Dating isn't an easy game, especially with all of the changes women go through. Pregnancy, hormones, emotions, and then other outside factors. Some they can control, some they cannot. Fellas, be gentle and understanding. It's not easy to date a woman, especially when she's in a state of transition. There are a few common types of transitions you may encounter while courting a woman.
1. Career change.
This can also be a time for celebration. If she is promoted, she has more money, more responsibilities at her job, but often less time for you. If she's demoted, has her paycut, or is downsized, she may struggle for a while. This means you may have to carry the load until she gets back on her feet. However, do not do anything for her that she wouldn't do for you. Support her, however, in success and failure. Do not feel threatened if she suddenly makes more money than you. If this is a relationship headed north, that is always a good thing.
2. Weight loss/gain.
Weight loss can be awesome for you. You may have not asked her too, but suddenly she has a new body and a new confidence. Keep the jealously in tact though. More guys will be checking her out. Let that be a compliment to you. If she has gained weight, offer her positive reinforcement. Do not just leave or shun her. She does not need to be reminded that she cannot fit that sexy red jumpsuit you like. That is a slippery slope to walk.
3. Losing a loved one
I have written before about grieving. She may feel down for weeks or months. Make sure you take her out to places she normally likes to go, plan a fun getaway, and go the extra mile. She needs to know you care. Her memory will be clouded during her grieving, but its unlikely she will forget how you treated her in her darkest hour.
4. Moving to a new home and/or city
This is exciting and stressful. She suddenly is in uncharted waters, and doesn't know many people. Show her around if she moved to your city. Help connect her with certain things she enjoyed in her other location. Also, if the move is away from you, talk it over and make the proper arrangements to assure all can work out. You should make a go at it.
5. Newfound faith
She may have found the Lord, or renewed her faith. Her entire lifestyle has now changed. While she can't expect yours too also, remember she may not want to do many of the things you used to do together. Finding a happy medium is key. Remember everything that is fun is not sinful.
6. Coming home from the military
Iraq and Afghanistan veterans can react differently once they're amongst civilians again. Even women in the Reserves and the Guard do not feel the same. Basic training and deployment can give them discipline and loyalty, but make them feel distant. Patience is the key. Also, do not ever feel where you're threatened or in harm's way. Give them time and space also. They need a chance as this is one of the toughest transitions.
7. Going off to school/graduating.
Again, they are either leaving you or returning. Either way, they are more educated, and their mind is typically more open about certain things. Be happy that they have made that move to better themselves and keep a good foundation. Perhaps she can show you some things, or encourage you to return to school. Knowledge is power.
The basic theme in these transitions is patience. You will see your woman acting, talking, and reacting like never before. Just remember why you like her, why you're with her, and where you want to be with her long term. You must have a strong foundation that can endure any test. You may marry this person someday. Therefore, if you support her in her transitional phases, you are better equipped to support her in the various phases and challenges that a marriage brings.
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