My mom often worries when I travel or hang out for days at a time but she's a praying woman and trusts my judgment.
I am first off a loner and have my private time even when I'm having fun. I have a vetting process locally. I see how folks interact with each other in public spots first. I also see how they interact when under the influence, how they talk about others, how they treat others. I then take this to how they behave in their own homes or the homes of others. I ALWAYS want to see how you are when others are watching and through conversing with you. If I see you don't care about my safety and well being, there's only so much and so long we are going to hang.
I wrote a chapter in "From Darkness To Sunshine" about the different types of friends. True enough, some are simply for partying and hanging out and that's all. What you have to be careful of is who to go out of town with and who else is around. That's something else I look at: where you like to hang out, what you do and the company you keep. It all has to link up and vibe, period. I've been invited to hang out with dozens of different types of people and events. I decline many due to the vibe and gut feelings being off.
I just came off of WU Homecoming 2022 and I hang regularly at Wisefire Cafe and I know a few people whose parties I will attend. These folks all share a common trait: they make me feel safe and welcome. That is a must for me. I have navigated the past 30 years and have a max of 12 such places where I feel that and one of those is my own home.
I may increase or decrease this number over the course of time but just know that I have a vetting process and I don't want to put myself into harm's way.
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