Preparing For A High School Or A College Reunion

We are still in reunion and Homecoming season for high schools and colleges. You are seeing people that you might not normally see, haven't seen in years, or do not care to see. It's an interesting variety to deal with. Old memories are rekindled. New ones are formed. Nostalgia is in the air.

Here are a few tips that I have found it helpful when preparing for these such occasions.

1. Speak to as many of your classmates as possible weeks and months prior.

Social media makes this easy to do. They can see pictures of you, your family, children, where you live, and what you're up to. This builds the anticipation further.

2. Reminiscence, but try to let bygones be bygones.

If you and someone you regularly speak to have a bad memory or two between y'all, try to let it rest for that time period. Focus on the good times, and moving past that negativity. Enjoy the moment and each other.

3. Don't act bourgie and brand new.

Life may be good at the moment for you. New marriage, successful professional and personal life, and perhaps even a new body as a result of a revamped lifestyle. You have definitely come a long ways since your school days. However be humble and true to who you really are. Don't live your life or act above or below anyone else.

4. Enjoy the company of those who are positive and continue to be this way.

We all remember who has treated us well and has had our backs through thick and then. One should most definitely enjoy hanging around these people. They uplifted you then and now. It's all a unity and loyalty thing and even those that you don't associate with much can be part of this. This is part of what makes Homecomings and reunions special.

5. Avoid confrontations or people that may make you out of character

In short, check the drama at the door. All of that isn't necessary. Many people are different than they were years ago. Evaluate them based on the here and now and if you feel there will be hard feelings, it's best to simply be polite , walk and wave and keep it moving.

6. Stay in touch year round with some of the positive folks.

Many of us already have that circle of friends from social organizations, or from even taking the same classes. However, it never hurts to extend that circles. Make a more concerted effort to get together more often than once/year. Get all of their information and make plans shortly thereafter.

7. Go to as many parties and functions as your energy and wallet allow.

You definitely want to have good clean fun. However don't exert yourself too much physically, emotionally or financially. Many save up for this occasion and take time off from work, which is cool. Just manage it all well and reconnect as much as possible.

Most of all, have fun!

How many class reunions have you attended? Do you regularly attend Homecoming festivities at your school?

The D-List: Being Put On The Back Burner By Others

This is the season for parties and gatherings of a different kind. This week begins Halloween festivities, parties where women everywhere get that free pass to dress scantilly clad and not be judged for it. There are also Christmas parties of various types, college homecomings, mixers, even reunions and fall weddings.

My point I'm making here is that people that coordinate these functions compile a guest list. You have your V.I.P.s, your best friends, family, closest acquaintances and colleagues. Then you have those that may or may not be notified via invitation, or may not be welcome. They are often blacklisted, or even put on the D-list. Now no one wants to be on this list.

Here's a clarification of The D-List for anyone that may be lost. It is compared to actors and actresses. The A and even B list actors get all the major starring roles in television shows and movies, the highest salaries, and their lives are closely scrutinized. They are at the top of their game. D-list actors are often resorted to taking cameo roles, character actors, and even voiceovers. Their appeal and popularity has waned. Not many people care to see them anymore.

We have those individuals, or even groups, that are on our D-lists. Everyone has one, whether or not you realize it. Prime example: go through your list of Facebook friends, or better yet your contacts in your phone. Those that you barely talk to or haven't spoken with in months, let along hang out with, may be on your D-List.

Here's both sides of the coin with this topic. Some folks that treat you badly, are parasitic, and simply are not that important in your life, typically comprise your D-List. They need to often be there, and kept at a distance. However, you should not put someone on there that's been loyal to you, has had your back when others have turned theirs, and have simply treated you like royalty. I want you to think for a second. Being on the D-List of someone you care about is equal to being the child who eats alone everyday at school lunchtime, the child who is always picked last for gym class, the loner with virtually no friends that never parties or goes out because no one invites them. They never went to prom in high school due to being on the D-list of certain kids in high school. That can be a painful feeling, especially when you thought you had friends that cared about you.

Recently I heard a profound quote "I don't have enemies; I have friends and people I don't know.". When you're on someone's back burner, or out of their mind (and vice versa), its as if they are a stranger to you. Therefore, they shouldn't matter to you. Keep it moving because others do care and value your time.

You may be trash to one person, but.treasure to someone else. You can't win over everybody, but you should act the way you want to be treated. Be the friend and relative that you want to have. There is no guarantee you won't get shunned, but at least you're treating folks proper.

It's hurtful, plain and simple, to feel insignificant. No one deserves to feel this way, and often it can be unintentional. Therefore, when evaluating your close circle of friends, choose carefully. You definitely want friends, not people that you don't know because they have changed and are impossible to get to know. You want to know that you're valued in their lives, and the feeling is reciprocated.

Therefore, crashing parties isn't necessary. Find folks that enjoy your company and you click with. Forget those that cast you aside. Love them, forgive them, but put them on your personal D-list and leave it at that.

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