Debbie Lanier's Life and Tales- Part 3: Her Cars

My mom had quite a few cars in her time, many of them memorable, some annoying, all she put her spin on (dad joke intended). 

Her first car she bought was in the early 70s: her Vega. She loved that car as it was the first one she owned and bought. I can't remember if it were the Vega or the Chevelle but one of her cars had a broken gas meter so she kept gas in it all the time. The Vega had a sad ending as it was totaled in a car accident. My mom was very injured, even got a concussion. Those that know Debbie Lanier the best know two things: she was more worried and crying over losing the Vega and people were trying to keep her awake due to the concussion but she was being stubborn. 

She then got a Chevelle which she had for quite sometime. It was the car she drove when her and my dad dated. She later gave it to my uncle Kenny the year after I was born. 

Mom drove at least two other cars (somehow she always seemed to have a silver/gray car) that I cannot recall. I definitely remember the hot, clunker Granada. It got us around from point A to point B and wherever she took us and any other kid or family member. That was the car (or the one prior) that only had one working radio station. Fortunately that station played everything. We had a lot of good memories in the ole Granada although it stayed in the shop every month. 

She then had the loud and embarrassing Ford Escort (one of two). Myself and my brother loved the hatchback but that muffler was so loud! That was another car that kept us on the side of the road. It was the first one I can remember having a tape deck. 

The Chevrolet Spectrum was next. This car logged a lot of miles between myself and my brother's extracurricular activities and was the first car we had when my mom got her place. It was a good, fun ride and the car that I drove when I was learning to drive. 

The best car hands down besides perhaps the Vega that she had was the Cavalier. It was nearly brand new and lasted almost ten years. That car traveled everywhere and myself and my brother drove it. That was the car I drove to prom that had two separate keys, one for the ignition and one for locking it. That car also moved me in and out during my college days. I have very warm memories of this car. 

Mom then upgraded to two different Escorts and gave the Cavalier to my cousin. The red Escort didn't last long as my brother totaled it. It was just as well: red draws too much attention. She later on got a gray (yes another gray car) one. It didn't run as well as the red one but it lasted eight years. For a year, her and I shared the car and then I drove it until 2008 until giving it to my cousin. 

Her final car was her Toyota Corolla that still runs to this day. She finally found a good car and mechanic plus she had the transmission and engine replaced. This car is currently almost 18 years old. I haven't decided what I'm going to do with it yet aside from driving it short distances but I definitely want to keep it for obvious reasons. 

Debbie Lanier's Life and Tales- Part 2: DEFENSE

I write this second installment of my mom's life as the NFL schedule was recently released and fans are making their plans to attend, tailgate, etc. 

My mom did many things well. One thing that was noted in the town of Blacksburg was how she always defended the underdog: her brother, kids, relatives, nieces and nephews, etc. If Debbie Lanier was in your corner, you had little to worry about. 

Debbie literally had zero fear when it came to defending someone, especially against bullies. Anti-bullying is a part of #imjustdrew and people knew my mom from that alone. She maintained a house, job, lifestyle, etc well while seemingly staying up at the schools off and on for two decades on defending myself and other kids. She would dare a school official to call the police. Debbie knew how to handle a bully: in public. She would call them out after practices, games, at the grocery store. Mom would even chaperone field trips and even show up to Field Day to fuss at kids. She was ahead of her time and knew all the ways to get around talking to a bully without going to jail. And other parents? Yeah bring them on, especially if she went to school with them. Some parents that knew Debbie Lanier were proactive and would tell their kids to not ever mess with me and even defend me if possible. 

Debbie had that lasting effect everywhere: the schools, restaurants, jobs, doctors, hospitals, etc. She truly fought for what she believed in and it brought out the introvert in her. If you wanted to get Debbie Lanier out of her home, tell her someone was bullying one of her kids or a relative. 

I'm thankful and leery at the same time that I now have a 24/7 bodyguard now. I know she's not going to let anything happen to me aside from free will and that gives me lifetime peace. 

Debbie Lanier's Life and Tales: Part 1: Parenthood

This is a series dedicated to my mom and stories of many of the things she loved and enjoyed.  Part 1 will focus on parenthood as she truly enjoyed being a mom and this is close to Mother's Day. 

My mom had several good times, 24 years worth of them prior to giving birth to me, her eldest child. She would often say she felt like her life began when she had me. She had her own child to love, cherish, and mold.

She was known to watch me and other children all the time, especially while sleeping. Many parents look forward to the day when their children can walk, talk, etc. My mom truly enjoyed our infant days the most as she didn't want us to grow up. Even as I my brother and I grew up to be adult men, she wanted us close by. She cherished every moment we had with her. She was the type of mom that looked forward to summer because of the weather and her kids would be at home. She cried everyday of the first day of school because although she worked, she loved having us home in the home she made for us. 

She loved to cook for anybody and everybody. Cooking was definitely her love language, something she did in small forms until she passed. Rarely a Sunday or holiday passed where she didn't have a big meal.  She loved having her cabinets and fridge full so she could fill the stomachs of others with her world famous biscuits, veggies, the meat of choice and her sweet tea. She was simple but put so much love in her meals that is rarely seen. If myself, my brother or anyone requested her to cook something, she would do it. Mom also baked cakes for others, sent food to those in need and always let anyone know if they need a hot meal or a place to stay for a spell they could call on her. 

My mom was truly the neighborhood mom that fought for, loved and advocated for children.  She didn't miss a school event, ball game nor fundraiser. She was a very active parent, one that did it alone for a number of years and made it look easy. Mom didn't use her boys as an excuse to be late or not to come. We were often early after she gave us the rundown on how to behave and what not to touch. She expected us to conduct ourselves properly. 

I don't like to criticize nor condemn parenting styles. It is hard for me not to look at my mom's style and not consider it a blueprint for parenting. She didn't have as much money nor resources as the modern parent. However, we were always clothed and fed, even after school, had a steady home, healthy home life and lots of love. My mom went all in once I was born and exceeded the expectations. She never used us as a crutch nor said we held her back. We were her life and she loved that. I'm blessed that I had that mother in my life and corner. I'm not a father but I would certainly use much of what she taught with my children. 

Happy Mother's Day to my mom and all of the mothers! You all deserve the praise for the sacrifices you have made.

My Mom's Favorite Things

Many of you know that my mom is now in the greatest fight of her life, one she may not win.  God has the final say and we will let Him and her determine this. Meanwhile I will spend the next few weeks of posts honoring her and celebrating different parts and facets of her life. This one includes her favorite things. 

These include: her children, her brother, Roseanne, Seven On Your Side, Judge Judy, birds, cooking (especially biscuits, meatloaf, sweet tea and many other dishes), Everybody Loves Raymond, Seinfeld, shot glasses, animals, fresh Sunbeam bread, the Lord, the Bible, Charles Stanley, Andy Griffith, the 70s and music such as the Bee Gees, Doobie Brothers and Michael Jackson, flowers, cleaning and keeping a neat house and yard, collecting cigarette lighters, marigold plants, CK-1 perfume, Eggo pancakes, shopping at Food Lion and Dollar General, fish and fish camps, a well done steak, a good hamburger (no cheese), chocolate, chocolate chip cookies, arguing with others and defending family and children, babies, miniatures (what nots), Bruce Lee, keychains, Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang, 

STARS: How I Built Up #ImJustDrew

The weekend was not only one to celebrate resurrection but to also celebrate the 7 year anniversary of #imjustdrew. 

7 years ago, I didn't think I would create a brand that has been sustainable and part of my identity. 

I simply wanted to help bring folks together and showcasing the power of networking. Also I wanted anyone and everyone to see that if a shy, stuttering, overweight, country boy from Kings Creek could do it, it's doable by most anyone else. 

I formed a second blog post on WordPress separate from my world of random knowledge and information. I would do vlogs that later became FB live videos a couple of times/week. I then expanded my brand in 2017 by writing and publishing my first book "From Darkness to Sunshine: Making Unlimited Friends and Connections". I then changed up the brand, mission and vision as COVID began. I began focusing more on the human side and treatment of humans through social inclusion and excision, social justice, police brutality, and mental health. I learned a long time ago with any business and/or brand you either evolve or cease to exist. 

I also now have a weekly podcast on Spotify, #imjustdrew podcast discussing many topics related to these cornerstones of the brand and movement. 

By the numbers, with over 300 book sales, an average of 120 listeners per vlog and live, and 260 listens on the podcast, I would say #imjustdrew has quietly made its mark and will continue to do so. I will continue to adjust year over year and celebrate each milestone.

STARS: How I Decreased Stress In the WorkPlace Over a Decade Ago

I definitely get having to work to support your family and many environments will be stressful and hectic. One must have time and stress management skills. I absolutely put these to work when I was in a toxic situation that I needed to get out of. Names will be omitted but this was at the end of my 12 year stretch with the Robert Allen group. 

I identified the department I ultimately wanted to work in and the managers (buffers) I wanted to be around. They would treat me like human beings and give positive vibes. I had to keep my nose clean behavioral wise and at the same time keep my eyes out for anything that I could document and report to HR.  I simply had to wait for my moment for something to open up there or outside of the company. I had already taken a huge paycut and I knew what amount I needed to make to sustain a living wage. 

I had my opportunity come and I interviewed for the position and job I wanted and I was immediately given an offer. It was going to be a position in which I would not be unfairly rotated and it would be less stress and more fun. One of my counterparts noted that I needed to smile and laugh more. 

The laughter and smiles definitely came over 3 years where everything was 90% less stressful, I enjoyed my management 100% more and I had a schedule that allowed me to work on my physical and mental health. I was at my peak at both during that time, losing 70 pounds, eating cleaner, and feeling more clarity and sleeping better.

STARS: How I Have Improved My Speech Tremendously Throughout My Life

I have had a speech impediment since I was a child and it still affects me in my mid 40s. I don't stutter as often but I definitely will talk rapidly when I'm nervous, excited, upset or all the above. I also have a thick country accent that comes out more when all 3 of the aforementioned surfaces. 

This has affected my confidence, my social status and even caused road bumps throughout my career. 

I was in speech therapy in school for 6 years (big shout out to Mrs. Carolyn Fowler for being patient and believing in me.) and learned how to properly pronounce and enunicate certain letters and phrases. I also have taken plenty of public speaking courses and even leadership positions. I have traveled to conferences to strengthen and sharpen my voice. 

I later channeled my energies in therapy through the gym, breathing, mediating, and slowing down my speaking pace through practice. I would record myself and even video myself to have my voice crisper. 

Present day, I have held 10 leadership positions, 3 of these being in management, have appeared on radio shows and podcasts, have been guest speaker and MC at 5 different events and have simply found my niche: control. I know if I maintain that, the sky is the limit for myself and my voice.

I am human and do still slip up especially when I'm around people I don't know or people I'm the most comfortable with. I am 90% better and more confident than I was as a child..