Debbie Lanier's Life and Times: Volume 7: Comedies

I'm back after two weeks of celebrating independence and life! 

Debbie's form of happiness was watching comedies and often over and over. She said she liked to laugh and it gave her a sense of peace. She wasn't with dramas and tearjerkers. 

Her favorite the final ten years of her life was Roseanne. When Roseanne returned to the air and she was temporarily blacklisted, I bought my mom the box set. Debbie would watch those episodes daily on repeat, DVD or TV. She also loved Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond, Reba, Mike and Molly, King Of Queens, Frazier, Becker, Everybody Hates Chris and many others. Comedic sitcoms were her safe space and kept her at ease. 

My mom and I shared a great love for these shows over the years and watching/rewatching these shows keeps that part of her alive. 

Debbie Lanier's Life and Times: Part 6: Good Housekeeping

My mom was one of the best housekeepers I knew. From her home to her car and definitely her yard, she didn't miss a detail while she was fully mobile. I only hope to uphold that standard as I must remember to dust. 

Debbie Lanier's yards and home were granular and immaculate.  She cleaned and dusted daily, mopped twice/week, and was always washing something: dishes, clothes, a child's face, etc. She was a clean woman and her house reflected that. 

In the era where more people are trusting potlucks, you could trust Debbie's kitchen. Even with inside cats, my mom would have her kitchen cleaner than many restaurants and no one was allowed in nor out while she worked her magic. 

She kept the basics: Clorox, Windex, a vacuum cleaner or two, an older broom because they swept better, and several rags and towels. She would clean any deeper if she were cooking or expecting company. She didn't like for stuff to linger on couches or public areas like the floor. 

Debbie could have had side hustles in catering and/or cleaning houses. Unsure why she didn't since she worked in restaurants and in a couple of places as a cleaning lady. You best believe she's still cleaning in Heaven also! 

Debbie Lanier's Life and Times: Part 5- Food

You cannot mention Debbie Lanier without her cooking coming up somewhere.  

My mom had over 50 years of experience in the stove and would make magic happen everytime. She made it look so easy! However you didn't want to be in her way. You didn't run in nor out of her kitchen while cooking. Debbie had a process and you dare not ruin it. She would cook enough for an army and she would feed anyone. She didn't believe in anyone going hungry.  You can tell by my appearance throughout the years that I certainly didn't. All jokes aside, we always had a meal on the table and a snack after school and she cooked every Sunday and holiday for a number of years. 

Debbie's specialities included her biscuits, vegetable soup, cornbread, meatloaf, roast, baked chicken, fried chicken, turkey and dressing, Mac n cheese, pork chops, ribs, sweet tea, grits, sausage gravy, beans of any kind, greens, okra, greens, cookies of various types, cakes and chicken/turkey salad.

Debbie Lanier's cooking was both her love language and legacy. She would provide you a hot country meal if she couldn't give you anything else. 

Debbie Lanier's Life and Times: Part 4- Music

Music is the universal language and definitely not short on my mom. She had a great love and ear for music. She always had a radio or boom box going and has a girl had two transitor radios, one for each ear (should I get earphone/earbud royalties?). 

Her musical favorites included The Jackson 5 and Michael Jackson, Prince, Karen Carpenter, The Rolling Stones, Eagles, Chicago, Journey, Elton John, Phil Collins, The Spinners, Eminem, Drake, Dr. Dre, Fleetwood Mac, The Doobie Brothers, The Bee Gees, Earth, Wind and Fire, ELO, Hall and Oates, and all of Motown just to name the artists and groups that stayed in her rotation.  

Mom liked music that had good lyrics and would make you jam and dance. She wasn't big on country music or certain hip hop artists. She also tired of the modern pop scene. 

Debbie Lanier had a great ear for music and was adept at remembering song, album and title for many songs and such. This love for music will also be forever honored. 

Debbie Lanier's Life and Tales- Part 3: Her Cars

My mom had quite a few cars in her time, many of them memorable, some annoying, all she put her spin on (dad joke intended). 

Her first car she bought was in the early 70s: her Vega. She loved that car as it was the first one she owned and bought. I can't remember if it were the Vega or the Chevelle but one of her cars had a broken gas meter so she kept gas in it all the time. The Vega had a sad ending as it was totaled in a car accident. My mom was very injured, even got a concussion. Those that know Debbie Lanier the best know two things: she was more worried and crying over losing the Vega and people were trying to keep her awake due to the concussion but she was being stubborn. 

She then got a Chevelle which she had for quite sometime. It was the car she drove when her and my dad dated. She later gave it to my uncle Kenny the year after I was born. 

Mom drove at least two other cars (somehow she always seemed to have a silver/gray car) that I cannot recall. I definitely remember the hot, clunker Granada. It got us around from point A to point B and wherever she took us and any other kid or family member. That was the car (or the one prior) that only had one working radio station. Fortunately that station played everything. We had a lot of good memories in the ole Granada although it stayed in the shop every month. 

She then had the loud and embarrassing Ford Escort (one of two). Myself and my brother loved the hatchback but that muffler was so loud! That was another car that kept us on the side of the road. It was the first one I can remember having a tape deck. 

The Chevrolet Spectrum was next. This car logged a lot of miles between myself and my brother's extracurricular activities and was the first car we had when my mom got her place. It was a good, fun ride and the car that I drove when I was learning to drive. 

The best car hands down besides perhaps the Vega that she had was the Cavalier. It was nearly brand new and lasted almost ten years. That car traveled everywhere and myself and my brother drove it. That was the car I drove to prom that had two separate keys, one for the ignition and one for locking it. That car also moved me in and out during my college days. I have very warm memories of this car. 

Mom then upgraded to two different Escorts and gave the Cavalier to my cousin. The red Escort didn't last long as my brother totaled it. It was just as well: red draws too much attention. She later on got a gray (yes another gray car) one. It didn't run as well as the red one but it lasted eight years. For a year, her and I shared the car and then I drove it until 2008 until giving it to my cousin. 

Her final car was her Toyota Corolla that still runs to this day. She finally found a good car and mechanic plus she had the transmission and engine replaced. This car is currently almost 18 years old. I haven't decided what I'm going to do with it yet aside from driving it short distances but I definitely want to keep it for obvious reasons. 

Debbie Lanier's Life and Tales- Part 2: DEFENSE

I write this second installment of my mom's life as the NFL schedule was recently released and fans are making their plans to attend, tailgate, etc. 

My mom did many things well. One thing that was noted in the town of Blacksburg was how she always defended the underdog: her brother, kids, relatives, nieces and nephews, etc. If Debbie Lanier was in your corner, you had little to worry about. 

Debbie literally had zero fear when it came to defending someone, especially against bullies. Anti-bullying is a part of #imjustdrew and people knew my mom from that alone. She maintained a house, job, lifestyle, etc well while seemingly staying up at the schools off and on for two decades on defending myself and other kids. She would dare a school official to call the police. Debbie knew how to handle a bully: in public. She would call them out after practices, games, at the grocery store. Mom would even chaperone field trips and even show up to Field Day to fuss at kids. She was ahead of her time and knew all the ways to get around talking to a bully without going to jail. And other parents? Yeah bring them on, especially if she went to school with them. Some parents that knew Debbie Lanier were proactive and would tell their kids to not ever mess with me and even defend me if possible. 

Debbie had that lasting effect everywhere: the schools, restaurants, jobs, doctors, hospitals, etc. She truly fought for what she believed in and it brought out the introvert in her. If you wanted to get Debbie Lanier out of her home, tell her someone was bullying one of her kids or a relative. 

I'm thankful and leery at the same time that I now have a 24/7 bodyguard now. I know she's not going to let anything happen to me aside from free will and that gives me lifetime peace. 

Debbie Lanier's Life and Tales: Part 1: Parenthood

This is a series dedicated to my mom and stories of many of the things she loved and enjoyed.  Part 1 will focus on parenthood as she truly enjoyed being a mom and this is close to Mother's Day. 

My mom had several good times, 24 years worth of them prior to giving birth to me, her eldest child. She would often say she felt like her life began when she had me. She had her own child to love, cherish, and mold.

She was known to watch me and other children all the time, especially while sleeping. Many parents look forward to the day when their children can walk, talk, etc. My mom truly enjoyed our infant days the most as she didn't want us to grow up. Even as I my brother and I grew up to be adult men, she wanted us close by. She cherished every moment we had with her. She was the type of mom that looked forward to summer because of the weather and her kids would be at home. She cried everyday of the first day of school because although she worked, she loved having us home in the home she made for us. 

She loved to cook for anybody and everybody. Cooking was definitely her love language, something she did in small forms until she passed. Rarely a Sunday or holiday passed where she didn't have a big meal.  She loved having her cabinets and fridge full so she could fill the stomachs of others with her world famous biscuits, veggies, the meat of choice and her sweet tea. She was simple but put so much love in her meals that is rarely seen. If myself, my brother or anyone requested her to cook something, she would do it. Mom also baked cakes for others, sent food to those in need and always let anyone know if they need a hot meal or a place to stay for a spell they could call on her. 

My mom was truly the neighborhood mom that fought for, loved and advocated for children.  She didn't miss a school event, ball game nor fundraiser. She was a very active parent, one that did it alone for a number of years and made it look easy. Mom didn't use her boys as an excuse to be late or not to come. We were often early after she gave us the rundown on how to behave and what not to touch. She expected us to conduct ourselves properly. 

I don't like to criticize nor condemn parenting styles. It is hard for me not to look at my mom's style and not consider it a blueprint for parenting. She didn't have as much money nor resources as the modern parent. However, we were always clothed and fed, even after school, had a steady home, healthy home life and lots of love. My mom went all in once I was born and exceeded the expectations. She never used us as a crutch nor said we held her back. We were her life and she loved that. I'm blessed that I had that mother in my life and corner. I'm not a father but I would certainly use much of what she taught with my children. 

Happy Mother's Day to my mom and all of the mothers! You all deserve the praise for the sacrifices you have made.