The D-List: Being Put On The Back Burner By Others

This is the season for parties and gatherings of a different kind. This week begins Halloween festivities, parties where women everywhere get that free pass to dress scantilly clad and not be judged for it. There are also Christmas parties of various types, college homecomings, mixers, even reunions and fall weddings.

My point I'm making here is that people that coordinate these functions compile a guest list. You have your V.I.P.s, your best friends, family, closest acquaintances and colleagues. Then you have those that may or may not be notified via invitation, or may not be welcome. They are often blacklisted, or even put on the D-list. Now no one wants to be on this list.

Here's a clarification of The D-List for anyone that may be lost. It is compared to actors and actresses. The A and even B list actors get all the major starring roles in television shows and movies, the highest salaries, and their lives are closely scrutinized. They are at the top of their game. D-list actors are often resorted to taking cameo roles, character actors, and even voiceovers. Their appeal and popularity has waned. Not many people care to see them anymore.

We have those individuals, or even groups, that are on our D-lists. Everyone has one, whether or not you realize it. Prime example: go through your list of Facebook friends, or better yet your contacts in your phone. Those that you barely talk to or haven't spoken with in months, let along hang out with, may be on your D-List.

Here's both sides of the coin with this topic. Some folks that treat you badly, are parasitic, and simply are not that important in your life, typically comprise your D-List. They need to often be there, and kept at a distance. However, you should not put someone on there that's been loyal to you, has had your back when others have turned theirs, and have simply treated you like royalty. I want you to think for a second. Being on the D-List of someone you care about is equal to being the child who eats alone everyday at school lunchtime, the child who is always picked last for gym class, the loner with virtually no friends that never parties or goes out because no one invites them. They never went to prom in high school due to being on the D-list of certain kids in high school. That can be a painful feeling, especially when you thought you had friends that cared about you.

Recently I heard a profound quote "I don't have enemies; I have friends and people I don't know.". When you're on someone's back burner, or out of their mind (and vice versa), its as if they are a stranger to you. Therefore, they shouldn't matter to you. Keep it moving because others do care and value your time.

You may be trash to one person, but.treasure to someone else. You can't win over everybody, but you should act the way you want to be treated. Be the friend and relative that you want to have. There is no guarantee you won't get shunned, but at least you're treating folks proper.

It's hurtful, plain and simple, to feel insignificant. No one deserves to feel this way, and often it can be unintentional. Therefore, when evaluating your close circle of friends, choose carefully. You definitely want friends, not people that you don't know because they have changed and are impossible to get to know. You want to know that you're valued in their lives, and the feeling is reciprocated.

Therefore, crashing parties isn't necessary. Find folks that enjoy your company and you click with. Forget those that cast you aside. Love them, forgive them, but put them on your personal D-list and leave it at that.

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Gwendolyn Galmon: A Story of Physical and Personal Transformation

Personal change and transition is rarely easy. Anything worth having in life requires hard work, time, and effort. Gaffney resident Gwendolyn Galmon definitely realizes this. She applied these and many other principles to achieve her weight loss goals.

Gwendolyn is the latest face of Your Best Body Fitness Center and Day Spa here in Gaffney, appearing in their ads in the Weekly Ledger and also in the Gaffney Ledger. I decided to profile Mrs. Galmon and do a feature on her since I also work out at Your Best Body, know her personally,  and have witnessed some of her weight loss firsthand.

The ads currently state she has lost 108 pounds. She is actually down 112 at press time as her metabolism continues to work at a rapid pace. Galmon began this mission about a year ago when she learned she was going to be a grandmother. It was a reality check for Gwendolyn. She realized she was getting older, and wanted to be healthier and younger in body and mind. According to her "she wanted to get and look younger."

She has been a full time working wife and mother for years. During this time, she found herself losing her personal identity and self. Being the woman of her home was taking so much time and energy, not to mention her job. There did not seem to be enough time for herself. Therefore, Gwendolyn realized it was time to take care of her and give what she deserved: a new outlook internally and externally.

Many people that lose weight nowadays rely heavily on pills, gimmicks, and quick fixes. Gwendolyn took the traditional approach: a strict diet and a rigorous exercise regimen. She eats more vegetables with her meals, will eat fruit alone as a snack, and consumes lots of lean protein. This protein includes chicken breast, turkey breast, and ground turkey, and tilapia. No red meat or pork has been a part of her diet.

Some of the things she does far as exercise include going to Your Best Body several times per week concentrating on lots of cardio routines. She works on the elliptical machines and does ZUMBA classes on occasion. 10-15 minutes on certain days are also spent working abs and biceps. Gwendolyn also does a lot of heavy cardio outside of the gym, doing plenty of jogging and bike riding. Her brother bought her a bicycle.  It has been put to good use, including participation in bike rides.  The results for Mrs. Galmon have been nothing short of amazing.   

Gwendolyn has also found assistance and guidance through reading the book "17 Day Diet" by Dr. Mike Moreno. She highly recommends this book for anyone. This book can be found at Wal-Mart and Amazon, and is also available to download to your preferred e-reader.

This is a lady that has definitely won the battle of the bulge and defeated her inner demons as well.  She has also more of an outer glow about herself. Gwendolyn says that now that she feels comfortable with herself physically and financially, she is going to work on improving herself spiritually through her faith and journey with the Lord. I'm confident that she will succeed there as well.

People like Gwendolyn show and remind us that goals and advancements are achievable and worth the hard work. The key of course is the work and the effort. Many aren't willing to go that extra mile, to keep pushing regardless of obstacles. Mrs. Gwendolyn Galmon has done just that. This woman now stands as an inspiration and living proof for success in fitness, family, and life, and continuously striving for personal growth and development.

 

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Crutches In Life

Co-dependency can be a huge problem. Don't get me wrong, we all need a helping hand sometimes. But at some point, no one is going to hold your hand all the time.

We like to use many people, things, and circumstances as crutches or excuses. We use our family, spouses, friends, even the Lord. There are folks that even use public figures, celebrities and the slowly recovering economy as a crutch. It's not always a pretty sight.

People often get criticized and ridiculed for being lazy and/or not being independent enough. However, when you take advantage of something and you can't stand on your own two feet mentally, it's really serious and crucial.

Heck cell phones are even a crutch, and probably the latest and biggest one. Before no one could simply go without one. Now everywhere you go: malls, social gatherings, sporting events and restaurants, people are overly dependent on their mobile devices. It's their alarm clock, camera, computer, music player, day planner, their whole lives basically. Google and Apple continue to manufacture phones that keep users hooked. Currently people feel they have to get the iPhone 5 at some point. To me, that's a crutch if you don't have any other alternatives, and it can become dangerous.

Once again, we all need aids and help sometime. But if you can't be your own person, stand for something, make important decisions and judgment calls, you have maturing to do.

Unfortunately, too many people never grow out of this funk of co-dependency. It all starts with the person's mentality. One must wake up, smell the coffee, and realize that life is real and they gotta get real also.

One should be grateful that they have the tools and gifts where they do not have to be completely reliant on some type of crutch. The Good Lord giveth and taketh. Consequently, he can take something precious from you if its in his plan. One must remember that not every is guaranteed or lasts forever. Cherish what you have, before it becomes what you had.

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Seven Vices other than drugs and alcohol

Many know I don't smoke, drink, or take recreational drugs. This prompted an ex-girlfriend a few years back to ask me what my vice was. A vice is like an addiction, except it is not always dangerous I have a couple actually, as many of us do.

Here are seven of these such vices that exist.

1. Unhealthy food and drinks

People are consuming more of these now that the weather is cooler. Tasty sweet foods, desserts, buffets, and sodas are just some of the things that many crave. They also cannot do without them. That sugar rush has said to be equivalent to the type of rush crack addicts get. That sounds a little scary to me.

2. Social media

This is personally one of my biggest vices. Heck I have blogged about it on occasion. Currently Facebook and Twitter are the ones that are hot that have been around for so long. Now you have the two newcomers Instagram and Pinterest keeping the social media craze alive. People love to take photos, and they want to capture every moment via Instagram. Pinterest is good for photos, showcasing your interests, and putting certain items in a scrapbook type format. Many folks spend countless hours on some sort of social networking site and apps. It's a self-expression for them.

3. Entertainment (television, music, movies).

These forms of entertainment are good ways to escape from your normal life and to unwind. Television keeps a person's attention, whether be a football game, a suspenseful drama, the political debates, or a reality show. Music is the universal language, and has really become enhanced thanks to iTunes and Pandora. You can listen to music of all times virtually anywhere. Movies are cheap to rent and stream thanks to Netflix and Redbox. Then you have film buffs such as I than enjoy catching a movie at least once per week.

4. Sex

Sex is one of the greatest ways to express your love and affection for someone else. You see sex everywhere now, including in some of the previously mentioned vices. There are those that love it that much. You even have sex addicts or "nymphos”. They can't get enough of it.

5. Gambling

Gambling is one of the more dangerous of the vices I'm listing. Yes even the education lottery is gambling. Vegas, Atlantic City, and numerous Native American casinos stay in business due to folks being addicted to gambling. It is so serious there is Gamblers Anonymous just like AA and NA. You can ruin your life and the others around you through gambling.

6. Working Out.

Yes as much as I love health and wellness, even working out is a vice. I mentioned a couple of years ago about "The Gym Rat" There is a reason this term is so popular, and that is because these people spent so much time in the gym seven days/week, for two and three hours at a time. Your body needs rest to properly recover and even if you're a professional athlete or bodybuilder, you must set a limit. It is awesome to get those stunning results and compliments from others. Nevertheless, you want to be able to enjoy those accolades.

7. Shopping

Women have been known for years for spending hours in the mall, spending hundreds of dollars. Present day, both genders are spending lots of money in various fashions and forms of shopping. Online shopping has become huge, especially with eBay and Amazon, and one can easily spend hours dishing out money. Convenience can make one more apt to do or try something. The explosion of coupons, Groupons, and LivingSocial deals has also made it easier just to shop the day and night away.

So what is your vice, if not drugs and alcohol?

 

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Educating Our Youth Too Soon, Or Not Soon Enough?

I was having a discussion with some mothers and some schoolteachers, some of which are also moms. We were discussing when is it too early to begin starting your child to school, or should there be an age limit. Many said around 2-3, and no later than 5. One said daycares and preschools are trying to force children to grow up too fast. She said the age should be 6 or 7 before they begin school. We're talking about at average to above average intelligence here.

Back in the 1950s-1970s, the earliest you could begin school was typically first grade. It was definitely a progression from the one room schoolhouses like you would see on Little House On The Prairie. Then in the early 80s, more children were beginning kindergarten at age five. By the 90s, daycare facilities were becoming more popular and children were beginning school as early as age three, and four year old kindergartens were the norm. 

Monterossi programs and good daycares now nurture and develop a toddler's mind. There is no more babysitting or sitting a child in the front of the tube with a Spongebob or Wiggles DVD. Age appropriate skills such as ABCs, counting and even handwriting are taught as soon as the child shows the intellect for it, sometimes under two years old.

Personally, I think it is all fine and good, so long as the child is not being forced to learn. Slowly bringing them along and proper development of their abilities is the best way in my opinion. Many parents want to give their children the best chance to succeed. It is often best for them to learn these proper habits early on in life.

The college landscape and then the workplace are all competitive now. Being the best and the brightest is often a leg up, especially when competing with countries such as China and Russia.

A child can still be a child while learning to read and write early, interact with others, and even learn a skill or talent such as art or music. It does not mean they cannot have fun and play. Playtime and outdoor activities are highly encouraged as many children do not play outside as they once did. Therefore, they are not growing up fast, they are progressing and growing their brains.

Children will be children, and all should be given the best chance to succeed. No Child Left Behind was started with this mindset. Let's not backtrack to the 1950s. Our children are the future, and we have to keep them up with the current trends.

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It's Ok For Guys To Receive Gifts, Right?

Christmas is rapidly approaching, and Wal-Mart is once again doing layaway during the next couple of months. Women receive gifts all the time, especially around Christmas, Valentine's Day, their birthday, and other such holiday. Men, we also receive gifts as well. However, it is not always in the same grand gesture as with women. Not many of us get gifts delivered to our jobs. We rarely receive stuff like jewelry and candy. That being said, does it make us less than men when women give us such presents, or frequent gifts from the heart? I certainly say no it doesn't.

We all have a special woman in our life, even if we are single. It could be your mother. It might be your sister,daughter, or auntie. Could even be a close platonic female friend. Either way, if a woman wants to show their appreciation through cooking your favorite dish, buying your favorite video game, or even a new phone or DVD, allow her to. That doesn't necessarily make you soft or a golddigger. It makes you grateful.

There are many women that like to give as well as receive. Some go overboard and seem creepy. However, their hearts are in the right place. Let that woman appreciate and show her love towards you.

There's not always a catch. Often a simple thank you or being good to her will do. Don't always think females have an agenda when you receive something nice.

Fellas, trust me when I tell you this. When you have a good woman that does these things for you, you best appreciate her. Someone else will if you won't. Look at other's relationships and feel fortunate.

I'm grateful for all that my female relatives and friends, and ex girlfriends have did for me. Most of it I never asked or required of them. They did it and do it because they care. It's always best when its genuine and from the heart.

Men, let these women in your life show their affection towards you. The smallest gift can make the biggest impact. Appreciate the gift, and the thought she put towards it. She did give it to you, and by choice.

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Be Thankful For What You Have Year Round

I heard on a radio show recently that the slogan at the unemployment office should be to be thankful for what you have before it becomes what you had. That got me to thinking, especially for those experiencing hardships and such.

Ok so you don't have the person of your dreams? You're not making six figures. You can't afford or get the iPhone 5 or the Samsung Galaxy III. Heck your phone can't even get Instagram and you're feeling deprived like an unpopular high school student. There are far greater tragedies.

Now think about this: someone died last night and it wasn't you. You are still breathing, you have money coming in, and you have warm food and a roof over your head. You have people that care about you. All of your bodily parts and joints are attached and functional. You have all your senses. There is still good in the world. Basically, there is a lot to be thankful for.

Someone out there may have it better than you, but there is always someone worse off.

 
Watching movies such as It's A Wonderful Life can put life into perspective. One must think how different things would be if they never existed at all. Each of our lives truly has an impact.

Therefore, be thankful for what you have accomplished and the treasures that are available. Just like cheap gas, 99 cent double cheeseburgers, and even job security, they could all be gone in an instant.

 
It seems to have become a common theme on Facebook this month for users to list things they are thankful for leading up to Thanksgiving.  I personally believe this is awesome. This should be done year round, not just for one month. Thanksgiving is over now: so now as the December holidays and the year winds down, its time to remain thankful.  

 
Continue to practice this the next time you spend your evenings listening to sad music and sulking.Trust me; it isn't worth all of the self-pity.

 

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