Wow we're halfway through the year, which means it's time for us to look back at 2014 thus far at the ignorance that has happened and continues to happen regularly. I believe many look at my list and use it as a way to stay revelant.
Repeat Offenders (like Kobe, OJ, DMX)
- George Zimmerman. How do you get off with that unjust murder, yet you're still causing trouble. I secretly want DMX to beat the brakes off of you
- DMX. You officially have your own award, as you always appear on my lists. Staying in trouble, and now wanting to fight Zimmerman in a celebrity death match. Will you repeat again and win your own award in December?
- The unjust and unfair award: The U.S. Justice System (specifically Florida). It seems this state is desperate to kill black folks and prosecute them at every end. You're trying to outdo Chicago and Detroit.
- The "winner"- Charlie Sheen. You're back into trouble with drugs and hookers, and you're about to be kicked off yet another sitcom. Since Two and a Half Men is getting canceled, will Ashton Kutcher replace you on Anger Management also? #QTNA
- The Dirty Butt- Miley Cyrus. You simply cannot clean up your image. Will it take a full Brittany meltdown before you grow up?
- National Disaster- The BP Oil Spill. Really? Again? How does this keep happening? No wonder gas prices can't stay low, we're wasting half of it
-OJ- You have won your own award. Please stop causing trouble already, take your medicine and serve your sentence. It's been 20 years already!
Newbies
-Crazy basketball star- Dennis Rodman. You are not a world peace leader, so why did you keep going to North Korea? You're about to get deported.
- Arrogant football player- Richard Sherman. Congrats dude, this has been your year. Super Bowl champion, mouthing off in interviews, and now the cover of the newest Madden. I'm awaiting a lot of cheap shots on you this year.
- Cute celebrity gone wild- Justin Bieber. Jesus Christ, did anyone see this coming? We're about to send you and Drake back to Canada.
- Horny high school employees. Yes I know the students now look like grown adults. But can't you all control your hormones and remember you have a job to do?
- Marcus Smart- Now that you're in the NBA and on the Celtics, I hope you will not be harassing fans anymore.
-Abusive football player: Ray Rice. You're going to have to keep that temper on the gridiron before you get cut or traded. Remember Lawrence Phillips?
- Nick Saban - You want the entire game catered to you now, really? You're already making a misstep letting Lane Kiffin lead your offense.
- Government rant- websites. They have proven to be the worst. As a tech junkie, I believe the government should scour computer science departments nationwide and let these students do the work for you. They receive Co-op credit, work experience, and even free pizza during this time.
- Retail rant- Publix. You have become one of the fastest growing supermarket chains around. But how can you not keep bread in your deli? That's like Chick Fil-A saying they have ran out of chicken.
- Sports scandal- Michael Pineda and the Pine Tar gate? Why would you cheat like that, or at all? That's the type of thing you do during the World Series
- Burger Kings. The 2 for $5 doesn't seem to be all it's cracked up to be. You don't seem to properly staff your restaurants to handle the crowds, or keep the food made.
- Don Imus award- Donald Sterling. We always seem to have an ignorant racist every year and this year's is old Don!
- Too Much- Excess Graduations. Outside of head start, middle school, and high school, there shouldn't be a graduation ceremony every time a child passes a grade or changes school. Less is more.
- World Cup gangsta- Suarez. You just couldn't keep your teeth to yourself. But hey it's goons like yourself that make me actually watch soccer.
- Dr. Phil know-it-all - Dr. Oz. You do not know everything Doc, so stop trying to convince the world that you do. You even have my favorite advice advocate, John Tesh, on your side. Sit down somewhere please.
- Dumb FB game- these ridiculous challenges. I sit and wonder what foolery will be next.
- Corporate rant- Carmike Cinemas Seven. You guys need to renovate that place, especially the A/C, and hire someone under 100 years old. The end.
Well that's all until December. What else will 2014 bring? This is a local election year so I'm sure we're in store for plenty more.
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