Debbie Lanier's Life and Times: Part 12: Seven On Your Side

Many of you know my mom was old fashioned and set in her ways on some aspects. Despite having a smartphone and high speed internet, she still watched the news and weather on TV several times/day. Her channel of choice was WSPA Seven On Your Side out of Spartanburg, SC. We had watched it as a family for decades and some of the cast were lifers. You aren't tuning it to just any news station, it was like spending time with family.

You knew their names, personalities, families, etc (The Amy Wood controversy is still up in the air) but that was her station. From June to just the other day, DIRECTV and CBS had a conflict dispute and the channel didn't air for months. There are other avenues but definitely another void for me. It would have been a huge void for my mom. I remember how in 2019 I had to go out and get an antenna box, ensure she had the app, etc. 

I saw in a grief group last week that doing things that your loved one loved was like spending the day with her. Watching Seven on your Side this weekend and seeing the familiar faces deliver the news, weather and sports was like spending time with my mom again. That's something I really needed and she knew that from above also. 

Debbie definitely had her ways but she knew what she liked and never settled. I'm glad we could share that part and ease my pain. 

Debbie Lanier's Life and Times: Part 11: The Creek and The Fair

Fall is around the corner and summer is ending. This was the period that my mom took us places the most. Two of those that were tradition were the local creek and the Cleveland County Fair. And guess what? I still go to both as an adult,  may go to the creek later on today. 

Debbie simply loved Kings Creek: the place and the actual creek. When were younger, it was all about Burnt Mills and the curb near the Kings Creek bridge. She would take us there around early afternoon and we would stay all day like we were at a waterpark. I remember being in the water so long I would have wrinkles on my fingers. We used to ride home sitting on towels so as not to destroy the seats of the car. 

The fair was another all day event. We would get armbands and ride all afternoon into the night.  Debbie understood the fair was best enjoyed at night but Saturday was usually when we went. We would eat twice also. 

Present day, I love going to Burnt Mills as it's a relaxing, family friendly atmosphere close to home with lots of nostalgia. I still go to the fair also but I no longer ride anything. I simply eat all sorts of unhealthy, fried foods and cleanse the day after. 

I'm so glad my mom started these small traditions. Now I feel like I'm spending the day with her whenever I partake and keep not only the tradition alive but also her spirit. 

Debbie Lanier's Life and Times: Part 10: Little Known Facts

Debbie Lanier was basically a what you see what you get type of a person. However she had many positive traits and characteristics only a few knew about: 

She loved chocolate, chocolate anything. 

You didn't mess around in her kitchen while she was cooking

She didn't leave the house nor go to bed with a dirty house. 

She loved the creek and the fair (full future installment)

She didn't like funeral after parties (and was vocal about that shortly after her own funeral) 

She didn't like sports but knew of and about the big stars. 

She loved photography and although she had a high quality smartphone, wanted a high quality camera

Debbie liked her THC but wasn't crazy about alcohol. 

Mom had to have a home cooked Sunday dinner every Sunday

She didn't like cheese, especially on a burger

She wasn't much of a reader and long paragraphs would cause her to wonder. 

She wore some of the same clothes for 20+ years because they fit well and she never was big on style 

Mom would melt candy bars with her cigarette lighter although the microwave was nearby

Debbie Lanier's Life and Times: Part 9: The Grass

Ok before anyone starts, this isn't for my mom's love for cannabis or advocacy. That's another post in this chronicle. She loved for her yard to be freshly cut on the regular. 

My mom was able to step away from the workforce at age 47 but stayed busy doing other things. One of those was keeping up her yard. She had a push mower, riding mower and weed eater. She did it all herself once she divorced her husband until she suffered her leg and ankle injury in 2013. 

Debbie had very high standards for how low and neat she wanted the lawn. She really wanted it cut weekly but I work full time and I didn't have it in my budget to pay anyone weekly. I would set aside time to cut it biweekly. If I couldn't get to it due to time nor weather, I would pay one of few lawn folks I trusted. 

I really started taking pride of the yard and recently gained the capacity to get it cut regularly.  There is a peace and pride of being in your own yard and keeping it cut the way you want it. My mom got that and was hence more critical when the yard didn't look emaculate.  I cut my own yard earlier but the hot day and short evening caught up to me so I'll have to finish on tomorrow. 

Thinking back, it's hard to believe my mom did this for so long with often only the pushmower since the riding mower stayed broken. That's who she was: highly independent and determined. You can stay I got that part honest.  She enjoyed being outside also in the summer heat.

Debbie Lanier's Life and Times: Part 8: Back To School

My mom wanted us around so much that she hated when back to school time came annually. 

Debbie's school experience wasn't favorable and she didn't like school. However she wanted us to attend and finish. The first day wasn't her favorite though. She cried every year on the first day for me and my brother. She was a mom that truly enjoyed summer and those memories we made at home, the creek, or wherever. 

Looking back, I think that was another reason she was so involved at the school. She wanted to stay as close as she could to us. I still don't see why she didn't become a support staff member although back then education or lack thereof was a barrier. Plus she worked in textiles and that paid way better. Nonetheless she was there. 

Debbie couldn't get why parents wanted rid of their kids or didn't want them around the house. The more involved my brother and I got, the sadder she became. She liked that we were good kids, had friends and all. She said she liked the simpler times when she could watch us all the time and play with us. 

My mom just had so much love for all around her and wanted those closest to her around her. She said when my brother got into his partying phase, she didn't mind that his friends were into the home because she could prevent trouble easier. That's another story for another day though.

Debbie Lanier's Life and Times: Birthdays

Many of you know how seriously I take my birthday and upset I can get when it's forgotten. That's due to one person: Debbie Lanier. 

She reversed the narrative and ended the cycle by taking not only mine and my brother's birthdays so seriously: she did the same towards anyone around. Especially if it were a child. My mom would at least bake a cake and cook a meal of your choice or even give you money. Debbie truly had a big heart and wanted you to have a special day. 

My mom didn't have the milestone celebrations at 18, 21, etc. I did throw her a 50th and she didn't want a 60th nor 65th. She made sure our birthdays were celebrated, even if all she gave was a cake, card and money/dinner. I've found all sorts of blank birthday cards in her things. She was ready! 

Now she would say I'm doing too much when I would get sad and mad about folks forgetting my birthday. My thing is my birthday shouldn't be hard to forget and if we're cool, why not remember? My mom did it to me y'all! I now keep another part of her legacy alive and remember and celebrate birthdays. 

Her brother, my uncle, realizes this also. He never forgot my birthday, even in prison, and made sure I had a great day. I'm grateful that my birthday was a priority because everyday is truly a gift! 

Debbie Lanier's Life and Times: Volume 7: Comedies

I'm back after two weeks of celebrating independence and life! 

Debbie's form of happiness was watching comedies and often over and over. She said she liked to laugh and it gave her a sense of peace. She wasn't with dramas and tearjerkers. 

Her favorite the final ten years of her life was Roseanne. When Roseanne returned to the air and she was temporarily blacklisted, I bought my mom the box set. Debbie would watch those episodes daily on repeat, DVD or TV. She also loved Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond, Reba, Mike and Molly, King Of Queens, Frazier, Becker, Everybody Hates Chris and many others. Comedic sitcoms were her safe space and kept her at ease. 

My mom and I shared a great love for these shows over the years and watching/rewatching these shows keeps that part of her alive.