Caretaking: From A Rookie's Point Of View

This year took quite a turn for me and my mother on January 22 of this year.

I was just getting off from work when she called telling me she fell from her backsteps and believed to have broken her leg. I immediately flew down I-85 to her home. She had made it into the house, but could not walk or stand. It appeared she had broken or twisted her ankle. I helped her to my car and we went to the emergency room.  After a three hour stay, they determined her left ankle was extremely fractured, as well as bones in her leg and knee. She would be out of commission for weeks and months.

Suddenly, I was thrust into the role of caretaker. Similar to death, there is no warning or preparation. I knew one day as my mom got older that I may have to take on this role, just not on this cold wintery day.

During the first two months, especially following her surgery, I had to take care of her and her household duties. I took over the cooking, cleaning, errand running, driving, and feeding of her animals. This was a huge adjustment for me, along with holding down a full time job and my writing and workout regimens. 

This experience has shown the both of us who really cares for us. Many people have called, texted, hit me up on social media or asked as I've been out and about. Some people have even helped with some of her needs or looked out for her when I couldn't take off from work. However, I have been doing the majority of the stuff for her.

The healthier my mother has gotten, the easier things have been for me. She had to be in a wheelchair because her arms were not strong enough for crutches or a walker. Mom was able to begin putting weight on her foot in mid-March and that was good for both of us. She could stand up for short periods of time and do some housework, and even cook and do more for herself. She even cooked Easter dinner with my assistance, her first meal since the accident.

On April 26, I came home to a pleasant suprise. My mom had taken her first steps since the fall. She has taken more, is using the walker more, and is further on the road to full recovery. There is still some deadness in her ankle area, and she feels pain if she is on her foot too long. She is working towards walking full time again.

Thus far this month, she gained the courage to go into the grocery store with me and pick out her own items. She finally was able to take a shower this past weekend. These are things many take for granted, but these are milestones to us.

I pray now that the hardest parts are over, and my mom will have the courage and confidence to continue to recover. It's up to her now.  Some days she wears herself out because she wants things to return to the normal she knows. But she is remaining patient and so am I.

I feel I have learned a lot not just about caretaking, but about my mother. I never really realized what all she does, and her certain ways and quirks. I have had to channel my adulthood and manhood to survive this.  My time this year has been cut in half and I have had to manage it more carefully and sacrifice more. This is my mother and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm very fortunate that my mom's condition is improving.  Things could have been way worse. She fell nearly five feet so she actually got off lucky only suffering a broken ankle. She could have been paralyzed or even killed. I'm so blessed that she is still with me.

Yesterday of course was Mother's Day and this one was extra special. My mother and I have always been close. Now I feel an even deeper appreciation and love for her. I'm leaving this in God's hands. Despite the hard times and bad days, I know He doesn't put any more on us than we can bear.

I have a week off from work coming soon, plus it's almost summertime. I'm looking forward to resting, relaxing, more consistently warm weather, and seeing my mom be able to be herself again.

It takes a special heart and love to be a caretaker. I honestly had doubts I could do it. However, I prayed, sought out the advice of others, and did my research on her injury, recovery, rehab, and caretaking in general. I've been able to do the seemingly impossible.

I refuse to give up helping my mother in whatever she needs. Also, I pray she doesn't give up her fight as her road to recovery may be shorter than she thinks.

My journey with my finger

This has been the weekend that we have designated for giving thanks for friends, family, blessings in our life, etc. This hasn't been the best year of my life in many aspects, but it has been far from my worst. One of the things that I've been giving thanks for the past two months has been the speedy recovery of my dislocated right pinkie finger that I suffered over Labor Day weekend.

Many of you know by now that I pretty much live in the gym, doing a wide variety of activities from weight lifting, cardio, basketball, aerobics and most recently ZUMBA. On the Friday before Labor Day of this year, I was playing a 2 on 2 pickup basketball game at the gym. It was getting pretty rough and intense. I couldn't hit water from a boat, shotwise, but my defense was on that day. I was going against one of the best outside shooters that comes to our gym and I was shutting him down. I was making him drive to the basket. We both went up for a rebound and our hands collided. When I came down, I felt a little pain in my right pinkie. I figured it was a little bump until I looked at my finger. It was disfigured and bent the other direction. I held it up and asked the other guys what they thought and they were all like "WHOAA!!!!" I immediately left and went to the emergency room. That's when the pain started subsiding. They put my finger in a splint, prescribed some pain meds, and left me with a lot of concern as to what I was going to do next.

I didn't know how long I was going to have to be out of work, the gym, and if I was going to be able to play in the upcoming alumni football game I was helping organize. I really was doing a lot of praying during this time, especially that Labor Day weekend. I never really realize how valuable my pinkies were until that moment right there.

Since it was Labor Day weekend, I went to the doctor on Tuesday after I went to work and informed my employers of the situation. The doctor performed another X-ray, and took my finger out of the splint. I still couldn't move it much without any pain so the doctor recommend that I take it light on my finger until I could move it and see him again in a week. If I couldn't move the finger any better, I would have to undergo therapy. I stayed out of work for a week, dissolving the rest of my vacation and sick time (that's the policy at my job if you take leave and it's not their fault). It turns out I had just enough time to cover just that time fortunately. I only worked out three days before I saw the doctor again, only cardio and abs. By Saturday, I could move my finger much better, but I still couldn't make a fist. Nevertheless, that next Tuesday, the doctor was pleased that I could move my finger without any pain, and cleared me to work and do more activity.

During my personal research and diagnosis, I was told that my injury could take 3-6 weeks or longer to heal. Well, inside of 4 weeks, I could make a fist. By 6 weeks, I had very minimal pain and was basically healed. I still experience a little pain, but nothing serious nor substantial. I had to baby my finger for so long and I do get cautious about it, especially when I bump it accidently. However, I'm more confident in what I can do with my finger, and grateful about my recovery.

It could have been much, much worse. I could have broken my arm or leg, or have had required surgery that would have kept me out of work for weeks and lost myself money, even with my company's short-term disability plan. I look back now at what happened and smile. I'm glad things turned out the way that they did. I now practice even more safety measures, especially with my style of play on the basketball court. I plan on using my vacation and sick time more carefully (which I usually do anyways) when I receive it again in January. Moreover, I'm doing my best not to take ANY of my limbs for granted.

Once again, this hasn't been the best year for me but I know things could be far, far worse. Now I'm grateful for the little things, like being able to type this blog with ALL ten of my fingers, give someone a firm handshake without pain (which took almost all 6 weeks to be able to do), and for a newer perspective on life.

Someone reminded me on Facebook that there are 33 days left of 2010. I will do what I can to make these 33 the best I can, and to make the most out of 2011. I've had worse setbacks than the one I suffered almost three months ago now, I'm a strong-willed, determined person. I'm not gonna let anything keep me down for long. I will enjoy life and what it has given and taken from me.