STARS: How I handled my 40th Birthday celebration

Two years ago, I reached a milestone age: 40. I wanted to celebrate it differently than anyone else had. Plus I wanted not only the people I wanted included, but those that chose to be included. I didn't want anyone to feel excluded because that hurts and it's subtle bullying. Change my mind.  

That said, I had decided to take off the week of my birthday but essentially celebrate all month long. I would allow folks time with 4th of July and vacation festivities to join in. 

I had cake and gave everyone an opportunity to have some. Just like my overall celebration, the cake would be available and in waves.  

I went to Atlanta for three days and got to watch my first Braves game at SunTrust Park. I also saw Frank Caliendo live at the Comedy Zone in Greenville, SC. 

I even decided to celebrate with two friends, both of us turning 40. Both were cool with it but one of them was a newlywed and her husband wanted to do something special. I had no problem with that and joined in. 

I am blessed to have a really good mutual friend who ensured we both received our own celebrations. She had us a party and cake at Dave and Busters. I also had someone give me a quart of my favorite concoction and I received my pet cat Trouser.  Also I went out on the town on two other occasions. 

I ended up stretching the celebration for a few weeks but I got all that I wanted and then some. I gave all ample time to celebrate with me and gift me.  I didn't hear one complaint about anyone being left out or excluded either. 

I have researched that even Sir Elton John wasn't invited to the 2018 Royal Wedding. I'm not saying I'm better; however, I did not restrict access to my celebration to anyone.  Those that feel they struggle to "invite everyone" should try this. It is also pandemic friendly. 

STARS: Explaining White Privilege to those that will listen

Notice the title before you start explaining to anyone about white privilege.  

Some don't want to know, care to know, period. And that's OK. This is part of the education process.  

I first determine if they want to know about white privilege and what it means. If they are dismissive, disrespectful and try to flip it to a reverse racism situation, do not waste your time. I vet and filter out the ones that are willing and ready for this conversation. 

I then begin the conversation. I base this on their level of comprehension and understanding. I have a few articles and videos I found online, one is a Tik Tok video exercise. Two others are similar in nature, one written piece being how to explain white privilege to a poor white person. 

I also use snippets and fragments of these videos and articles. For example I may ask "raise your hand or like my post if the money you have in the pocket represents your race and how society sees you?". This is so important because it's deeper than how you see yourself. When one sees how they are perceived by the majority in the world, they can sympathize and act accordingly.  

 I am already successfully educating many, including my best and longest friend and my own mother.  They have watched me struggle from racial attacks and discrimination for a decade. Now they are starting to see that #BlackLivesMatter is way more than just a movement. It is trying to bring awareness and value to the Black experience. This way, white privilege is understood, sympathy and action can be taken, and then all lives will truly matter. 

STARS: Finding Effective Ways to Mitigate Police Murdering

This is a small part in my suggestion to properly recruit, train and educate police forces around the nation so that there are less unjust murders and that everyone feels safe again, especially black people. 

The situation, Friday night in Atlanta, GA, further shows that we need to really start there with the proper training. Another black man dead, another cop fired, and the chief of police resigning. None of this is a good look. 

I would start with defunding.  Defunding is explained in my latest post on www.imjustdrew.com. I want funds to be allocated to the community and for resources that will actually make certain situations better and not worse.  For instance, I would call a crisis advocate rather than 911, on someone suffering a mental breakdown. I would do the same for someone suffering with alcoholism. There needs to be a classification and not a one size fits all approach for an officer with less than two months of formal training. 

I will refer to the most recently publizied situation here. First of all, it's two cops versus an intoxicated man. How does he get the taser first of all? I would make the tasers more difficult to obtain. Second, I know of ways to stun someone running without shooting center mass and ending their life. There are tranquilizer darts (although their potency needs improvement), pepper spray (why is this no longer an open), BBs or rubber bullets to center mass and even simply a crossbow. I want to see more effective methods implemented in what some view as a "grey area". 

I am confident in what our country can do in 2020. If we are the greatest country and the land of opportunity, why is this oppression still occurs. I believe it is time to take back integrity and power from the oppressors that never earned it in the first place. 

STARS: Keep the Beat Going

Yes we've seen it for the past decade. Evil white police/racist kills black person.  Black people get pissed, post various memes, articles, scream #BlackLivesMatter. And depending on how fierce everything is, march, riot, etc.  The media drops everything they're doing for a couple of weeks and spotlights this. 

This dissipates for weeks and months until the trial comes and the punishment doesn't fit the crime, if it even went to trial. Blacks and others get pissed again, do more protests. 

Then the worse happens. Everyone is quiet until the next violent hate crime occurs. 

Now that's the biggest crime: knowing injustice doesn't stop and yet little is done to stop it. 

Well I'm fed up with it, especially since I'm biracial. If #BlackLivesMatter is going to truly stand up to its name after the band marches on here's what needs to happen. 

I plan on going deep in prayer and meditation with those I have trusted and vetted, black and white. 

I then put my thoughts together with these same people, even those involved with #BlackLivesMatter to vote, run for the proper office and create an action plan to mitigate and minimize these crimes. This includes calling, texting and writing every elected official that is responsible for allowing the police and even the police for not arresting these cruel bastards.

I don't plan on letting up when others are no longer talking about it. We have to get others involved, do more action than talking and marching. I have said this before and will say it again. I feel it is time we have folks with that true conviction in their hearts. The rest need to be called on their BS and also vetted. 

I feel once we have the officials we need in place and the powers to be hear the outcry and realize this is an unjust system, we will have a stronger police force that is properly paid and funded. There will be harsher punishments for these hate crimes and police will think twice before abusing that badge.

 

I know that then and only then will all other lives matter. The reason is because black lives will FINALLY matter and not just for show or when it's convenient.

 

Let's get to work. This is not practice nor a rehearsal. 

#BlackLivesMatter