Yes it is possible.
There will be many out there that will tell you friends cannot be lovers, and vice versa. It is not easy, and requires a special connection between the two parties, but it can happen.
First, each person must know their role. Feelings can get wrapped up easily and you have to balance them and balance them well. Agendas and long term plans should be thrown out the window.
Also, have a strong foundation. Life does go on for grown folks after the loving is over. These friends can help make you a better mate, tell you where you went wrong with them, and how to improve. It's almost as if you are practicing for the big game.
Also, to reinterate, you are adults, NOT teenagers. You should not burn bridges with that person unless things were really bad. Most things can and should be forgiven.
Recognize the new status in the ex-lover's life and accept it with grace. Do not relive it, and give them their space.
Ultimately, you can be lovers and friends, but not always at the same time. You will usually transition to one or the other, but not both. Going back and forth is also confusing and hurtful. Once you have taken that step, you must either date, get married, or stay friends. Adults don't play around forever. It's fun for a while, but it does get old.
So again its possible for friends to be lovers and lovers to be friends. It is a different type of friendship that requires a different type of effort and emotion. Maturity and mutual respect are required.
Finally, do not get so hung up on expressing yourself to your friend. If they do not understand and stray from you, they really weren't your friend, or at least the type of friend you needed. Ladies and gentlemen, life is short. Go for what your heart desires!
The heart wants what the heart wants...I married my best friend. He makes me laugh, hold me when I cry, takes care of me when I'm sick and sees me for who I really am. He looks beyond my faults and still loves ME.
ReplyDeleteMy husband, my friend, my lover -- he's all I need and want wrapped up in one big package of loveable teddy bear, laugh out loud kind of love who picks me up when I fall and holds me when I need it -- cries with me when my heart is breaking over family or other problems and even watches sappy movies with me. He's my kind of man.
Friends can be lovers -- communication is key -- and honesty is always the best policy in matters of the heart -- especially when you are married to your very, best friend.