Love and marriage, love and marriage

Many of you know how the theme song to the hit TV show "Married With Children" goes. And there is a lot of truth behind that song. There are too many folks that believe you need money, the perfect wedding, the right house, etc, etc, to be married. They're updating their page daily on www.theknot.com, carefully planning every detail of the BIG day. That all is fine and dandy, but what about love?

It seems songwriter, musical artists, authors, etc will never run out of material to write about as long as love and marriage stays the way it currently is. This is officially the beginning of spring, and often when many weddings occur. I've already attended one wedding this year, and set to attend 4 more, one of which I will be a groomsman. I can say that these weddings include couples who are in love and are getting hitched for the right reasons. That's not always the case, however.

Marriage just isn't valued as it once was decades ago. It seems now soo many couples want to keep up with the Joneses and care more about the wedding than the marriage itself. I'm not saying the wedding shouldn't be a special, joyous occasion. You shouldn't need to go broke or deep in debt for that perfect day and/or honeymoon. Be reasonable and focus on the life that's being built.

There are two well-known statistics regarding marriage. Nearly 50% of them end in divorce. Also, nearly 50% of black women will go through their lifetime without getting married. Those are scary stats, especially if you're a black woman. Such stats have prompted guys to compile lists saying why black women aren't married. One of my friends and classmates (whom is a successful, intelligent, black woman herself) fired back with her own reasons why men aren't married. I have to say there was a lot of merit in both notes.

Now I'm 32, never been married, and I have no kids. And here's why. First of all, I didn't feel I was mentally, financially, or spiritually ready to be a husband in my 20s. I was kind of sheltered as a teen and in my early 20s, not dating very often. I wanted to get those experiences first. Next, I have yet to meet the woman that completes me that feels the same way. I feel I am an attractive man, inside and out. However, I seem to attract women that I cannot foresee a future with. Lastly, I still have some growing to do, especially when it comes to love. I'm still not ready to settle down just yet, but I'm getting closer by the day. That could be as a result of reason #2.

I do know this: when I do say "I do" I want it to be forever. I want a lady that completes me, is perfect for me, is my best friend, accepts me for who I am, and that I'm completely in love with. That day will come I know. Until then, I will wait patiently and watch and learn from the mistakes of others who didn't take marriage (or love) seriously enough.

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