2013 is basically done, and with that, here is the End Year Cowbell List. Long time, loyal readers of my blog know how it goes. It is the bad, ugly and worst from this year since July. My list of repeat offenders continues to get shorter. Beyoncé and Kobe Bryant, congratulations, you stayed off my list this time. Continue to do so in 2014 and beyond.
Repeat Offenders:
U.S. Justice System: It continues to fail us in many ways, especially depending upon where you live. I don't think I want to move to Florida or Texas now.
Kanye West: Dude you are about to receive your own personal award. Why would you release that type of horrible album? It appears someone stays caught up in their feelings.
Royal Family: Why must we continue to care if Prince William and Kate had a baby, and what his name is? I'm glad I don't live in England either.
DMX: OK why have you not been deported yet? I realize you are a troubled human being, but you do not need to be around the general population at the moment.
Atlanta Braves: All of those offseason moves, dominating the regular season, and still choking in the playoffs. You are the Minnesota Vikings of the MLB.
Suh: You are now worse than Albert Haynesworth. I sincerely believe after the Lions fire your head coach, Jim Schwartz, they should release you next.
VH-1: Your awful programming continues, and even your best movies have casting flaws. KeKe Palmer as Chilli, and Evan Ross as Dallas Austin? Do better VH-1.
Newbies:
Amanda Bynes: Yes you have made amends for your poor behavior. But you must continue to act well before you start a dangerous trend.
Miley Cyrus: Not much to say that hasn't already been said. Just please put on some clothes, stop acting like a whore, and seek Jesus.
Wild Wings: You guys were already overrated, and now I'm done with your mediocre wings and awful customer service.
Yahoo! Mail: What's up with your inability to keep your mail secure and site and apps fully functional? Many have already switched to Gmail. Perhaps you should get it together before you become irrevelant like Hotmail or AOL.
School fundraisers: Please schools, STOP pimping these children to raise money to make your school better. Their job is to learn. And if any parent thinks that selling candy, doughnuts and poinsettias is going to send your child to DisneyWorld or DC, you need a reality check.
Congress and the federal government: You need to stop your childish bickering and come together as a nation again. Forget about party affiliation, race, class, and the leader of the free world and think of the American people, for once. China already basically owns us.
A-Rod: Apparently too many athletes think they're invincible and above the law. You may not play baseball again, or be enshrined into Cooperstown.
Riley Cooper: When you cannot control your liquor and your inner demons, you should stay inside and be quiet. It appears to be a Florida Gators curse. I hope Joe Haden isn't next.
George Zimmerman: You are pulling an OJ. You got off with one of the most unjust murders of our era and you still can't stay out of trouble. You should take DMX and hide out for good.
All of football: The game has attempted to become safer at all levels. It has become softer and less competitive. A balance needs to be struck.
Miami Dolphins: There is no good reason why an NFL locker room should get this bad, this fast. You lost two key players, which could have helped you make the playoffs.
President Barack Obama: Mr. POTUS, I still support you. But you cannot be taking silly selfies with another woman, while your wife sits by in disgust. You appear to have a good marriage so don't ruin it now.
Jason Kidd: Really Jason? You arguably had the worst cover-up of 2013. It's like you're asking David Stern to fire you.
Kandi Burress: You will never be able to keep a good, decent man like Todd if you don't stand up to your mother. You're in your late 30s, put on the big girl panties and grow up.
Peaches (TLC's first manager). Ok you haven't been revelant since gas was $1/gallon. Now you want to try and bash TLC as they're making a comeback and sue people? Give me a break! Please return to the cave you crawled out from under.
3-D Movies: OK this is completely out of hand now. Every single movie does not look better in 3-D!
Turn Up: This is one expression that I hope leaves with 2013, and goes in the graveyard with swag, real talk, and all of those other whack sayings.
Happy New Year to you all and thanks for reading my work every week!
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