Food, Friends and Fun

McDonald's had a slogan in the 90s: food, folks, and fun. I thought I would put a spin on this with the title.

We often bond with friends, family and our significant others well over a hot cooked meal. Mainly because we all have to eat and especially in the South where most of us enjoy a good meal, it is a good way to relax and unwind from any busy work and such.

The family meal used to be a staple for years. Families would gather in front of the dining room table at dinnertime and talk about their day. Amazing, isn't it? You have some families (and even groups of friends) that go to lunch and/or dinner together at least once/week. Heck in my area, there are certain spots that are perfect for this. You have Chuck E Cheese for the younger folks, and places such as Broncos Mexican Restaurant for the adults.

I remember as a boy, my mom would take us to dinner at least a couple of times per week. During the week it was mostly fast food (unless we were going to Pizza Hut to cash in rewards from the Book It program) and on weekends it was the local fish camp or steakhouse. We loved to eat and it was a perfect bonding experience.

This weekend, restaurants have been jam packed due to tax season and Valentine's Day. Many friends and family have more disposable cash to go out for drinks and food. Also, this weekend is the perfect time for lovers to express themselves and this amour towards one another. It's a simple but effective way of spending time together.

I have found out that if you want people to show up anywhere, have food available. Once again, we all have to eat. I have met friends numerous times over meals, big and small. It is an awesome way to stay in touch.

How often do you and your friends/family go out to eat together? Where are some of your favorite meeting spots?

10 Different Types Of Friends

We encounter many different types of friends in our lives. Some are very loyal,  always down with us. Others serve different purposes, and we know the role they play in our lives. Which type of friend are you to a certain person?  Everyone can't be #1 to everyone, that's just the way of the world.

1. Old homies/best friends. 

You have a long history with these friends.  They know you better than you know yourself. You all may still hang out, but you may not because of proximity,  work schedules,  etc. However,  it seems when you do all hang out or talk, nothing is lost. You simply pick back up where you left off. 

2. Hang Out/Partying Friends

These are simply the friends you have wild times with. Parties, bonfires,  drinking,  smoking,  clubbing,  etc. Their devotion is really tested, however,  when one needs bail money.

3. Business/Work.

You know each other through work and spend a lot of time mostly because of that. You may hang out, go to dinner and do fun stuff together.  However,  outside of business at hand, there isn't much in common.

4. Hook Up/Connections

These are your friends with all the connections on everything from EBT to hotel rooms and other vacation amenities.  They know or are your mechanics and fix it folk. They basically help you obtain things at a free or a discounted price.  They are also good for a job reference or even giving you extra work.

5. Opposite Sex Friends (minus the benefits).

These friends serve many purposes. You may be able to talk to them easier about things that your same sex friends wouldn't understand. They give you the point of view from the opposite sex. They also may be good either as a connection friend also, or a mother/father figure.

6. Simply Virtual Friends.

These are friends that you communicate with primarily through social media. You don't really hang out with them, and you may not know them in real life. However,  you all have awesome conversations and discussions over status updates, hot button topics,  and pictures. 

7. Friends That Are Like Fam.

Similar to #1, these are your elite friends.  They are closer than a friend.  They are more like a brother or a sister. You can count on them for anything and they won't betray you. You could have known them for a couple of years or decades but they are there for the long haul.

8. Frenemies (Fake Friends)

We have many people in life that we entertain briefly,  mostly to be polite. There is no real friendship. You may have a mutual friend, connection or interest. That is basically it. This isn't the person you call over to watch the game with, or have a drink. 

9. Activity Friends.

These may be the friends that you see the most, as they are the ones who are at the activities you partake in the most. Parties,  cookouts, church,  sporting events, and even vacations.  These are who you do all your fun stuff with, often for convenience or mutual love for the same thing.  Good friendships can be built from these fun activities.

10. Down For Anything,  Beat Down friends.

These are the ones you call or contact when you feel in harm's way.  They will be there on the double to protect you. Some of them aren't even afraid to go to jail for you. If someone is threatening you or whatever,  they have your back and your front. They are like your team.

Friends come and go, in most categories and instances. Again, know which roles they have in your lives, and the ones to draw closest to.

Brotherly Love: What It's Really About

One thinks of brotherly love and may reference three things: their blood-kin brother(s), brothers/friends from a fraternity or other similar social organization, and of course the city of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania which is dubbed "the city of brotherly love."
I won't name all of my friends and family that I consider brothers as there are many and they are all special to me. I will mention my only brother, Adam.
Many of you know I lost him in 2006 to a drug overdose. However, we had that inside connection and bond that can be taught, but is usually formed naturally. We shared some of the same feelings regarding life, education, fun, movies, and of course family. Adam and I both loved our mother, and that was the main thing we bonded over. She raised us both to be men, and we would (and still will) do anything for her.
Proverbs talks about Christ being a friend that sticks closer than a brother. On another side of the spectrum, rapper Styles P once was paraphrased as saying the first thing learned in the hood is homeboy love. I can honestly say that when I started going to school and church, I learned about the love for my friends and homies outside of my family. Many of them became more than family over the years and I'm grateful for them, especially since my brother is no longer with me..
The bond you share with your brothers, friends, boys, etc is like no other. They know you better than you know yourself. When you're serious about a woman, you bring her around them to see how everybody interacts. You have fun together, laugh, and often just chill.  Jokes are often cracked and debates and arguments arise. However, the brotherly bond really shows when one is in need or in trouble. No one outside of the circle will mess with you, talk bad about you, or cause you harm. I have this same feeling towards my brothers.
I have been faced with a lot of changes and transitions over the past year. This has involved getting closer to those that appreciate my time and attention, and distancing myself from those that do not deserve it. This even included some family that weren't treating me as such. As I was going through my phone and social media lists, it became clearer who my friends and brothers were. I could contact them at anytime for any little thing, and I didn't have to question their loyalty in the least.
This post is geared for the fellas, but I feel women can also apply it in their friendships and sisterhoods. You want people that are in your corner, will love you unconditionally, and will tell you what you need to hear, rather than what sounds good.
Times change and so do some people. I feel blessed at the bonds and connections I have gained. When I was looking at my various friend and contact lists, I came to realize how close I am with so many people, and that the bonds were often so strong we could go without talking for months and pick back up where we last left off.
It's not always macho for men to show and express their feelings. However, loyalty, a firm handshake, and simply fun times are some great ways to show your fellow man that he is appreciated.

Friends Can Be Lovers, Really?

Yes it is possible.

There will be many out there that will tell you friends cannot be lovers, and vice versa. It is not easy, and requires a special connection between the two parties, but it can happen.

First, each person must know their role. Feelings can get wrapped up easily and you have to balance them and balance them well. Agendas and long term plans should be thrown out the window.

Also, have a strong foundation. Life does go on for grown folks after the loving is over. These friends can help make you a better mate, tell you where you went wrong with them, and how to improve. It's almost as if you are practicing for the big game.

Also, to reinterate, you are adults, NOT teenagers. You should not burn bridges with that person unless things were really bad. Most things can and should be forgiven.

Recognize the new status in the ex-lover's life and accept it with grace. Do not relive it, and give them their space.

Ultimately, you can be lovers and friends, but not always at the same time. You will usually transition to one or the other, but not both. Going back and forth is also confusing and hurtful. Once you have taken that step, you must either date, get married, or stay friends. Adults don't play around forever. It's fun for a while, but it does get old.

So again its possible for friends to be lovers and lovers to be friends. It is a different type of friendship that requires a different type of effort and emotion. Maturity and mutual respect are required.

Finally, do not get so hung up on expressing yourself to your friend. If they do not understand and stray from you, they really weren't your friend, or at least the type of friend you needed. Ladies and gentlemen, life is short. Go for what your heart desires!

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