Loving past February and Valentine's Day

This week of course is one of love, culminating with St. Valentine's Day. During most commercialized holidays, many industries make a lot of money. For this holiday, it's the candy, flower, card restaurant, spa, and hotel corporations and companies that are expected to make a killing.

A killing all in the name of love.

Love is a beautiful thing, and being in love and expressing these emotions are wonderful.  However, why must we ONLY do this once, or even a few times a year? If you love someone or something, some sort of gesture should be made everyday. 

I will start with Christians and loving the Lord. Most who know me know how I cannot stand how hype church folks get after a certain Sunday service, then I don't see nor hear them make further mention of God or Jesus until the next week. I throw Matthew 6:5-8 at them. That verse can actually be a good theme for this entire blurb, especially my next point. 

This Valentine's, you will see all sorts of flowers, candies and gifts delivered to workplaces and schools nationwide. I have two quips here: why make that type of gesture when you are going to see them that evening?, and why don't you do this regularly? It seems too many reserve this for Valentine's, birthday, anniversary, or another special occasion. 

Next is loving your fellow person. This could be your parents, children, other family members, friends, and such.  We don't show or send our affection often enough. Whenever me and my circle of friends or family get together, we always  express this, as we want to make every moment count.

Therefore, whatever you do on this holiday of love, make it count and don't use the day as an excuse to do something special.  Let us endeavor to do this everyday, even with some simple words. Now that's love. 

Lovers and New Years: Out With The Old, In With The New

We have less than one month left in the year 2012. As 2013 approaches, we reevaluate several different things and aspects of our lives. Often our love lives are one of the main things that need rejuvenation, after bodies and bank accounts.

It's very possible the very person you kiss on Christmas morning and New Year's night will not be in your life for Valentine's Day. They may not even make it into the new year with you.

There are a few scenarios to examine here. 

1. New relationship.

You have been together for six months or less. You're anxious to see what direction the relationship will take. Perhaps you two haven't been intimate yet, or you haven't met their families. Either way, there are some decisions to make to see if you make it long term with this individual.

2. Long term relationship

You have been together for a while, perhaps you live together. Maybe an engagement could be coming soon. Either way, both of you have been through a lot together and invested lots of time. If the relationship is stagnant and there is no projected growth, it may be time to reevaluate and possibly take a break or end it altogether.

3. Single and possibly lonely.

Let me also add over 30. You have been alone during the holidays for the umpeth year, perhaps by choice. You are evaluating your life and standards to ensure that in 2013 that you at least have more options. This thing shouldn't be rushed, but like a good sports coach, changes in your game plan may be necessary.

Irregardless of your situation or scenario, it is best to start now, rather than on 1-1-2013 to make adjustments, draw another game plan, and improve your romantic standing. Time waits for no one.

Doing this will ensure that you are much more prepared as you wrap up yet another year.

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Friends Can Be Lovers, Really?

Yes it is possible.

There will be many out there that will tell you friends cannot be lovers, and vice versa. It is not easy, and requires a special connection between the two parties, but it can happen.

First, each person must know their role. Feelings can get wrapped up easily and you have to balance them and balance them well. Agendas and long term plans should be thrown out the window.

Also, have a strong foundation. Life does go on for grown folks after the loving is over. These friends can help make you a better mate, tell you where you went wrong with them, and how to improve. It's almost as if you are practicing for the big game.

Also, to reinterate, you are adults, NOT teenagers. You should not burn bridges with that person unless things were really bad. Most things can and should be forgiven.

Recognize the new status in the ex-lover's life and accept it with grace. Do not relive it, and give them their space.

Ultimately, you can be lovers and friends, but not always at the same time. You will usually transition to one or the other, but not both. Going back and forth is also confusing and hurtful. Once you have taken that step, you must either date, get married, or stay friends. Adults don't play around forever. It's fun for a while, but it does get old.

So again its possible for friends to be lovers and lovers to be friends. It is a different type of friendship that requires a different type of effort and emotion. Maturity and mutual respect are required.

Finally, do not get so hung up on expressing yourself to your friend. If they do not understand and stray from you, they really weren't your friend, or at least the type of friend you needed. Ladies and gentlemen, life is short. Go for what your heart desires!

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