Doing Setups Right

This Friday is the first day of Spring.  Usually this is breakup season, and many more folks are single this time of year.

Due to this fact, many people (friends,  family,  co-workers, etc) will try to fix the newly or long time single person with someone that they may not be compatible with. They often don't have a clue what either person really wants.  What they see is two single people who seem to look good together surface wise and think they would be a good pair. Unfortunately this isn't always the case.

This is one of many reasons setups and blind dates rarely work out. You shouldn't assume that someone is lonely because they are single.  One should not try to dump off a particular friend, sibling, co-worker, church member, etc,  on someone else. Allow these two adults to determine if they want each other.

You can act as a medium or a buffer to get them introduced. However,  follow these tips to successfully introduce them without meddling or making false judgments.

1. Ensure they are compatible. 

Again never assume, especially in the dating realm. Just because two people went to the same college, same race, same hometown, or even both own an Android phone,  doesn't mean they are meant to grow old together.  Find other things they may have in common. Also, make sure both parties are open to dating.

2. Let them do most of the work.

It's fine to introduce them and make sure they're properly acquainted. However,  after that, it may be best to step back and let them be adults. Allow them to get to know each other, talk,  go out, and take it to whatever level they wish to do.

3. Don't keep tabs on them

This is of paramount importance. They are dating each other,  NOT you and everyone else. They do not need to be your new couple friends, and you need not ask about them all the time. This is their relationship. If they want you to know, you will. Just don't pester them and drive them apart. 

4. Stop trying to pity one or the other. 

Yes some people have trouble finding dates on their own. However, there is always a reason,  good or bad, why they are single. What they don't need is someone adding to their disappointment. Again, simply arrange that they meet if they desire,  but don't automatically think they will be compatible.  They need your help, not your pity.  Do not throw someone you care about to the wolves to a certain rejection. 

Basically,  simmer down on trying to fix everyone up and marry everyone off. Believe it or not, everybody isn't meant to be married,  or even date steadily.  Let that person be themselves and stop trying to fit them into your ideal life. There will be less resentment and disappointment later.