Misunderstanding Mother's Day and Women

Today was Mother's Day, a rightful and appropriate homage to mothers and mother figures everywhere.  Many of you know I'm very grateful for my mother. I show this love and appreciation not only on this day, but everyday. I feel most children do. However,  you always have those that use this day to showcase what great children they are, when they barely honor or talk to their mothers.

Sorry if this blurb is taking a dark turn. I'm mostly going on the commercial and social side. 

Mother's Day is a common holiday, and very commercial and misunderstood. Businesses,  especially restaurants, florists and card companies, all capitalize on folks showing their mothers all this love for one day. Back before cell phones were popular,  the long distance companies use to make a good grip from calls made on this holiday.

Now I don't think Mother's Day is yet ruined or over commercialized like Christmas or even Valentine's Day. I believe often we miss the forest for the trees. It's about giving moms that special day, among many days. There is little argument that they deserve it. We just can't forget the true meaning of the holiday: showing love to your mother.  This doesn't always mean buying her the most expensive gift,  taking her to the best restaurant, getting her the best deals in packages and gifts available. 

The bottom line is your mother must know she is loved, and regularly.  Women need that appreciation and validation,  especially for all of the thankless tasks they do for others. However,  don't let it be a competition as to who is treating their mother better, or whom loves their mom the most. You love her,  she knows it, and you show it regularly.  That is what truly matters.

I have a very simple mom. I always make sure she has a nice gift,  a card, and doesn't have to cook for herself or others on that day. I ask her what SHE wants,  not what I want to get her, and I deliver. One must be in tune with their mom, wife, grandma, etc.  Please her on this day, and everyday.

The bottom line is this holiday should be used to show your own interpretation of love between you and your mother,  NOT what society, social media, and commercials tell you. This may be a grand gesture,  this may be a small one. Either way, it should be unique and fitting for the mother.

That being said, Happy Mother's Day to my mom, Debbie Lanier, and all moms! Here's hoping that you the love you displayed,  the gifts and such you bought, were all from the heart and what she wanted.  That is truly honoring the motherly women in your lives.

Men: Commit! Or Quit and Keep It Moving!

OK fellas to avoid being anti-female and keep my blog balanced, I have a simple message for you all, especially the grown up men over 30. Please stop playing around with these women that are looking for something deeper than sex or a simple relationship.  If a long term commitment isn't your thing,  let it go and move on.

Do it for the good of mankind.

Women aren't even comparing us to dogs anymore because dogs are too loyal.  Rather we are more like cats: sneaky, not wanting much affection, having a different agenda, and chasing after rats.  Admittedly it's a harsh comparison but a very true one. It appears that the many ones out there plotting and playing games makes it tougher for us good men to convince a woman that we are right for them.

Fellow men, the last thing we need is another challenge. Finding true love and connecting with that woman is difficult enough.  The waters are further muddied with nasty, trifling guys basically misrepresenting the male race.

Some of you never will be that type of man andd that's not all bad. You are who you are and no one should force you to change.  All I'm asking is to be honest with yourself and these women who want more. Find someone that's into the games and lack of committment.  Trust me, these women are out there and they love to sneak around also. However, when a female does it, the double standard is applied and they are called whores. 

Men, wouldn't you be much happier with a woman who's not looking for anything significant?  It will take the pressure off of you, especially when it comes to commitment and philandering. Please don't ruin the good women out there, just as you have smeared the image of the average male. It's time for this madness to end.

Women, don't be bitter, be BETTER!

It seems women have a lot of hard feelings when they choose the wrong mate, or when their "perfect" mate wrongs them. It appears they are acting out a scene from "Waiting To Exhale" , then they often punish the next guy that shows interest.

Women, please listen to me for a few minutes.  Not all men are perfect,  but not all men are bad. Often when things go south,  it's not always the man or men in general.  You have to keep things in perspective and know when and where you have went wrong also. It's not an easy thing,  but after a while, you must look at your own choices. 

The simple definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. " When you date the same quality or pedigree of man, you can only expect equal treatment.  You must look elsewhere.  Try a different type of man: one that is more gentle, from a different background than yourself,  an humble man, or even one of a different race. Either way, spice things up.

Also, keep your heart open and love yourself fully. How can you expect to give your love to someone else if you aren't sure of yourself and at peace?

Next,  please stop trying to make a man into a project. You are not Jesus, so don't try to work miracles. Changing a grown - up man takes too much work, work that is often for naught.   Accept a person as they are and add to their life,  rather than take away or rebuild it.

The bottom line is ladies: be BETTER! You have to be what you want to attract.  You may have a great job, a fine education,  and are extremely attractive.  However,  you must also bring an open, compassionate heart and mind to the table and not baggage from your past.  Let that go.

You can win in the game of love my females. However please stop with all the man bashing.  This isn't a reality show or a Tyler Perry movie. Life is real and we should all be real and true with it, and our hearts.

Women: You Deserve MORE, PERIOD

Ok this is usually the time of year where men and women alike start trying to get that special someone for the colder weather.  I've written about this from several different angles. Here is another one regarding a woman's self-worth.

Alicia Keys wrote and recorded a song over a decade ago "A Woman's Worth." The gist of it is that women will lower themselves to the lowest common denominator just to have someone. They will be with a mate that abuses them physically and mentally, neglects them, and simply doesn't have much to offer in return.  They pretty much prefer to be committed and miserable than single and lonely.

The title is simple my females: you DESERVE MORE!!!

Now I'm not just talking money, jewelry, or other material possessions.  It's always nice when someone can take care of you financially.  However, love yourself and know your worth. Make that person want to love you as well, show you affection, laugh with you, be your best friend.  That's what really counts in the end.

Now I'm not one to reference Steve Harvey often but he was right in saying sometimes you have to require more of yourself from suitors. That's right, raise and adjust those standards. Get the man that will go the extra mile. Have that person that will stand tall for you and not back down when the going gets tough. You need you a warrior on your team.

It's time to stop complaining about the lack of good men when you are dating the same "type" of man. Look within yourself and see what you attract. Often you will find you're better than that.

So ladies, please don't settle, simply settle down when that real love comes along.  Leave the games on the playground and go get what is yours!

A League Of Their Own: The Growing Number Of Ladies Playing Fantasy Football

The NFL is in full swing, as is fantasy football. Approximately 33 million people play the fantasy game since it became popular with the Internet nearly two decades ago.

And it's no longer a man's game.

Over 6 million women play as well. Some of these women have even started their own leagues, just for females. One such is based primarily in Charlotte, NC. It's called Vick In A Box, named after Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick.

These are 10 very serious ladies. They know the sport and are very competitive. Andrea Harper started the league in 2011 as she had prior experience and wanted to play in an all-women's league. She thought it would be a great opportunity for them to learn more about the game through fun and friendly competition.   Of the 10 ladies in Vick In A Box, 8 live in Charlotte, one lives in Asheville, NC, and the other in Mumbai, India.

As is the case in many fantasy leagues, the Charlotte players hang out sometimes, and love to talk smack. They all have T-Shirts with their league name and a logo they collectively designed.  They have been seen tailgating at Carolina Panthers home games wearing their league shirts.

Tonja Turner and Chinette Stevenson have won the past two championships. However, Carolyn Benton has her sights set on the gold this year.

Carolyn, like most of the other ladies, is very competitive and began playing when Andrea started the league. She has a bronze trophy for 3rd place, but wants to be the next champion. 

She has had fun and learned very much about the sport of football.  Carolyn already knew the basics going in. Thanks to fantasy, she knows more about team defense, why certain teams run certain plays based on field position, can analyze weekly matchups well, and knows that many players and teams play better at home.

The sport and game have grown from women just drooling over the players or getting beers and wings for their boyfriends and husbands. Many women of different backgrounds and walks of life are playing and are doing well, even in leagues with male counterparts. 

It also seems the ladies of Vick In A Box are following the precedent Holly Robinson Peete set years ago when she became an avid fan because her husband, Rodney, was an NFL quarterback.  She showed women how to enjoy and understand the sport. Now women of many leagues such as Vick In A Box are showing other ladies that they also can be competitive and have fun like the guys.

Fantasy football will continue to grow and so will the number of all-female leagues. Expect to see more women curious about the buzz and want to compete also. It could get interesting in social, professional and even romantic circles. Nevertheless, it's always good natured competition. 

More Money Than Sense: Guys Spending Way Too Much Money On Women

This is kind of an addition to my last post about when women turn the tables and do men wrong. One of the main ways is by spending all of their money.

Men will spend insane amounts of money on a woman, and they don't necessarily have to be wearing a G-string and swinging from a pole. Guys use their wallets and credit cards often instead of their brains and hearts to get beautiful women.
There are times when they get little to nothing in return. Often they are spending beyond their means and end up broke, sad, and alone.

Men like this tend to have more money than sense. They are neither smart financially or when it comes to women. They don't have much game to get a real woman. Therefore they go after money hungry golddiggers and loose women. Men like this feel if they cannot get a good woman, they will buy one. And often that price tag is steep. They try to put themselves in the game and give them an edge. They feel if they can help a woman get what she wants, he will get what she wants.

Too bad this isn't always this simple.

Now don't get me wrong. I personally believe in sharing the rewards and fruits of my labor with a special woman. However, I have a saying "I play the arcade, not Vegas". This simply means that I'm into fun and spending a reasonable amount of cash. However, I don't go beyond my means and take outrageous gambles. Many fellas play Vegas and end up on the short end of the stick.

Guys need to find a female that is simple but requires more effort than a platinum card to get. At some point, you don't want a play thing. You want a real woman, someone who pulls their weight and can take care of themselves. They will appreciate what you give them, and will have your back in tough times.

Money is important in most any relationship. However the love must be there for it to have a long shelf life.  Keep some cash in your wallet, use some financial sense, and don't let go of the special and sincere things required to get and keep a woman.

There are good people out there to date. One simply must understand you shouldn't have to buy them and vice versa.  Show them your heart and spirit, and let any money be a great side blessing. There is a reason the love of money is the root of all evil.

Dogging Men Out: The Women That Do It And How The Tables Have Turned

It appears women are becoming more than whores. The paradigm has shifted and they are becoming more like men far as how they approach the game of love.
Women now, especially the younger generation, have become the players and heartbreakers. I have seen this since I started dating. But the number of women that are playing men, blowing them off, not answering calls, etc has increased.
Once upon a time, you could blame a lack of father figure for this. However, that seems to have the opposite effect for ladies with good fathers. Often they can become rebellious because their father may have sheltered them or because they see how great Daddy is, and find that boring. They're not trying to settle too soon.
Therefore, are the pool of available men to blame for this? Well the bad men certainly can be the culprits as they have some of these women so twisted and scorned. Steve Harvey has also gotten into women's heads over the years, getting them to "Think Like A Man". Apparently thinking like yourself is no longer vogue. However, some men are just dumb and horny. They're the ones who will allow themselves to get played and manipulated by women. Sometimes it isn't their fault, but often they aren't thinking with the proper head.
Women have started to realize the power of sex, and lack thereof. There are many that basically cheat life and get what they want without hard work. They become business women as their bills are paid, their children wear nice clothes, and they go on extravagant vacations.
Personally, I believe in spoiling that special someone. However, give and take must exist, and I've grown too old to let a woman take advantage of me. I've had women parade other guys around me, never call back, and when I ask for her number, give me a fake number. The latter is tougher now of course with cell phones. 
I read a FB status the other day from an obviously bitter woman. She said that ALL men are bad until they prove her otherwise. This behavior helps fostering gold digging and selfish behavior. Women, I assure you there are good men out there. Just don't allow yourself to become a shell of who you formally were because of a romance gone wrong.
Two wrongs do not make a right, so turning the tables on the opposite sex is dangerous and dirty. Keep your head up in the game of love and you can have more satisfaction.