Remember your first time having sex? Or have you yet to experience that first time, special moment in a person's life (rite of passage if you will for any adult, and some children unfortunately). It seems that remaining a virgin and waiting does not hold as much clout and importance as it once did. Now in our sex-crazed, Generation Z world, being a virgin does not seem good at all. It paints you as a Jesus-freak, a loser, and just as being inexperienced. Really???
There is increased pressure on folks to lose their virginity, especially once they become a teenager. Madonna even made a song about it in the 80s' "Like A Virgin" Never mind the dangers of STDs such as AIDS and herpes or early teenage pregnancy. For guys, it's a badge of honor, makes them look cool when they lose their virginity early on in life. For girls, it makes them appear trampy and whoreish in nature. However, many girls will give up their virginity early just so a certain guy (or guys) will like them and continue to date them. Both instances are ultimately self-esteem driven.
I just watched the teen movie "Easy A" starring Emma Stone who also played in the comedy classic "Superbad". The story is a spin on the timeless classic "The Scarlet Letter" where a young lady was chastised for losing her virginity, becoming pregnant, and forced to wear an "A" for "adulterer" stitched to her cllothing. Instead, the main character, Olive Penderghast (Stone), fakes that she loses her virginity to an older man during the weekend to avoid spending it with her best friend and her "free-spirited" parents. Anyways, they're in the girl's room talking about the fake sexual experience, and one person hears. From there, the entire school knows that Olive has lost her virginity. She then is immediately painted as a skank, especially by the Christian groups. Olive decides to keep the lie going when various guys (gays, foreigners, overweight losers, nerds) approach her with money and gift cards to say that they lost their virginity to her. Her popularity soars, but not in the right way. Basically, Olive embraced the rumors (unlike most teenage girls), and used her virginity as a weapon, rather than a burden. She evens embroiders the letter "A" on all of her clothing. It portrays how even sadder and Hellish it has become to be a teenager in these times.
Many folks don't wanna wait until marriage because they either don't plan on being married anytime soon (if at all) or they want to be more experienced sexually once they meet that "one". Another saying I've heard for years is the analogy to buying a car "You don't buy a car without test driving it first". Therefore, that statement alone prompts many people into having pre-marital coitus.
There's another school of thought on this matter, brought forth by one of my long-time classmates and friends who is currently in seminary. He proudly saved his virginity for marriage, and now has a wonderful marriage of 10 years with two wonderful young sons. Here are a couple of links he provided for me, building the case of how saving your virginity actually can make for lower divorce rates, higher satisfaction in their sexual life, and a stronger maritial union. http://www.livescience.com/culture/delay-sex-makes-better-relationships-101228.html and
http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/2010/09/sexual-partner-divorce-risk.html
However, another person brings a rebuttal here, stating that these studies are skewed and biased, and that saving your virginity for marriage doesn't guarantee marital success and bliss. Here are some links he also shared with me http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/11/lies-damned-lies-and-medical-science/8269/ and http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/news/20061220/premarital-sex-the-norm-in-america
Here's my take on the entire topic. Pre-marital sex is indeed wrong according to the Holy Bible and considered fornication. If you're leading a strong Christian life, one should endeavor to hold on to virginity until marriage. Granted, God will still forgive you if you do not. However, that is not a license to be loose with it (or even to lie about losing it like Olive did in "Easy A"). Regardless, don't EVER be pressured into having sex. Everyone peaks at different times in their lives. I would tell anyone (especially the young folks) that sex is much beter and more satisfying when you actually love that person and it's not a random fling. You may end up regretting it if only lust is involved. Even for guys, one night of passion can often be overrated. Also, use, USE, USE protection. And I mean latex condoms. Birth control pills are not 100% effective, so be as safe as can be. Just take your time. It's really not a race to lose the label "virgin". Just be who you are and don't let others define you.
Sex is truly a beautiful thing, one of the single greatest acts of affection you can show towards a person. Virginity is special also. Whatever decision you make in your lives (or have made and continue to make), be responsible and stand by it 100%. There is no turning back that clock.
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