ATMs: Are They Really That Convenient?

It goes without saying that most, if not, all folks (at least those with a banking or credit union account) has a debit card. I use mine a lot, but not too much. I keep some cash on hand, especially for purchasing gas.  I rarely pay at gas pumps that charge me additional fees. Many stations, and my bank charges me up to $3 extra/time at the pump. This means more frequent trips to the ATM.

 

ATMs are usually the most crowded on paydays (1st and 16th if each month, and Thursdays and Fridays) . Once upon a time, this was a rapid way to get some quick cash from your account without having to actually see a live teller or banker. Plus they are open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, unlike banks and credit unions.   Now it seems some people have no respect or etiquette for others in regards to ATMs. Often at the drive thru, people will take the longest time! They will literally be balancing their checkbooks right there at the machine.  If not that, they are making multiple withdrawals, deposits, and the like. I believe that if you're going to do this, go inside and see the teller. These devices are for quick and easy withdrawals and deposits. One should have in mind how much money they have in their account first of all, and make an appropriate withdrawal or deposit. This doesn't have to be rocket science, especially now with online banking.

 

I normally have to plan ahead when making an ATM run just because of folks that make it inconvenient and time consuming. I don't even want to get started on the smaller banks that only have one machine at their location. During peak times (and other times), at least two are necessary. I don't think this is asking too much.

 

Often I will get cash when I pay with my debit card at Wal-Mart, Walgreens, and other such stores. I avoid fees, plus it is actually pretty convenient. I usually won't ask for large amounts for the simple fact that I know that many registers don't keep a lot of cash on hand. They are stores and not banks.

 

I usually always have a good ATM story every week as crazy things never cease to happen. I'm sure this week will be no different. Now if only my bank had an automatic teller in the local Wal-Mart. There's one in the local Prime Outlets Mall (the Yellow Mall), but I don't frequent that mall. Hence, another inconvenience for a machine designed to revolutionize how we receive and deposit monies from our accounts.

 

Love and marriage, love and marriage

Many of you know how the theme song to the hit TV show "Married With Children" goes. And there is a lot of truth behind that song. There are too many folks that believe you need money, the perfect wedding, the right house, etc, etc, to be married. They're updating their page daily on www.theknot.com, carefully planning every detail of the BIG day. That all is fine and dandy, but what about love?

It seems songwriter, musical artists, authors, etc will never run out of material to write about as long as love and marriage stays the way it currently is. This is officially the beginning of spring, and often when many weddings occur. I've already attended one wedding this year, and set to attend 4 more, one of which I will be a groomsman. I can say that these weddings include couples who are in love and are getting hitched for the right reasons. That's not always the case, however.

Marriage just isn't valued as it once was decades ago. It seems now soo many couples want to keep up with the Joneses and care more about the wedding than the marriage itself. I'm not saying the wedding shouldn't be a special, joyous occasion. You shouldn't need to go broke or deep in debt for that perfect day and/or honeymoon. Be reasonable and focus on the life that's being built.

There are two well-known statistics regarding marriage. Nearly 50% of them end in divorce. Also, nearly 50% of black women will go through their lifetime without getting married. Those are scary stats, especially if you're a black woman. Such stats have prompted guys to compile lists saying why black women aren't married. One of my friends and classmates (whom is a successful, intelligent, black woman herself) fired back with her own reasons why men aren't married. I have to say there was a lot of merit in both notes.

Now I'm 32, never been married, and I have no kids. And here's why. First of all, I didn't feel I was mentally, financially, or spiritually ready to be a husband in my 20s. I was kind of sheltered as a teen and in my early 20s, not dating very often. I wanted to get those experiences first. Next, I have yet to meet the woman that completes me that feels the same way. I feel I am an attractive man, inside and out. However, I seem to attract women that I cannot foresee a future with. Lastly, I still have some growing to do, especially when it comes to love. I'm still not ready to settle down just yet, but I'm getting closer by the day. That could be as a result of reason #2.

I do know this: when I do say "I do" I want it to be forever. I want a lady that completes me, is perfect for me, is my best friend, accepts me for who I am, and that I'm completely in love with. That day will come I know. Until then, I will wait patiently and watch and learn from the mistakes of others who didn't take marriage (or love) seriously enough.

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Lent: Not just for Catholics and a very important part of my life

This Wednesday, February 13 (the day before Valentines Day) is Ash Wednesday, also the beginning of  Lent.   Lent is the period of time between Ash Wednesday and Good Friday where people (mostly Catholics) make a sacrifice during this time. It's usually a food item or a vice such as television, movies, or a habit such as cursing or the like. Many folks worldwide that are NOT Catholic actually practice Lent now. I can say from a personal standpoint that it is a spiritual journey, and a test of faith and willpower.

I've been participating in Lent for about 10 years now. I've sacrificed various things throughout the years.  Four years ago, I gave up sweet foods. That was tough and grueling, but I made it all 40+ days. This year, I'm giving up sweet tea, and many drinks with sugar. This actually entails a lot, especially when I eat out. Many know that I enjoy my sweet tea. I have recently learned how to make it also. Can't get it as good as Mom yet, but I'm getting there. I am consuming more lean proteins and fresh fruits and veggies. I'm confident this will go well.

The most common thing for people to give up during Lent is meat. Catholics already will not eat meat on Friday, only fish. This has prompted McDonald's and other restaurant chains to put their fish sandwiches on sale. That's obviously a temptation this year. I know by March 31, those specials will end.

I actually enjoy Lent because I see how strong I am spiritually and mentally. I also get to see how dependent I am on what I'm sacrificing. When Good Friday comes, I'm able to evaluate how much I need that vice in the first place, and I often moderate my usage of it.

I would encourage anyone to give Lent a shot, but only if they're serious. It's no longer considered just a Catholic thing, but it is important and beneficial.

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Tipping, gratuity: good service should be rewarded when you go out to eat

It's the end of the weekend and it's tax season, meaning that chances are, you went out to eat recently. Not at McDonalds or Wendys or even out for pizza, but at one of the many sit-down restaurants around the country. It could have been at Waffle House or Denny's after a late night. It could have even been at Applebees, Olive Garden, or Chili's with family, friends, or that significant other. It could have even been at Ruth's Chris. Either way, when you dine in at one of these sit-down restaurants, you are expected to give your server (formerly called waiter or waitress) a tip for their service.

These aforementioned tips vary anywhere from 0 to even 25-30% of the total bill. A minimum of 15% is suggested for adequate service. One must also bear in mind that servers only get paid around $2.13/hour for their services. They basically live off tips. Being that I enjoy a sit-down meal somewhere at least once/week, plus the fact that my mother used to be a restaurant server, I know all too well the importance of tipping for a job well done.

Now how would you define a "job well done" in the restaurant business? Well you have to consider the factors that the server can control. For example, they have no control on where or how long it takes to seat you, how long your food cooks, or how much the total bill is. A server should be friendly, courteous and genuine, present you with a menu, their name, and ask you what you would like to drink. They should give you a few minutes to order (no more than 5 minutes). The typical meal takes anywhere from 10-25 minutes to cook. They should check in on you at least every 5 minutes. In short, consider it the "rule of 5". After your meal is served, they should also continue to check in on you every 5 minutes, no more than 7 minutes. And if you don't see them for 10 minutes or more, that's unacceptable, even on a super-packed evening. A member of management or a co-worker should at least check on you during this time period. If the server fulfills all of these requirements (and are cordial at least), they deserve a tip of anywhere from 15%-20%. Calculating the tip isn't that hard. Simply multiply the bill by .15, and round up the amount. For example, 15% of 19.35 is 3.35. It shouldn't hurt you to simply tip $4. Outstanding service should not, depending on the size of your own budget/wallet, be less than 20%. Sometimes you may just wanna simplify things and follow the rule of 5 and tip $5. If your bill is $25 or over, the tip will usually be around $5 or more anyways. Restaurants such as Hooters typically have different unwritten rules. Tips of 25% (or even 110% if you're with the fellas and balling) is usually recommended and expected of patrons.

Now of course bad service doesn't earn a tip. I don't care if you're 18 or 80, YOU ARE NOT obligated to reward poor service. You can either give a reduced tip (less than 15%) or not tip at all if the service was that bad. It's almost like servers are working on commission. If you don't make sales/production in a commission-type job, you do not get paid, point blank. I believe that the same rules apply in being a server, or even a bartender. Another thing I've done before and I'm not proud of was tip a penny. I was extremely angry because my server basically paid me NO attention whatsoever, did not fill my tea hardly any. I mentioned in my very first blog how much I love sweet tea, and I consume quite a bit in one sitting. She also had an awful attitude. It was the absolute worst dining experience I've had as an adult. I even told a manager afterward how dissatisfied I was. I do know folks that will tip only a penny when the service is that awful, but I believe that's unnecessary and rude. Just simply leave no tip and be sure to find a manager after the fact if things went that far south. If the manager doesn't give you any satisfaction, go above their heads, to corporate if need be. There is a right and a wrong way for getting justice.

Also, here's a little known tidbit if you're paying with a debit or credit card. Even if you're tipping with cash or gratuity has been added in (typically for parties of 8 or more), write something on that receipt anyways. There is a blank space on the receipt between the meal total and the actual total after tip or gratuity. If you're not tipping anything, write a "0" with a line drawn down the middle. Failure to do this can often cause dishonest servers and such to write whatever they want in that line. Do not become a victim of that sort of crime.

Black folks, for a variety of reasons, tend to undertip or not tip at all. I encourage black folks (even with Black History Month almost at an end and ESPECIALLY with CIAA tournament festivities in Charlotte, NC coming up this week) to please at least tip your servers 15% for adequate service, and 20% if you can. It's good practice, and shows being grateful for a job well done by the servers.

You have to also put yourselves in the shoes of those restaurant workers. They often work 8-10 hour shifts, constantly on their feet, often no breaks, and can feel worthless. Showing a little kindness (and an adequate tip) can make a difference in their day and performance.

Finally, you don't want to be the person whom they recognized from your last visit and they "accidently" drop your food on the kitchen floor and put it back on your plate and serve it to you. Karma is real, and it doesn't hurt to be kind to folks.

There is a season, turn, turn, turn,...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6jxxagVEO4

Yes sure there are seasons, no denying that. We have the basic weather seasons: Fall, Winter, Spring and Summer (although in certain parts of the USA and world, these can vary), the sports seasons: football, basketball, baseball, racing, golf, etc. There are also fashion seasons, workout plans often devoted to certain seasons, even wedding and breakup seasons. That's a lot of seasoning for something that's not usually even a food item!

Now I'm the type of person that has a hard time going by the traditional diems of a season. I'll start with my workout sessions. Now I'm no fool and I try to be fit and safe. Therefore, when it's sub 40 degrees outside, I'm not going to be outside running. That can wreak havoc on a person's joints, especially at my age. However, I know many folks that choose certain times of year to focus on certain body parts, goals, etc. For example, I know many folks that instead of trying to lose weight at the first of the year like many "Holiday Hoppers" I know, they try in the Spring and Summer, where you will usually sweat more due to warmer conditions. Then you have folks that lift weights and love to spend the winter months building mass. All of this is fine. However, a season shouldn't necessary determine what your workout plans should be, especially if you're in an indoor gym. Climate usually goes out the window then.

Then you have vacations. Many folks like to take vacations during the summer months where it's beautiful and can go to the beach, on cruises, the lake, and such. Plus for those that have children in school, and/or are schoolteachers, it's the easiest time to take time off from work. All of this I understand perfectly. This is why I will usually only take my extended vacations in any month but June, July, August, or September. So many people take that time off, and it's easier to get the time off from work during the other months. Plus, even the hotel and airline industries hike up their rates during peak vacation times. Therefore, it's much cheaper to go during the off-seasons. Also, cruises are dirt-cheap during September-October (hurricane season). I personally don't like to take that risk of going on the Carribean seas when hurricanes are running rampant. Many do, however.

I mentioned in an earlier blog of my passion for grilling. Grilling is commonly done when it's warmer weather outside (April-October). However, there are those that grill year-round, and I'm cool with that of course. I even have a friend whose father once grilled during a blizzard!

Sports makes a lot of sense far as seasons are concerned. Basketball and hockey are more popular as indoor sports when it's more colder and people just want to be inside more. Baseball, softball are better when it's warmer and the grass is alive and green. Football is similar, except it's more of a fall sport. One doesn't want to be out when it's too cold (although football in the snow can be fun), and it's kinda miserable to play and watch football in smoldering temperatures.

My thing is to use common sense when doing any type of activity, and of course availability, cost, etc. Don't let seasons, weather, affect every type of activity you may do. Once again, the two key words are common sense. I won't even get started on those that choose to leave Christmas decorations up year round. That seems to run rampant in the South.

Speaking of the South, it seems there are really 2 and a half seasons instead of four: summer, more summer, fall/winter (with some spring and summer sprinkled in once/month). That really confuses a lot more of the paradigms and theories that folks have when it comes to seasons.

New Zodiac? How can you measure love compatibility now?

I'm being sarcastic here with this title.

For generations, many folks (especially astrologists and females) have used the 12 astrological signs (Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, and Sagittarius) for various methods of comparing folks, identifying them, and measuring love compatibility. And now there's a 13th sign, Ophiuchus (for those born between November 29th and December 17th). This bumps back every other sign now according to new zodiac sign charts. Under the old standards, I was a Cancer. Now I'm supposedly a Gemini. What the heck???

I figured since today was Valentine's Day, this would be an appropriate topic to discuss. I've been suprised over the years the various ways in which women choose their mate. Finances, education, skin color (light, dark), body type, height, and now zodiac signs. The perceptions of the latter are definitely skewed now for those sorts of folks.

Zodiac and astrology should be used with caution and logic. I definitely believe the moon, Earth and stars has a profound effect on our emotions. However, the recent observation of a 13th zodiac sign proves we shouldn't have blinders on in these analyses. For example, Cancers are supposedly most compatible to Scorpios. I've been attracted to many Scorpios, but their traditional traits are that are jealous and possessive. Those are BOTH negative traits to me, so how can I be fully compatible to a Scorpio then. Could it be because I am now a Gemini? Give me a break!

Now what about horoscopes? I definitely can't find much validity in those. You can read horoscopes off of 3 different websites and out of two different newspapers. You would be hard-pressed to find any two that are exactly alike. I know I have yet to.

I'm not saying astrology and zodiac signs are complete hogwash. What I am saying is don't obscess over it and based your entire life around it. Many folks are already calling the scientist that discovered the 13th sign a nutcase. I'm not sure what to perceive of it. Except that I was born a Cancer, and I think that should make me a Cancer for life. Nothing against Geminis, but I don't wanna change to a Gemini in my 30s. That is ridiculous!

I also encourage folks to pick your mate based on your love and affection towards them and how compatible you ACTUALLY are after learning about each other, spending time together, etc. Don't use each other's signs to determine that. It does not always work well. If it did, horoscopes would be more consistent, the divorce rate would be lower, and you wouldn't have so many single folks on this day of love.

Zodiac signs can be worst than stereotyping folks based on race, size, age, etc. It's another trait if you ask me. Let's see people for people, the human race. The technology age (of which I have a love/hate relationship with) has already made society more interpersonal. If we continue to rely on ever-changing, flawed factors such as zodiac signs, things are doomed to fail.

Happy Valentine's Day and my hope is you are NOT with your Valentine's (or staying away from a potential Valentine) just because a certain indicator (not a deal-breaker, those are different) told you so. Free your mind, and use your own mind and instincts.

BONUS BLOG: 2011 53rd Annual Grammy Awards comments

-Aretha's getting honored! She's such a diva!
- LL's about to pop out of that suit.
- Don't you just like how the Grammys jumble about 10 different artists together at once, on one stage?
- Y'all still don't sound like Aretha!
- Don't forget the lyrics, Christina!
- The Grammys appears to be a geriatic experience
- Florence and the Machine looks like they could be Ron Howard's daughters
- Who else can sing "Respect" other than slim J-Hud?
- What about that outfit Christina has on?
- Not feeling that short hair Yolanda
- It's FINALLY over! That was a long tribute!
- What's wrong with Aretha anyways?
- Train, smh! That video looks like it was filmed in the NoDa district of Charlotte
- Here's "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga. She's about to hatch out of that giant egg on stage!
- Gaga's hair halfway looks normal
- Lady Gaga is ripped tho! Look at those abs and pecs!
- I'm feeling this song!
- Blake Shelton is country as cornbread
- Miranda Lambert is hot, but I'm muting and changing the channel during this performance
- Lenny Kravitz looks like a bat
- Muse???? They sound like a group that would perform during halftime of the Super Bowl
- They are wild???
- OMG, the special effects looks like Tetris!
- Of course you gotta have Ryan Secreast
- I've been waiting on this performance
- Janelle Monae, I didn't butcher your name this time!
- B.O.B.'s rocking the monocle!
- They've gone back to the 60s now!
- Get it Janelle!
- And now she's crowd surfing
- That's REAL music right there!
- Sorry, don't get too much into country
- Dang Eva, you're leaving TOO much for the imagination
- Justin Bieber didn't look like a woman back in 2007
- I loathe both Usher and Justin Bieber, but I'm watching this performance for Jaden Smith
- That's a lot of ninjas!
- The Grammys are basically one huge concert. We at home don't even see many of the awards being presented.
- Get it Jaden!
- Will and Jada are such proud parents
- Usher's sweating like a whore in church
- Muse! Muse! Muse!!!
- And the winner is MUSE!!!
- Selena Gomez looks grown
- Mumford and Sons, WTH?
- Lady Gaga wins again! Are those butt pads she's wearing?
- Now get off the stage Gaga!
- LOL @ Letterman!
- And Bob Dylan looks drunk!
- Clay Matthews! Packers baby, green and yellow!
- Lady Antebellum are butchering Teddy P's song
- Didn't know The Kings Of Leon were from Tennessee
- Jamie Foxx sounds very hoarse
- Cee-Lo Green, get it!
- Are those Muppets he's performing with?
- NBC called Cee-Lo, they want their peacock back!
- There's the soon-to-be single Katy Perry!
- And what's the deal with artists performing sitting in swings?
- Isn't Katy Perry pregnant?
- John Mayer looks like Johnny Depp
- Why is Seth Rogen talking like a robot?
- Now this is the BIG performance: Rihanna, Dre, and Eminem!!!
- Maaan they bleeped out a whole sentence from Eminem's part
- It's Dr. Dre!!! Those kicks are bright white
- Eminem and em killed it!
- Esperanza Spalding is Best New Artist! Take that, Bieber!
- But dang that dress looks like it was made by a 1st grader
- This old man from the Grammys talking is annoying #thatisall
- How has Mick Jagger went all of these decades without performing on the Grammys?
- Is this "old man night" for real?
- WTH? Barbara Streisand? Where's my trusty, mute button?
- Hope they're cheering that loudly because Barbara's gone
- OK and now for the coon portion of the awards show: Nicki Minaj. And Nicki needs to take that cotton candy off her head
- HELL YEAH!!! Eminem wins Rap Album of The Year!
- Whoa there's Beyonce'!
- So Diddy is Puff Daddy again?
- What's up with all of this fire tonight?
- There's J-Lo looking tasty
- Never heard of Arcadia Fire. They don't sound bad either
- WOW The Grammys ACTUALLY went off on time!