Monday, December 12, 2011

Bullying: my personal battles

There are many things wrong with this country, this world. We're nearing a depression, no major disease has been cured in nearly 60 years, and it seems our younger generation is not offering much promise. However, there has been one great form of justice that I love seeing and believe its far too late. This is the anti-bullying laws that are on the books and growing. Too bad this wasn't around in the 80s and 90s when I was a child, but this gives our troubled generation something to be fortunate about.


I was bullied and tormented throughout most of my school days. I was beaten up, called names, made fun of, ostracized from most of my peers, and just made to feel an outcast. It's not that I didn't fight back. I can fight, and as a muscular man who grew up in the sticks, I learned how to defend myself early on. In fact, I got into four fights in one school year, all on defending myself. However, I had to start fighting off of school grounds because all of this fighting was not looking good on my school record.


You name it, I got bullied for it. Being one of the smart kids, being poor, not having nice clothes or my own car when I turned 15, not being able to get girls, being overweight, biracial, stuttering.  Needless to say, my mother stayed up at the school for years, talking to teachers and principals to put a stop to this.  It was horrific, and made me realize who my true friends were then.


This sort of bullying, and even in more extreme forms, occurred for years until April 20, 1999, when a couple of teenagers at Columbine High in Colorado had enough.  They confronted and killed their assailants, several other students, then killed themselves. This single incident not only changed public school dynamics forever, it spawned many other school shootings and bomb threats. 


Technology also intensified bullying to a different level. Texting and social networks such as Facebook gave bullies other vehicles to get at folks that were simply "different" Victims then began committing suicide as they could not handle all the bullying coming from every angle.


Finally, a change was necessary. That is when anti-bullying laws finally came into effect in many states. Now I never consider taking my own life because of a bully. I do hate it took extreme fatalities before legislation was passed to control this. Bullying dates back to even biblical times. There has always been a bully for every smart, unique person that just couldn't fit in. Looks like a change is here. Perhaps not the change President Obama campaigned of in 2008, but a positive one nonetheless.


Now I'm not the type to hold a grudge. I'm very forgiving and am cool with many of the folks that bullied me in childhood. Many of them have apologized to myself and my mother for making my childhood hard. There is no weakness in forgiveness.


My faith in God, plus my strong willed nature and family and friend support have helped me to overcome my demons from the past. You have to move on, and not let bad moments turn you into a monster. I feel I became a better man as a result of my experiences.


My advice to current victims is not textbook but effective. Defend yourself. Stand strong and don't back down. Try to refrain from weapons if possible.  Take up boxing or MMA at your local Y, gym, or join a self defense class. If all that fails, find an adult you trust to help. This can be a parent, guardian, teacher, coach, pastor, or even a positive mentor. Let's end bullying once and for all. 


I appreciate everything I have and have accomplished in life because I have earned it.  I could have taken a left turn and ended up in jail, dead, or just an angry hoodlum. But instead I am a positive, educated, productive members of society. Life is full of choices and I was determined at a young age that these mean, misunderstood children were not going to get the best of me. Matter of fact, they motivate me and continue to do so to this day.


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