Sunday, April 21, 2013

Eulogy for Robert Willard Costner

April 8, 2013 was the date when I lost yet another person near and dear to my heart. He was my great uncle Robert Willard Costner. He was married to my great aunt, my grandmother's baby sister, Ellen Jean, for nearly 40 years.  Robert left us at the age of 67.
Robert was a private person, not one for the public eye at all. He stayed to himself and minded his own business. Therefore, his dying wishes were that be cremated, and that a funeral would be unnecessary for him. His daughter Sissy decided to just make a place for his urn and allow folks the opportunity to pay their respects at any time.
I respect my Uncle Robert's wishes, but I do feel like he deserves some sort of eulogy. And here it is.   
Robert grew up from humble beginnings, the eldest of six children. Outside of his quiet nature, he was known for his relentless work ethic. He began working at age 15 with no formal education at the local Community Cash supermarket.
He married Ellen Jean Dover in the late 1960s. Ellen already had a son, Jerry. Robert raised and reared him just as he was his own flesh and blood. Sissy was born in 1970. Shortly thereafter, Robert bought a house directly across from the mill he worked at for two decades in Clover, SC.
Robert was a dedicated worker, husband and father. He did not want his family needing or wanting anything in life or death. He would even work in the mill on holidays, often being the only person there.
He was never one to gossip or to just blatantly put anyone down. Robert handled his business like a real man should, and was pleasant to be around. He had a folksy, very country way of talking and telling stories. He maintained his sense of humor even after he became sick and then lost his wife.
Robert was especially good to my mom and myself. We were very close with all of them. He was a father figure to both of us. There's nothing we wouldn't have did for him.
His hard work may have permanently disabled him, but it did not stop him from paying off his home before he died. Life insurance took care of other expenses. Therefore, he did not leave Sissy, Jerry, or his grandchildren with any debts or burdens.
He was special not because he saved lives, gave a wad of money to a church, or won prizes. He was a regular, hardworking average Joe who treated everyone well and was usually honest and ethical. You don't find many men like this anymore.
My hope is we can all work hard and laugh like Robert spent a lifetime doing. He set a great example for his entire family. I will miss our conversations, how he always lit up whenever myself or Mom came to visit, and his determined spirit.
Many may not have known the real Robert Costner. My hope in this article is that you can get a taste of the type of man he was, and the type of man I want to be. 

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