Sunday, February 26, 2017

TABLES: Really, You Didn't Know That?

Eli has been sitting at the table with the older guys for months now once his work schedule coordinated with theirs. It seems Hank gets easily riled over most trivial matters, but no more than politics. And being an older, Caucasian male, he is overly obsessed with Native Americans as well. Jeff whines about the same things every single day. He keeps saying he's going to do this, that, or the third, but he's been working there since they opened the facility, and hasn't done much. He simply has no follow through.

These two are definitely the headliners of this table and the most vocal, at least at the table. Someone forgot to tell these two middle aged men that it's just a job. They get all worked up, but outside of Hank reporting safety hazards, they don't do much to improve their situations. They are definitely Paul and John, Jordan and Mark, Ralph and Bobby, etc.

Nevertheless, these guys are very clueless regarding the changes made within the company. They often arrive at the last minute and aren't at the morning meetings/stand ups.  Many, especially Hank and Jeff, don't communicate with management much except when something goes wrong or they are reprimanded.

Now Eli is the type to keep up and stay in the know and he hasn't been with the company very long. It's similar to complaining about things in your city and community, but not voting or expressing your voice. Often it seems to Eli that many guys at this table often blow off steam and are full of hot air.

How long of this ranting can Eli take? At first, it was funny, especially when Hank would be angry and red faced. Now it's really getting old and stale like, well, you get the point.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017


Eli works at a pretty large company. It's so big everyone has to go to lunch at different times. The cafeteria/lunch room/breakroom/canteen is huge and has many tables.

Each table tells a different story. It is broken up by groups of common interests, races, cultures, jobs, religions, age, etc. You have a couple of cool kids tables, some tables with mostly black folks, one with mostly Hispanics, and one where more of the old and nearly retired sit.

Eli somehow found himself at the table with the older fellas. He encountered five interesting personalities. Hank the Crank  (the cranky, crazy one), Jeff  (he's been there way too long and is so disgruntled you wonder how he didn't end up at the Post Office), the Johns, big and little John. Big John is cool but can get paranoid about work. Little John is nearing retirement and is just cold chilling. Terrell is a budding artist who sees the job as a paycheck, nothing more.

However, there are many adventures to come as Eli begins to sit everyday with these five guys, and see that just because they're veterans, doesn't mean they couldn't learn more

Sunday, February 12, 2017

10 Different Types of Coworkers

I am currently in my 22nd year of working for my money legally. I have held several different types of jobs over this time period: labor intensive, food service, customer service, clerical, teaching, and management. The jobs may change and vary but the people aren't all that different. Here are 10 of those exact types.

1. The Seasoned Veteran

This person has been working all of their lives and is closing in on retirement. They take their work seriously but not overboard to the point of undue stress. There's not much they haven't seen and they often reminisce back to the simpler times not only in the workplace but our world.

2. The Know It All

Every job has this person. They have x amount of skills and show it constantly. There's nothing you can't tell them and they are often the most obnoxious workers. They are either management's favorites or the ones that could be close to getting the ax.

3. The Burned Out

This worker has been working at that place way too long. You can see it in their eyes, it shows of pain and depression. The job has literally consumed the life out of them. As terrible as this sounds, this is often their means of mental survival, as well as financial. Should they leave the job, they would barely be able to function.

4. The Hot Shot Newbie

This is the second most hated coworker. They literally just started  (like last week or last month) and they are already getting more attention and notoriety than you ever did. They are constantly in management and HR's face and before you know it, they are in your face, telling you what you did wrong. Ummm, excuse you? But this isn't the worst type of coworker to have,...

5. The Brown Noser

Yep this one is everywhere in all lines of work. They do very little because they kiss up to management or even because they're a family legacy and their parents basically knows and vacations with the owner. If you didn't get that promotion you were seeking or if you're on a crappy job assignment, chances are it's because of The Brown Noser. They are a workplace cancer.

6. The Pseudo Boss

They aren't management or even on that path. But you can't tell them that. They are always trying to tell you how to do your job and where you messed up. It can be stressful already trying to meet workplace expectations. Now you have this person all in your business and space.

7. The Snitch

Not much different from The Brown Noser. Just that they are more cut throat and get cheap thrills from getting others into trouble. I have a friend that has a dirty word for snitches but I won't say it in this piece. In short, they are steadily telling on someone.

8. The Workhorse.

They are there an hour before shift and often stay late voluntarily. They rarely take any types of breaks and have zero time for small talk. It's all business with them. These are the ones that should be promoted but often aren't.

9. Barely There

By this, I mean what it says. They lay out and take vacation, personal,  whatever time they can to be out. They aren't necessarily lazy, they are just hardly ever at work. They work part time hours and get full time benefits. Barely Theres also take these long periods of leave, even if nothing is wrong with them.

10. The By The Book Robots

There are definitely by the book managers. But guess what, many of them started out in this role. They do everything exactly like they should, no shortcuts, no disagreeing even when something is wrong. They are a different version of The Workhorse. They will work odd hours, shifts, etc without any complaint. Shoot they don't complain, they live for the job. You could even call them company people. Point is everything they do is overexemplary and over the top. Either they will soar and be the GM or they may snap. Hard to really hate on a model worker, but these folks often don't know how to relax or to use good judgment.