Acting Brand New: What Is Wrong With You

I'm a proponent of change, progression, and improvement physically, mentally, financially and spiritually. However, it does not sit well with me when people become shells of themselves and act as if they don't know their true friends and family. 

It seems that often these brand new people are just that: acting in a new, strange matter. They think they are better than others, have an inflated self-esteem, and are simply no longer a pleasure to be around.  I have seen it happen dozens of times.

This typically happens when a person experiences a positive change in their financial status, their physical appearance, or their overall social status. 

1. Finances

Money truly can change a person.  Certain people come into it by means of a new job, a promotion, or a big windfall. They think they are high and mighty now that they have less financial worries. Problem is, they may have already been this way before. The new found riches has just revealed this ugly side of themselves. 

2. Weight loss and physique change. 

I have been writing many pieces lately on health and wellness. Many people who gain a new body, new confidence and sometimes even a new following, can become jaded and uppity as well. They think that because they have achieved their fitness goals that those that have yet to are beneath them. People like this look down on them and even make fun of them, like they weren't in the same boat. Worse part is they are not helping them at all. They are hurting them and themselves. 

3. Social status

Through the previous two items and many others, your social standing has suddenly increased.  You are more desirable as a mate, you are on the VIP list for all the big parties and gatherings and more people simply want to be like you and around you. It seems too easy to forget those that have been by your side the entire time, rather than these new found friends. You often see this in high schools and in teen movies.  Some people cannot simply handle popularity and celebrity status. Look at the celebrities such as Justin Bieber and Charlie Sheen that cannot stay out of trouble. 

Basically, humility and grace is required when one reaches a higher level in life. You should always remember you are privileged, not entitled, to be at this point. It could all vanish in the blink of an eye.

Please don't forget the ones that have been in your corner in the tough times.  This doesn't necessarily mean trying to support the entire neighborhood. It means showing gratitude and not being too good or busy to have small talk and spend time with these people.  It benefits both parties equally.

How has someone you know changed for the worst because of any of the factors I mentioned? What did you say to them, if anything?

Some Ways To Effectively Spend, Budget and Stretch Your Tax Refund

One of my personal favorite times of the year is here: tax season. It allows those that actually receive a refund a chance to recoup and recover from the Christmas frenzy, save up some cash for summer and beyond, and treat yourself and others. 

Many people, however, spend their refunds frivolously.  They go to Wal-Mart, the mall, online, everywhere, buying up stuff they could otherwise do without. 

Now I'm not saying don't enjoy your refund. You worked hard for this money from Uncle Sam. However a penny saved is a penny earned. Here are some tips to spend that money more effectively, and even stretch it out some.

1. Tithe 10% of it, or give a portion to a local charity.

Many don't realize you should tithe 10% of your refund to the Lord via your church. Well if you don't wanna do that or do not have a church to send your monies to, choose a church or philanthropy and go that route. The amount will seem small, but the impact will be monumental.

2. Take care of home and automobile.

Car commercials are everywhere now, as many car lots are still trying to clear last year's inventory.  Having your refund can make this possible.  However, if you already have a car note or you don't want another, use some of your refund for routine maintenance.  This includes tires, brakes, tune-ups, and anything that may need replacing.  Also, many that own homes already spend a lot of money at Home Depot or Lowes. You can take care of home improvements as well.

3. Pay off bills and get ahead.

Speaking of the aforementioned car note, it doesn't hurt to pay off your car, or put a dent in the note so the interest is lower. Also, this applies to other outstanding or huge upcoming bills.

4. Pledge to save about 10 percent for a rainy day. 

Regardless of how you spend the check, set aside 10 percent of it for an emergency fund. Put it in a credit union or savings and allow it to accumulate some interest. This will keep that money working for you.

5. Treat yourself. 

It's perfectly fine to do this, as long as you don't break the bank in the process. Go to that five star restaurant you saw on Yelp. Take that vacation or cruise this summer. Buy yourself some new electronics, clothes, or gadgets. Some retail therapy and money to get away is actually healthy.

6. Take care of needs, then wants

This is the theme I'm driving towards.  You should pay down as much debt, and take care of any and all needs you can before having fun with your funds. You will enjoy it more having that peace of mind.

7.  Set a budget for each spending purpose. 

I typically write a list of things that I need to take care of, along with a wish list. I try to make it as reasonable as possible, and ensure I still have money left over. This is discipline with your windfall.

Remember this is tax season, not the lottery. You aren't rich, just a little blessed. Just take proper care of your blessing and don't get quickly separated from your monies.

Reasons Why I Hate Shopping

Alright it's the beginning of the year and we're getting into some more spending holidays and occasions.Tax season is upon us, not to mention Valentine's Day in a few weeks.  Retail chains nationwide stand to make a grip from many shoppers spending money as their bank accounts are now revived from the post-Christmas frenzy.

Anyone that knows me well knows I loathe shopping. I shop as less frequently as possible, and try to do it all in one day, often at one store if possible.  I'm even like this when I shop for Christmas, holidays, birthdays, or go spending some of my tax refund. 

There are various reasons for this extreme dislike

1. Too time consuming and exhausting

I was raised by two women: my mother and grandmother. My mother didn't shop much and when she did, she limited her time and stores she went to. My late grandma, on the other hand, wasn't the person you wanted to go to the grocery store with. She would turn a 15 minute shopping trip to the local Community Cash into an hour.  It seemed she would always find something else she wanted, plus she would run into someone every minute and would talk and talk and talk.
I may have inherited my gabbing from my grandma, but I got my shopping habits from my mom. I always aim to be in and out of any shopping excursion in 30 minutes or less.  Often if it takes that long, it's not worthwhile to me. When I do have to go do a lot of shopping, it tires me out so easily. 

2. The lines

I have written before about how I cannot stand waiting in long, unnecessary lines. I purposely shop early or late to avoid all of this. Therefore, I don't like huge shopping days such as Black "Whack" Friday, Christmas Eve, and back to school time.   It's way too nauseating for me. Let's not forget the crowds at stores such as Wal-Mart.

3. My frugality. 

Yes I am extremely frugal, cheap, or as I refer to myself "economically sound". I have a hard time handing over my hard earned cash or swiping my debit card. I like to hold on to my money and not frivolously spend, spend, and spend some more. Many people don't seem to have this problem though.

4. Online shopping

It's so easy now to simply buy stuff at the touch of your smartphone, tablet or laptop. You can even buy groceries and order pizza online.  And it's becoming more and more secure, especially with PayPal. You do not even have to leave your house in order to purchase certain items. Many times, this is a great thing.

Shopping is an adrenaline rush, even a sport for many. It's more of a chore for myself, especially for the reasons stated above.

So if you say you're going shopping and I'm with you, it better not be an all day trip. I will respectfully decline.

More Money Than Sense: Guys Spending Way Too Much Money On Women

This is kind of an addition to my last post about when women turn the tables and do men wrong. One of the main ways is by spending all of their money.

Men will spend insane amounts of money on a woman, and they don't necessarily have to be wearing a G-string and swinging from a pole. Guys use their wallets and credit cards often instead of their brains and hearts to get beautiful women.
There are times when they get little to nothing in return. Often they are spending beyond their means and end up broke, sad, and alone.

Men like this tend to have more money than sense. They are neither smart financially or when it comes to women. They don't have much game to get a real woman. Therefore they go after money hungry golddiggers and loose women. Men like this feel if they cannot get a good woman, they will buy one. And often that price tag is steep. They try to put themselves in the game and give them an edge. They feel if they can help a woman get what she wants, he will get what she wants.

Too bad this isn't always this simple.

Now don't get me wrong. I personally believe in sharing the rewards and fruits of my labor with a special woman. However, I have a saying "I play the arcade, not Vegas". This simply means that I'm into fun and spending a reasonable amount of cash. However, I don't go beyond my means and take outrageous gambles. Many fellas play Vegas and end up on the short end of the stick.

Guys need to find a female that is simple but requires more effort than a platinum card to get. At some point, you don't want a play thing. You want a real woman, someone who pulls their weight and can take care of themselves. They will appreciate what you give them, and will have your back in tough times.

Money is important in most any relationship. However the love must be there for it to have a long shelf life.  Keep some cash in your wallet, use some financial sense, and don't let go of the special and sincere things required to get and keep a woman.

There are good people out there to date. One simply must understand you shouldn't have to buy them and vice versa.  Show them your heart and spirit, and let any money be a great side blessing. There is a reason the love of money is the root of all evil.

More Money, More Problems,...

Perhaps Diddy was right in his song from years ago. The more money you have, the more problems arise.

Let's face it, we all need money, and strive to make and have more. It appears to make our lives easier. The bills are paid, and you tend to have more friends, especially if you're male. You get this sense of peace and pride. I've been there, its nice.

Greater earnings and a healthy bank account also tends to changes your spending habits. You wear nicer clothes, you go out to dinner, movies, and concerts more often. You vacation in Vegas and Hawaii rather than Myrtle Beach, the mountains or your uncle's cabin in Boone, NC.

However, one should be smart with their money, and never stop being thrifty. Regardless of how much you have, there are always pitfalls. You should always have a legal side hustle or two. You have to keep your financial self in shape as well as your physical and emotional.

Many musicians and profession al athletes from the NFL and NBA end up broke really fast. They aren't spending or managing their monies correctly, and are trusting the wrong people. Why are you giving so called experts you barely know the power of attorney, and letting them have all this access to your finances? One needs to learn how to handle your earnings yourself without the help of a third party.

The financially smart always have additional investments and are making their money work for them. Think Bill Gates, Donald Trump, Mark Zuckerberg, and Oprah Winfrey. These billionaires are just that for a reason. They spend wisely, are economically sound, and are seeking to increase their dollar through sound transactions. I'm talking stocks, bonds, stuff that draws interest and has long term value. People get themselves into dire straits by spending on 100 inch flat screen televisions, fancy cars, suits and such. These things depreciate fast in value.

Now of course one should enjoy the fruits of their labor. However, you must be aware of pitfalls such as taxes, unexpected expenses, upkeep, maintenance, and people with their hands out. Saying no is a powerful word especially when it comes to your wallet. You can't help everybody and save the whole world so do not try. Have a 40 year plan with your money, and also have a good short term plan. Learn to budget, and spend within your means.

It is easy to manage your own finances, but its also easy to get caught up. More are spending, less are investing.

Money certainly isn't everything, but no one wants financial burdens. You can create more for yourself by not taking care of your bank account. This includes being a millionaire, or making minimum wage. The principles are the same.

Therefore, continue to save, invest, be thrifty, and appreciate the simple things in life. Spoiling yourself and others are fine as long as you do it in moderation.

Here's another thought: have you ever tried drinking a gallon of whole milk in one sitting? I wouldn't advise it, and I also wouldn't recommend blowing all your money in one place. Reduce the problems, and spend your earnings wisely and humbly, especially when it involves others.

You will thank yourself later when you're retired and have a lot to show for it, and you're not depending on simply social security to get by. Recent history indicates that will not be the way to go in the next few decades. You have been warned so prepare now.

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