Friends and the Workplace

Many often hear "you're not at work to make friends, you're there to work."  I find this to be the opposite.

I have worked at many places, many jobs over the past two decades. One thing I will tell you is this: making and having good friends and connections on the job often made it more fun and enjoyable. This was even the cases for jobs and companies I didn't care for. The support and comaderie of the people made my experiences much better.

I still keep in touch with not only many former coworkers but also former managers and employers. It's a good and balanced professional and personal relationship.

Think about this when you're at work, some of the best times are hanging around the break area or water cooler, going to lunch with your coworkers, and simply working hard together to achieve a common goal. Also, you're around them more than your own family. Many folks take a job and/or stay on one based on their connections.

This has fueled our economic recovery the past few years. There were those trying to keep their jobs, and other trying to find ones. Either way, having good friends in their corner helped in achieving both ends. It has also been the case for me. I have mentioned before about networking. Well, that extends inside the workplace as well. Get along with as many people as possible, from the CEO, to the custodial staff. They can make your job Heaven or Hell. Just as with the actual places, the choice is yours.

I have felt blessed to get along with most of the folks I have worked alongside. You watch each other laugh, complain and cry. You see their children grow up. You attend their weddings. All of you are sociable outside of the company grounds.

Now this isn't always the case for everyone or every company. However, having people around you that you genuinely like and enjoy can make any job better and more fulfilling.

How important do you think it is to get along with your colleagues? Do you get along with past and current coworkers?

Cleanses vs Fasts: Which is Better?

The New Year's weight loss craze continues as Lent is in its second week. I have written previously about both topics.

Many do other fasts during the year that aren't Lent. The Daniel Fast is growing popular: I did that one earlier this year. It's a good way to clean your system out following the December holidays.

And this brings me to cleanses. People love these for their quick results and convenience.

Anyone who knows me knows I don't believe in quick fixes, especially when it comes to weight loss. Clean eating and even the occasional fast are more much effective long term and here's why.

1. When you are fasting, you are typically giving up something that you can easily do without, or replace. You often still get your popular nutrients. Cleanses often do not give you the proper nutrients and vitamins you need.

2. Cleanses became popular in 2006 when singer/actress Beyonce' announced how she dropped weight when she played Effie in "Dreamgirls". She did a lemon juice fast, one that many have duplicated. Bey probably did this one longer than one should, for over 10 days. Cleansing the body can be healthy and effective. However, one should not go more than 3 days without proper nutrition, proteins, and the like. Cleanses can damage the body long term as many do them often too much. Fasts have the opposite effect. They are a healthier, more balanced sacrifice.

3. Cleanses are often used out of desperation and even as a crutch. Fasts and clean eating take longer, but they promote a more healthy lifestyle. This should be the aim of fitness anyways: a healthy, consistent lifestyle. Most everyone falls off a bit. Having an effective plan can keep you from resorting to anything that's not built to last long term.

4. There are many other simpler, healthier methods for cleaning out your body and removing unhealthy toxins. You can simply concentrate on fruits, vegetables, water, lots of greens and no meats for example, simply lean proteins. Fruits and veggies rarely have a limit so load up. Keep the complex carbs and proteins in your regimen and you will get clean even better than any cleanse on the market.

Try one of my favorite sites, www.leanitup.com,and do your own research. I would discourage anyone from depending upon cleanses heavily. Building a lifestyle always yields better and longer results.

Do you prefer cleanses over fasts? If so, have you researched the pros and cons of both?

Food, Friends and Fun

McDonald's had a slogan in the 90s: food, folks, and fun. I thought I would put a spin on this with the title.

We often bond with friends, family and our significant others well over a hot cooked meal. Mainly because we all have to eat and especially in the South where most of us enjoy a good meal, it is a good way to relax and unwind from any busy work and such.

The family meal used to be a staple for years. Families would gather in front of the dining room table at dinnertime and talk about their day. Amazing, isn't it? You have some families (and even groups of friends) that go to lunch and/or dinner together at least once/week. Heck in my area, there are certain spots that are perfect for this. You have Chuck E Cheese for the younger folks, and places such as Broncos Mexican Restaurant for the adults.

I remember as a boy, my mom would take us to dinner at least a couple of times per week. During the week it was mostly fast food (unless we were going to Pizza Hut to cash in rewards from the Book It program) and on weekends it was the local fish camp or steakhouse. We loved to eat and it was a perfect bonding experience.

This weekend, restaurants have been jam packed due to tax season and Valentine's Day. Many friends and family have more disposable cash to go out for drinks and food. Also, this weekend is the perfect time for lovers to express themselves and this amour towards one another. It's a simple but effective way of spending time together.

I have found out that if you want people to show up anywhere, have food available. Once again, we all have to eat. I have met friends numerous times over meals, big and small. It is an awesome way to stay in touch.

How often do you and your friends/family go out to eat together? Where are some of your favorite meeting spots?

1996: From Boy To Man

1996 was the year that I continued my progression from boy to man.  I got my driver's license that year, graduated high school, turned 18, went on two big trips, and began college.

It's hard to believe all of this has been 20 years. Time truly does fly by. I had a good hairline then and a clean face.

I showed my independence as a freshman at Winthrop University in Rock Hill, SC. Not only was I the first in my grandma's immediate family to graduate high school, I had earned the right to attend a university. And it was an adjustment. Many do not know, but there were days and nights that I didn't know if I would make it. I was away from home for a long period of time, no supervision, didn't know many people , and the classes were so hard (especially those 8am classes). I actually not only missed my family, I missed my high school and hometown. Strange if you hear me now. I was in a different world for sure, one that I would grow to love.

This was also the year I lost my great grandpa, Bill Dover, long the patriarch of the Dover clan. He passed away shortly after my high school graduation at age 82.  I also gained a new family, finally connecting with my dad's side of the family, the McGills. Circumstances had kept me from them but I was determined to get to know them now.

I still loved my R&B, but my guilty pleasure was actually Alanis Morrisette. She had some moving ballads that got me through this transitional period. Movie wise, Independence Day with Will Smith and Vivica A. Fox ruled the box office. The South was all a buzz about the Carolina Panthers beginning their first season in then-Ericcson stadium, and with the Summer Olympics being held in nearby Atlanta, GA. Who would have thought the Panthers would be playing in their second Super Bowl since that time? 

1996 was quite a year for me, one of growth and happiness.

What were your favorite memories of 1996? Was it a good year for you?

Adam Lanier: 10 Years Later, Still Making An Impact

This is without question the toughest blog I have had to write in my six years of blogging.

Many of you know my only brother, Justin Adam Lanier, passed away of an accidental drug overdose after fighting substance abuse for six years prior. This Thursday, January 28 will mark 10 years since he left us in the physical.

Imagine your worst day ever. Well this day was 100 times as worst. And often it feels as it just happened.

Here are some tidbits/facts for those that didn't get the chance to know my brother, and for those that did.

1. He was born March 2, 1983 in Divine Savior Hospital in York, SC. (now closed). He arrived into the world feet first (breech birthed).

2. He was always very active and hyper, walking and running at only six months. To my recollection, he never had to learn, he just did it.

3. His baby names were "Lovey" and "Fatwad". If you saw his early pics, you would see why.

4. Adam was always popular, having many friends around. That continued throughout his life.

5. My brother had a natural gift with the ladies and young children. Both gravitated towards him. He was quite the entertainer. I'm confident he would have been an awesome father and possibly husband.

6. Adam was actually pretty smart in school, he just didn't apply himself. He was all about friends, girls, and fitting in.

7. His favorite holiday was Halloween and he made a huge deal out of it yearly.

8. He lived life to the fullest, possibly because he knew he didn't have a lot of time on Earth.

9. We didn't have a lot in common at all,  but one thing we shared was a deep and loyal love for our mother. No one messed with our mama!

10. Adam was in the high school marching and jazz band for six years, playing the drums. He won many awards and was simply skilled.

11. His resemblance to rapper Eminem was uncanny, especially once he dyed his own hair.

12. My mom's house was the local teenage hangout for a number of years. Many parties were thrown weekly.

13 He, like our grandpa Frosty, was extremely superstitious.

14. His death has inspired others in his circle and age group to do many great things. Many of them didn't want to be a statistic. I would give anything to get him back, but I take solace in the fact that others loved him so much and he made such an impact on their lives.

This day is never easy for me or my mother. We have learned to celebrate the man he was becoming, and to tell the positive stories of his life. He can be a cautionary tale and an inspiration.

R.I.P. Justin Adam Lanier #forever22

Being The Unwelcome House Guest: Who Wants That?

I figured I would add a little shock value with this title. This is how many of us feel like we are treated: like an unwanted presence or different, like the oddity that many minorites have felt for decades and centuries.

This is Dr. Martin Luther King Day weekend, and Black History Month is around the corner. America is honoring a man that gave his life so that ALL could have equal rights and treatment. Dr. King's dream extended to social, political and professional circles as well. It may have been motivated by how blacks were treated in the 50s, but it was much broader.

Present day, many still practice this unfair, unjust treatment of others simply because they look, talk or act differently than yourself. We need unity and tolerance if we are ever going to move forward as a country and society. This is the HUMAN race, and Dr. King's dream for equality will continue to move at a slower pace consequently.

Think about it: when it is the last time you treated less than or inferior? How did it make you feel? Often you must place yourself into the shoes of others. Also, see this person as your best friend, parent or even child. You would be angry if they were treated in an unjust manner so why go and do it to someone else for no good reason?

Hate and racism are definitely taught and fueled by negative influences and exposures. One much open their hearts, eyes, minds and treat everyone better. Say hi to that coworker who is completely different than you. Thank the custodial and maintenance staffs of wherever you may be. Strike up a conversation with someone of a different background. These small gestures can assure that no one is being treated in an ugly matter.

Being and acting fair is a choice. Can you do it now, and going forward?

Five Writers To Watch In 2016 And Beyond

Many of us continue to read, write and support others in this endeavor. I always am supportive of those entering the writing world through blogging, books, spoken word and such. Now here are five such people to look out for in this year 2016.

1. Larry Parks

He also goes by "Larry P" as he has an online radio show called The Larry P Show hosted by Dok featuring N-Murda on The Good Ole Boys Network. He is actually the only male being featured and that is not intentional. His book "Fumble" is based on his failed attempts at intimacy. It takes courage and a sense of humor to put this in print. Larry does all of that well. I keep his book next to my nightstand as it a good, addictive read. A copy can be yours from Amazon for only $5. Support this young man now and in his future endeavors. Don't fumble your chance away!

2. Author R. Newson

I have featured Rayn Newson before when she first penned "When A Woman Loves". Now she is two books in and is developing her writing prowess and her brand. She has merchandise, a social media presence and relates to young adult women well. Her tales are of love, dreams, and entrepreneurship. Look out for her next book, and pick up her other two if you do not already own them. The place to go is www.authorRNewson.com.

3. Being Kindra

I have known Kindra for 20 years now. One of the things that has been a constant about her is the impeccable sense of fashion she possesses. One may see her as simply a shoe and heel fiend, but she actually is an expert on accessoring and showcasing all forms of fashion. Kindra is literally showing her passion for fashion through written word. Her stories are real, detailed and entertaining. Check her out at www.beingkindra.com and become one of her many followers.

4.  Inner Beauty Artistry.

The creator of this blog, Monet Brown, is a licensed esthetician. She specializes in skin care and treatment and wants to share her tips with the world. She is more than just a clean face or skin specialist. Monet wants us to get the most out of our skin and is not shy about showing her knowledge of products, proper care and dos/do nots. Visit and follow this young lady at innerbeautyartistry.wordpress.com.

5. She Is Bonita

Bonita Davis seemingly has it all. Brains, charm, an angelic singing voice, inner and outer beauty, and a stable, growing career.  The one thing she currently doesn't have is a significant other. As she exits her 20s, she openly shares with her readers her journey through love over the past few years and where it has lead her. Bonita's hope is to help someone who is going through similar experiences, and to grow into a better person herself. Check out this captivating lady at www.sheisbonita.com. She Is Writing. She Is Brave. She Is Uncompromising. She Is Bonita!

Ok well there you have it. Follow these five young writers as they grow and advance in their journey!

Are there other young , beginning authors that you know of? Do you know, and are already following one or all of these individuals?