Misunderstanding Mother's Day and Women

Today was Mother's Day, a rightful and appropriate homage to mothers and mother figures everywhere.  Many of you know I'm very grateful for my mother. I show this love and appreciation not only on this day, but everyday. I feel most children do. However,  you always have those that use this day to showcase what great children they are, when they barely honor or talk to their mothers.

Sorry if this blurb is taking a dark turn. I'm mostly going on the commercial and social side. 

Mother's Day is a common holiday, and very commercial and misunderstood. Businesses,  especially restaurants, florists and card companies, all capitalize on folks showing their mothers all this love for one day. Back before cell phones were popular,  the long distance companies use to make a good grip from calls made on this holiday.

Now I don't think Mother's Day is yet ruined or over commercialized like Christmas or even Valentine's Day. I believe often we miss the forest for the trees. It's about giving moms that special day, among many days. There is little argument that they deserve it. We just can't forget the true meaning of the holiday: showing love to your mother.  This doesn't always mean buying her the most expensive gift,  taking her to the best restaurant, getting her the best deals in packages and gifts available. 

The bottom line is your mother must know she is loved, and regularly.  Women need that appreciation and validation,  especially for all of the thankless tasks they do for others. However,  don't let it be a competition as to who is treating their mother better, or whom loves their mom the most. You love her,  she knows it, and you show it regularly.  That is what truly matters.

I have a very simple mom. I always make sure she has a nice gift,  a card, and doesn't have to cook for herself or others on that day. I ask her what SHE wants,  not what I want to get her, and I deliver. One must be in tune with their mom, wife, grandma, etc.  Please her on this day, and everyday.

The bottom line is this holiday should be used to show your own interpretation of love between you and your mother,  NOT what society, social media, and commercials tell you. This may be a grand gesture,  this may be a small one. Either way, it should be unique and fitting for the mother.

That being said, Happy Mother's Day to my mom, Debbie Lanier, and all moms! Here's hoping that you the love you displayed,  the gifts and such you bought, were all from the heart and what she wanted.  That is truly honoring the motherly women in your lives.

Reasons Why I Hate Shopping

Alright it's the beginning of the year and we're getting into some more spending holidays and occasions.Tax season is upon us, not to mention Valentine's Day in a few weeks.  Retail chains nationwide stand to make a grip from many shoppers spending money as their bank accounts are now revived from the post-Christmas frenzy.

Anyone that knows me well knows I loathe shopping. I shop as less frequently as possible, and try to do it all in one day, often at one store if possible.  I'm even like this when I shop for Christmas, holidays, birthdays, or go spending some of my tax refund. 

There are various reasons for this extreme dislike

1. Too time consuming and exhausting

I was raised by two women: my mother and grandmother. My mother didn't shop much and when she did, she limited her time and stores she went to. My late grandma, on the other hand, wasn't the person you wanted to go to the grocery store with. She would turn a 15 minute shopping trip to the local Community Cash into an hour.  It seemed she would always find something else she wanted, plus she would run into someone every minute and would talk and talk and talk.
I may have inherited my gabbing from my grandma, but I got my shopping habits from my mom. I always aim to be in and out of any shopping excursion in 30 minutes or less.  Often if it takes that long, it's not worthwhile to me. When I do have to go do a lot of shopping, it tires me out so easily. 

2. The lines

I have written before about how I cannot stand waiting in long, unnecessary lines. I purposely shop early or late to avoid all of this. Therefore, I don't like huge shopping days such as Black "Whack" Friday, Christmas Eve, and back to school time.   It's way too nauseating for me. Let's not forget the crowds at stores such as Wal-Mart.

3. My frugality. 

Yes I am extremely frugal, cheap, or as I refer to myself "economically sound". I have a hard time handing over my hard earned cash or swiping my debit card. I like to hold on to my money and not frivolously spend, spend, and spend some more. Many people don't seem to have this problem though.

4. Online shopping

It's so easy now to simply buy stuff at the touch of your smartphone, tablet or laptop. You can even buy groceries and order pizza online.  And it's becoming more and more secure, especially with PayPal. You do not even have to leave your house in order to purchase certain items. Many times, this is a great thing.

Shopping is an adrenaline rush, even a sport for many. It's more of a chore for myself, especially for the reasons stated above.

So if you say you're going shopping and I'm with you, it better not be an all day trip. I will respectfully decline.

2013 Christmas Letter

2013 has been a year of ups and downs for me and mine, and perserverance.

It got off to a rocky start when my mother broke her ankle after a freak accident, pushing me into the role of caretaker. Both of us channeled strength we didn't realize we had. My mom has made virtually a full recovery, despite needing to replace her glasses and complications with a ruptured ear drum.

There were also plenty to celebrate, and lots of changes, gains and losses. I attended two weddings this year, one being my younger cousin Brittany, and another being my co-worker Rodney (whom was featured back in September. )  I also lost a few dear loved ones: one of my long time friends Tim Brown, my beloved cat Tiny, and two uncles, Robert Costner and Junior Dover. Uncle Junior recently passed last week after a short battle with lung cancer. 

There were also losses of another nature. I said goodbye to three restaurants that I adore greatly: Papa G's Restaurant, Huckleberry's Cuisine and Spirits, and Fish-Tales Fish Camp. I had personal ties to all of them, which hurt more to see each of these close.
I celebrated 10 years with my company this year.  I gave up my column with the Weekly Ledger. However, my writings can always be found right here, and hopefully many more outlets in 2014. We were still on short time much of the year, but through some extra funds and my writings, I was able to take care of some bills, raise my credit score, and spoil myself a little. I bought myself a new grill with a smoker for my 35th birthday, a laptop, tablet, went to my first ever NASCAR race, and my first ever MMA fight. Finally, I completed my man cave for now. Of course that is always an ongoing process. 

I also left Alltel's phone service and got with T-Mobile. The purpose was to have 4G LTE coverage, no contract, upgrade flexibility, and access to newer phones, like the Samsung Galaxy S4. Additionally, I said goodbye after many years of working out at Your Best Body Fitness Center and Day Spa and joined Anytime Fitness. They are a corporate, 24/7 gym, with over 2,200 locations worldwide that I have access to, including five locations within close driving distance. Both of these transitions were not easy, but have made a huge difference in my life going forward.

Overall, I feel very blessed. I have built a strong network of family and friends, and I seem to have a party, gathering or a shindig to attend almost every week.  There were folks I had to distance myself from this year for various reasons. However, this made me appreciate the ones that truly value my time and presence.  I've learned to invest my time and energy in those people and things that leave me the happiest and energized.

I pray that myself, and all of us, have continued happiness as we go into 2014 and beyond.  Happy Holidays everyone and I'm so grateful to all of my loyal readers.

My Christmas/End of Year Letter for 2011

This year 2011 has been filled with ups and downs. Overall though, I'm happy, healthy, and wise through it all.

The year started off well as my favorite NFL team, The Green Bay Packers won the Super Bowl, their 4th and 1st in 14 years. I also got rid of my Blackberry (Slackberry) and got an HTC Desire, joining #teamandroid. I love this phone and do not plan on ever going back to the slow, unreliable Whackberry.  However, my year would take a quick turn as my laptop crashed back in March.   It ended up being my hard drive. At days end, it was much cheaper to buy another brand new laptop with a warranty than to repair my current one. Therefore, I have been without a home PC for much of 2011 and have relied heavily on my Android device. 

I suffered many additions to my family and friend circle. Five new baby cousins, but several deaths, including my former trainer and the owner of my gym, David Fink. Also, I lost 3 uncles: Raymond Bradley, JL Lanier, and just recently my uncle Joe Dean Moss. Uncle Joe passed only a week after he and my Aunt Dolly celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. Speaking of weddings, I went to several this year, 5 in fact. I was a groomsman for the first time in my life as one of my best friends, Rashad, married his long time girlfriend, Rayn. Career wise, I'm still at the Robert Allen Group after 8 years. This year, I changed departments, from the Cut Floor after 6 years to SBF. I took a paycut initially but it was worth it because I grew tired of the Cut Floor's incentive pay program. I like being on a flat rate in a smaller department. We are currently working reduced hours after receiving lots of overtime during the summer. I'm making the best of it though. I'm still active in the gym. However I slipped some and gained 20 pounds this year. I am determined to shed this weight as I have encouragement and motivation from several sources, I'm restarting my weekend physical challenges and 10K runs, changing my regimen. I've already made changes to my diet, and added Insanity to my regimen. With all of this in tow, I expect to be back to top form by summer. My love life wasn't the best for much of this year. I suffered a drought this summer, couldn't get any dates. Things picked up in the Fall fortunately, as I even reconciled with a couple of old flames. My immediate family has not had it easy, but is hanging in there. My mom has been struggling financially as her alimony is no longer enough for her to live off of. I help where I can, but I'm not doing much better. My now 15 year old cousin, LJ, has grown about 6 inches, has long hair, and the women love him. He was named a Junior Scholar back in the Spring. He just started high school and is still adjusting. All in all, I see positive things for 2012. I plan on getting another laptop, printer, and maybe a tablet. I'm closer to paying off my 3rd car in 9 years. I'm also still healthy and happy, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Happy Holidays to all who read my blog. I plan on expanding my blog to make it more prominent. I hope your year was also joyful and productive