Indecent and Inappropriate: How And Where NOT To Propose To A Woman

Valentine's Day is coming up this Thursday. I have been writing more about love over the past year. I decided for this Valentines to focus on all the engagements and proposals that occur on this day.

First let me start by saying it's predictable and clique' to get engaged or propose on Valentines. Yes the day is about love. However, proposals are supposed to be memorable, spontaneous, and unique. Nothing unorthodox about proposing on February 14th. I call it the gift and ring ceremony with all the flowers, candies, balloons, bears and rings I see posted on social media on this day.

To me, a marriage proposal shouldn't be a grand gesture, or even on a holiday or birthday. It should be sort of a surprise. The parents of the bride should be asked for their blessing, I believe that's only fair. However public spectacles such as on the Jumbotron at a professional sporting event or where a huge crowd is has been done a million times.

Keep your proposal simple, like during the commercial break of Family Guy. Also, pick another day other than Valentines. Propose marriage in the car or even during dinner at home. Either way, be creative and different. That would mean don't hide the ring inside food or beverages.

Here are two proposals I enjoyed. One was at the beach. This couple had went for a weekend getaway. The man had written "Will You Marry Me?" in the sand, then called his lady to look outside the balcony. Besides the writing in the sand, he was kneeling with the ring.

Another good one was a scavenger hunt. This fella send his wife to be on a well thought out quest and game, till she found the ring in a tree. He popped the question right then.

Now, certain things, including asking for the parents blessing, should not go out of style. Don't spend more than three months of your income on the ring. Getting down on one knee is hard to beat. Make sure marriage has been discussed, and you both are ready. The rest can fall in place.

The point is: be original! Propose on President's Day. Do research and find other ideas for proposing. Also, if you insist on people being present, keep the crowd small. A few close friends and family will do. Finally, do not feel it necessary to post the proposal to YouTube. It is a romantic moment, but a private one. Again, go against the grain.

A good, non-clique' proposal can wow that special someone and lead to a wonderful life together. The thought thus really does count.

Yes We're Talking About Love Again

It seems love and relationships are always a popular topic, especially around young adults. Often I will see a blog or podcast and I can predict the topic and outline before even viewing the byline. Heck I have even gotten with the program myself and have been writing more blogs and articles related to love and romance.

The topic couldn't be hotter than right now. Springtime, women showing more skin, more weddings and breakups, and just a sense of overall renewal. Plus, Steve Harvey and his book-turned movie Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man has many folks talking. People in churches, workplace water coolers, barbershops and beauty salons, social media, and social gatherings are talking up love.

This is not a bad thing either. Most all of us may not desire marriage or a relationship. But many do desire companionship from someone they can be intimate with. Often sex is involved, especially for the men, but nonetheless affection from another person seems to be a cure-all.

Basically everyone between 25-50 can relate. They have been in love, in relationships, are sexually active, have been married, heartbroken, rejected, and simply been active in the game of love. And the game is serious once you're a grown working adult and have more worldly experience and insight. It's a good and easy conversation piece, even moreso than the weather.

Now there are folks, myself included, that prefer to keep portions of their love life private. However, they will still discuss love, sex, dating, attractions, marriage, and divorce at length.

It's honestly an awesome feeling to be in love and in like. I truly believe you must like a person first before you can love them. The feeling is also awesome when they feel the same way and then you begin discussing, well, love and other subjects and explore dating options.

Now when the relationship doesn't last and breakups and heartbreaks come, that's even worse. It was still good to love and be loved. However misery loves company. Also, with a divorce rate of over 50%, rejection and heartbreak are subtopics of love and relationships.

Love has been around since the beginning of time with Adam and Eve, and its not going anywhere. We may not admit it, but we do like companionship, and seeing other folks in happy relationships. 

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

Basic etiquette for events, parties, etc

*DISCLAIMER* I am not a party or event planner. But based on my past experiences as an RA in college, having uncles that have ran clubs and bars, and being friends with and helping event planners and promoters, I do have some insight.

I'm doing my best to be tactful and not step on any toes. I just like to see events ran smoothly.

Many parties, socials, cookouts, weddings, etc, are taking place right now. You have white parties, swimsuit contests, car shows, and the like. Here are some rules of etiquette to follow so that your guests feel more welcome and will always support your endeavors.

- Begin on time. C'mon black people, let's cut the CP time crap. It's merely an excuse. An adult function should be able to start on time, period. Don't wait around on special folks to make an entrance or you may lose your crowd.

- Advertise early, often, and effectively

This especially applies if its a birthday party, wedding, or other extraordinary event. These events should be planned and promoted preferably 2 weeks to a month in advance. Also, give people a reason/purpose to be there. If its a birthday, indicate that its a milestone age, like 21, 25, 30. Additionally, be sure to highlight that its a going away party, send off, or even a welcome home. You want people to show up, and cannot assume that folks will just do so.

- Give brief but pertinent details via invite, evite, website, etc

Specify and provide every cost (admission, drinks, coat check, VIP, parking) Give an exact address and even say where its near. We're in the GPS era, but that info is still valuable and necessary. Also, provide contact info such as your phone number, email, FB/Twitter, and a contact # for the venue.

- Choose an affordable but appropriate venue

It's not necessary to choose the Westin when Allure will suffice. Also, choose your VIP area carefully. It should be merely a room or section. An entire floor or building is unnecessary and pompous unless its the President, Michael Jordan, LeBron James, or another notable celebrity. We are all special but be humble and don't ostracize your guests.

- Be prepared for the worst and to offer refunds

If not refunds, at least another free party and/or free food and drinks within 30 days of the failed event. A written apology is also necessary.

-Make sure the heating/AC is working adequately.

Self-explanatory but plan in advance for this.

-Make sure everyone is having a good time, and has had enough to eat and drink.

Even if food and beverages are free, don't be stingy. Let your people induldge, and have 3-4 times what you expect to have. Also, being friendly, courteous, and cordial is expected. You must be a good host/hostess, proving that your guests aren't just dollar signs. Treat then like people.

-Use PayPal for advance ticket sales.

Very convenient, effective, and clears up a lot of confusion about admission, VIP, etc

-Send your thanks to everyone for coming out no later than 3 days following the event.

-Listen to constructive feedback, and continue improving your events.

We're all human, so some mistakes are okay and acceptable. Just strive to rise above these and improve.

-Also, just have fun, enjoy your guests, and make them drool in anticipation over your next event.

Reputation precedes us, so keep everything positive. You will then always have folks flocking to your parties.

These are simply basics. Stick to these, and you're already on the right foot!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

Love and marriage, love and marriage

Many of you know how the theme song to the hit TV show "Married With Children" goes. And there is a lot of truth behind that song. There are too many folks that believe you need money, the perfect wedding, the right house, etc, etc, to be married. They're updating their page daily on www.theknot.com, carefully planning every detail of the BIG day. That all is fine and dandy, but what about love?

It seems songwriter, musical artists, authors, etc will never run out of material to write about as long as love and marriage stays the way it currently is. This is officially the beginning of spring, and often when many weddings occur. I've already attended one wedding this year, and set to attend 4 more, one of which I will be a groomsman. I can say that these weddings include couples who are in love and are getting hitched for the right reasons. That's not always the case, however.

Marriage just isn't valued as it once was decades ago. It seems now soo many couples want to keep up with the Joneses and care more about the wedding than the marriage itself. I'm not saying the wedding shouldn't be a special, joyous occasion. You shouldn't need to go broke or deep in debt for that perfect day and/or honeymoon. Be reasonable and focus on the life that's being built.

There are two well-known statistics regarding marriage. Nearly 50% of them end in divorce. Also, nearly 50% of black women will go through their lifetime without getting married. Those are scary stats, especially if you're a black woman. Such stats have prompted guys to compile lists saying why black women aren't married. One of my friends and classmates (whom is a successful, intelligent, black woman herself) fired back with her own reasons why men aren't married. I have to say there was a lot of merit in both notes.

Now I'm 32, never been married, and I have no kids. And here's why. First of all, I didn't feel I was mentally, financially, or spiritually ready to be a husband in my 20s. I was kind of sheltered as a teen and in my early 20s, not dating very often. I wanted to get those experiences first. Next, I have yet to meet the woman that completes me that feels the same way. I feel I am an attractive man, inside and out. However, I seem to attract women that I cannot foresee a future with. Lastly, I still have some growing to do, especially when it comes to love. I'm still not ready to settle down just yet, but I'm getting closer by the day. That could be as a result of reason #2.

I do know this: when I do say "I do" I want it to be forever. I want a lady that completes me, is perfect for me, is my best friend, accepts me for who I am, and that I'm completely in love with. That day will come I know. Until then, I will wait patiently and watch and learn from the mistakes of others who didn't take marriage (or love) seriously enough.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7