Sunday, May 12, 2013

Caretaking: From A Rookie's Point Of View

This year took quite a turn for me and my mother on January 22 of this year.

I was just getting off from work when she called telling me she fell from her backsteps and believed to have broken her leg. I immediately flew down I-85 to her home. She had made it into the house, but could not walk or stand. It appeared she had broken or twisted her ankle. I helped her to my car and we went to the emergency room.  After a three hour stay, they determined her left ankle was extremely fractured, as well as bones in her leg and knee. She would be out of commission for weeks and months.

Suddenly, I was thrust into the role of caretaker. Similar to death, there is no warning or preparation. I knew one day as my mom got older that I may have to take on this role, just not on this cold wintery day.

During the first two months, especially following her surgery, I had to take care of her and her household duties. I took over the cooking, cleaning, errand running, driving, and feeding of her animals. This was a huge adjustment for me, along with holding down a full time job and my writing and workout regimens. 

This experience has shown the both of us who really cares for us. Many people have called, texted, hit me up on social media or asked as I've been out and about. Some people have even helped with some of her needs or looked out for her when I couldn't take off from work. However, I have been doing the majority of the stuff for her.

The healthier my mother has gotten, the easier things have been for me. She had to be in a wheelchair because her arms were not strong enough for crutches or a walker. Mom was able to begin putting weight on her foot in mid-March and that was good for both of us. She could stand up for short periods of time and do some housework, and even cook and do more for herself. She even cooked Easter dinner with my assistance, her first meal since the accident.

On April 26, I came home to a pleasant suprise. My mom had taken her first steps since the fall. She has taken more, is using the walker more, and is further on the road to full recovery. There is still some deadness in her ankle area, and she feels pain if she is on her foot too long. She is working towards walking full time again.

Thus far this month, she gained the courage to go into the grocery store with me and pick out her own items. She finally was able to take a shower this past weekend. These are things many take for granted, but these are milestones to us.

I pray now that the hardest parts are over, and my mom will have the courage and confidence to continue to recover. It's up to her now.  Some days she wears herself out because she wants things to return to the normal she knows. But she is remaining patient and so am I.

I feel I have learned a lot not just about caretaking, but about my mother. I never really realized what all she does, and her certain ways and quirks. I have had to channel my adulthood and manhood to survive this.  My time this year has been cut in half and I have had to manage it more carefully and sacrifice more. This is my mother and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm very fortunate that my mom's condition is improving.  Things could have been way worse. She fell nearly five feet so she actually got off lucky only suffering a broken ankle. She could have been paralyzed or even killed. I'm so blessed that she is still with me.

Yesterday of course was Mother's Day and this one was extra special. My mother and I have always been close. Now I feel an even deeper appreciation and love for her. I'm leaving this in God's hands. Despite the hard times and bad days, I know He doesn't put any more on us than we can bear.

I have a week off from work coming soon, plus it's almost summertime. I'm looking forward to resting, relaxing, more consistently warm weather, and seeing my mom be able to be herself again.

It takes a special heart and love to be a caretaker. I honestly had doubts I could do it. However, I prayed, sought out the advice of others, and did my research on her injury, recovery, rehab, and caretaking in general. I've been able to do the seemingly impossible.

I refuse to give up helping my mother in whatever she needs. Also, I pray she doesn't give up her fight as her road to recovery may be shorter than she thinks.

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