I've been waiting to blog about this for some time. And I thought that Valentine's Day was as good of a time as any.
I discuss with several females, and even males, about the type of mate they eventually want to settle with. While ladies tend to be more selective, guys typically will not just marry anyone. Basically, both sides have to be bringing something substantial to the table. It seems nowadays, though, folks are striving (sometimes desperately) to achieve their goal of being in a power couple.
A power couple is defined by society as one where one or both of them are very accomplished financially, socially, and intellectually. Think Will and Jada Smith (before the scandals) and now our First Family, President Barack Obama, and his first lady, Michelle.
Black people, especially, first got a taste via television of the power couple when The Jeffersons were on the air with George and Weezy. Then things seemed to really change when the Cosby Show came on the air. There was a successful two-parent black family on TV, and at one period of time was the #1 rated show on TV. Father Cliff Huxtable was a doctor, and mother Claire Huxtable was a lawyer. Surface-wise, this appears to be the ideal match, especially since many folks were also taught from childhood to seek well rounded, successful mates.
My thing is that are folks too obscessed with finding a mate to form a powerful merger with, rather than seeking love? Yes I know love doesn't conquer all and a relationship needs more than love to survive long term. My thing is these females that are looking and expecting every man to be 100% perfect when they themselves are barely 80%. They want their man to be Cliff, Will, Denzel, or Barack. Men want their women to be Halle, Janet, Michelle, or even Beyonce' . What happened to falling in love, and building a successful life together?
I heard a comedian say a while back that while many folks are seeking this "perfect mate", they may end up with a Carl Winslow or a Regina King. Not that there is anything wrong with either person, actor, or character. It is just some come to the realization that perfection is impossible to obtain, but love isn't. These folks may be your dreamboat, even if society doesn't deem it so.
I had an aunt and uncle recently celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary. I consider them a power couple because of the merger and marriage they built, the longevity and not by society's confusing standards. This couple worked hard all their lives, raised 4 children, owned their own home, two cars, etc. Mediocre by some, but to me, excellence.
Personally, I feel that my "power match" will be a lady that is the total package. She has it all balanced despite any flaws, between looks, intelligence, and personality. I feel as long as we both put in the work, trust and love each other and always communicate, this is a realistic dream for me.
Many have heard of the 80/20 rule and we often get caught up in that while trying to build a power couple. Once again, simply be realistic, and allow your heart to stay open.
Also, allow the Lord to order your steps. He will surely help send this person your way if he intends so. Remember 1 Corinthians 4-8, especially verse 8 "Love Never Ends"
Enjoy this day of love, but do not ever feel like your mate is not capable of being your power match because of this, that, and the third. It's cool to look up to famous marriages, and has been a practice for centuries. Just don't forget to look inside your heart, and make sure its in sync with your brain. After all, you have to live with this person and share a life. So make sure its someone that possesses those simple but vital qualities and not just a gleaming facade of a prince straight out of a Disney movie.
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