Mothers: Navigating The Tough Times Together

The popular saying is "tough times don't last. Tough people do."  And in my mind, the real mothers of this world are the toughest people on the planet.

That being said, they are still human, emotional and prone to suffering. This is all a part of the journey of dealing with mothers full time.

Mother's Day is often the easiest part for the children and mothers alike. You spend the day with them, shower them with gifts, feed them, and make sure they don't have a care for that entire day.

Ironically, the day after Mother's Day is a Monday, arguably one of the toughest days of the week. It gets real again. Often the mothers realize what hasn't been done, what was floated or put off, and the fact that school is winding down and summer is beginning.

This can be a lot of stress in itself. But then you throw in the perils of life and you have some real challenges ahead.

Don't fret, there are coping mechanisms. One, do more listening than you ever have. Coming off the Mother's Day high is not always smooth. Oftentimes they may not mean what they say the way it comes out. Therefore, listen, be there, and don't feel like you have to be Mighty Mouse and save the day.

Also, proper planning will help. Before all of the Mother's Day or other festivities, make it your priority to diffuse any current and possible stress coming along the horizon. Are her bills good? Does her grass need cutting? How is her car running? Does she have a clean bill of health?  These are some of the issues to be addressed, especially once your mother is older and many of the roles have switched.

So just remember that being the child is not easy either. But you are definitely not alone. Practice lots of patience, stay within your character, take care of what you can and don't concern yourself with what you can't control. Most of all, don't stop showing unconditional love. Your mom didn't during your rough patches and phases and you can't either.

Also, tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start. Call your mother in a couple days, let her do the talking but be ready to help where necessary.

How do you and your mother get along? When the bad times come, what do you do to deal with it all?

Seven Different Types Of Mothers (All Are Special)

I have another series coming up and since it's almost Mother's Day, I thought there was no better time to start this about mothers and some of the different types. I will focus on some of the positive and comical types to keep this post lighthearted and loving. 

1. The Smother

You know her, you've seen her, you may be her. You're overprotective, at the school or wherever in a New York minute to come to your child's rescue. Some may critique you because you won't allow your child to be involved in much and it appears you are sheltering them. However, this is simply your way of showing love and that is not always wrong.

2. The Super-Competitive

This is the mom that not only wants to keep up with the Joneses or be the average sports moms, they encourage and drive their children to be the best at everything they do: school, music, and sports. They may even take this as a reflection of them. They have a competitive, winning power, and they want their kids to have it as well. That being said,...

3. The Soccer Mom

You cannot forget this mom , even minus the minivan or SUV. They are super involved in any and every activity that the child is in. You often think they either work at the school or coach the team because you see them so often. However, they are simply that involved. They also lead every major committee and fundraiser, and often serve as surrogates to the other children.

4. The Neighborhood Mom/Surrogate.

Who remembers back in the 80s and early 90s the mom on the block that always fed you snacks and perhaps even served other parental roles and responsibilities? This type of mom still exists, but is more rare. They took care of their children and kept an eye out for the other kids as well. It was the village mentality, not leaving any child behind.

5.  The Modern Mom

This can be broad but to define "modern" means more innovative, hip, and into the modern times. They have full time careers and activities and balance these and motherhood well. These moms may be the most common as many households are now two income. They may lack flash and flare, but they are still good mothers and get the job done.

6. The Single Mom

I would be remissed (and perhaps disowned by my own mother and several friends and relatives) if I left this one out. It needs very little explanation but it takes independence and modern to another level. They have to play both parental roles, and they may be run down because they have very little help. You better believe this is the toughest job in the world, with seemingly no end in sight. I'm willing to bet the President of the United States has more time on his hands than a single mother.

7. The Best Friend

This is almost impossible and takes lot of work. However, with the proper children and parents, it came become reality, especially as the kids become older. You realize how important your mother is, how much she does care, and that she won't leave you when others have.

I will leave this list at seven and may add more in future series. But as we celebrate Mother's Day, let's celebrate all of their sacrifices. Nine months (give or take a few weeks) in labor, sleepless nights, no break, little to no pay, and still doing it with lots of love and care. Happy Mother's Day to all of the true mother figures!

Misunderstanding Mother's Day and Women

Today was Mother's Day, a rightful and appropriate homage to mothers and mother figures everywhere.  Many of you know I'm very grateful for my mother. I show this love and appreciation not only on this day, but everyday. I feel most children do. However,  you always have those that use this day to showcase what great children they are, when they barely honor or talk to their mothers.

Sorry if this blurb is taking a dark turn. I'm mostly going on the commercial and social side. 

Mother's Day is a common holiday, and very commercial and misunderstood. Businesses,  especially restaurants, florists and card companies, all capitalize on folks showing their mothers all this love for one day. Back before cell phones were popular,  the long distance companies use to make a good grip from calls made on this holiday.

Now I don't think Mother's Day is yet ruined or over commercialized like Christmas or even Valentine's Day. I believe often we miss the forest for the trees. It's about giving moms that special day, among many days. There is little argument that they deserve it. We just can't forget the true meaning of the holiday: showing love to your mother.  This doesn't always mean buying her the most expensive gift,  taking her to the best restaurant, getting her the best deals in packages and gifts available. 

The bottom line is your mother must know she is loved, and regularly.  Women need that appreciation and validation,  especially for all of the thankless tasks they do for others. However,  don't let it be a competition as to who is treating their mother better, or whom loves their mom the most. You love her,  she knows it, and you show it regularly.  That is what truly matters.

I have a very simple mom. I always make sure she has a nice gift,  a card, and doesn't have to cook for herself or others on that day. I ask her what SHE wants,  not what I want to get her, and I deliver. One must be in tune with their mom, wife, grandma, etc.  Please her on this day, and everyday.

The bottom line is this holiday should be used to show your own interpretation of love between you and your mother,  NOT what society, social media, and commercials tell you. This may be a grand gesture,  this may be a small one. Either way, it should be unique and fitting for the mother.

That being said, Happy Mother's Day to my mom, Debbie Lanier, and all moms! Here's hoping that you the love you displayed,  the gifts and such you bought, were all from the heart and what she wanted.  That is truly honoring the motherly women in your lives.

Seven Nifty Father's Day Gift Ideas

Father's Day is coming soon. Many buy their fathers and father figures a variety of gifts. The most common are dinner, ties, and even pipes, tools or other male things. Here are seven nice ideas for gifts to give to your fathers.

1. Grill/Smoker

There is very little question that men like to grill, especially around this time of year. This is a gift that works especially well if you have a few siblings. You can pitch in and buy him something nice to grill on. Better yet, buy a smoker to add on to his current grill. He can then have more versatility when cooking for larger crowds.

2. Wallet

Inexpensive, yes, but hard to go wrong with. All men need a good wallet, and its often hard for them to let go of their old, reliable one. You can help make this decision easy for him with a nice, leather wallet.

3. Blu-Ray Player

These are becoming more popular and have basically replaced DVD players. Best of all, regular DVDs can be played on this platform. Therefore, your father can play their favorite classic DVDs, and the latest ones in HD. He deserves it.

4. Car detail.

Yes your father can probably wash and detail his own vehicle, just as your mother can cook and clean house. However, your dad deserves a break with a top notch detail job. Many folks like to detail cars as a side hustle. Purchasing a car detail for your father can essentially kill two birds with one stone.

5. Weed eater.

It seems many families, or men, do not have a weed eater in their garden tool collection. You can change this. This way, your daddy doesn't have to depend on a neighbor or relative to trim the hedges or perfect the lawn.

6. Cologne/Body Wash kit with nose hair clippers and facial hair clippers

I must admit, this gift here is one I would love to have for any occasion. It is an all purpose gift, straying away from your father's favorite bottle of cologne. Plus many stores, such as Wal-Mart and Walgreens, are selling them right now for $30 or less.

7.  Sporting event tickets

Baseball and NASCAR are still in full swing, and football will be beginning soon. Make that investment and buy dad single game, or even season tickets, to see his favorite team play. It is intriguing, for example, how many Dallas Cowboys and Chicago White Sox fans have never seen their teams play in person. I'm sure many fathers would appreciate this gift.

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