2011 VMA commentary

- Wait, is that Lady Gaga dressed like a man?
- OK I'm getting bored
- Finally she's singing and performing
- Justin Bieber looks very nerdy
- Is this a Westside Story spoof?
- Who's that old fart on the guitar?
- I'm feeling this song though
- NOOOO!!! Kevin Hart is helping host
- Wait, there's no host this year?
- Jonah Hill really slimmed down!
- Nicki Minaj's hair looks like a bunch of balloons
- Slick plug for your movie Moneyball, Jonah!
- Brittany has come first circle in winning the night's first award
- OTIS!!!
- Miley Cyrus, WTH?
- Who is Foster The People?
- So these VMAs have a house singer?
- It's the Dougie!
- That guy from the Beastie Boys looks like Jack Black
- We have a dance battle!
- Now Nicki is a winner, OMG!!!!
- And this is the coon portion of the show
- Beavis and Butthead, returning October 27 #ftw
- Katy Perry is fiiine!
- Please don't act a fool Kanye
- Time for Pitbull and Ne-Yo!
- Lots of women on stage
- Can anyone understand what Pitbull is saying?
- Kevin Hart is sooo corny!
- I like Katy Perry better with black hair
- Adele's got some pipes, and some talent, but her performance is boring
- Beavis and Butthead meets Nicki!
- WHAT?? Justin Bieber won?
- Gotta love Victoria Justice's legs
- Rock it Chris Brown!
- Gotta love the WU-Tang clan homage
- Chris is flying and flipping
- And Lady Gaga is still dressed like a man
- I've always thought Brittany was talented
- OK its Beyonce' time!
- This is a Beyonce' song off of "4" that I actually like
- Do it Bey!!
- Bey is pregnant!!! It's about time
- Selena Gomez has gotten waay too slim.
- Tyler the Creator (whoever that is) is now Best New Artist
- He sure is cursing a lot
- Zoe Saldona is gorgeous!
- Mo and the Giant?
- Why is Cloris Leachman with those Jersey Shore skanks?
- Wow Gaga wins! Hard to believe nearly a year ago she had just named her next album
- Hope this Amy Winehouse tribute is good
- Wow, Tony Bennett!
- I never knew Tony and Amy sang together
- Bruno Mars can sing! What a great Amy Winehouse tribute!
- Katy Perry wins again! But what is that block on her head?
- Ok now Lil Wayne!
- Weezy looks like Slash, and a lil like Lil Jon
- OK I'm ready for this to be over already
- Dang Eminem didn't even perform!

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BONUS BLOG: 2011 53rd Annual Grammy Awards comments

-Aretha's getting honored! She's such a diva!
- LL's about to pop out of that suit.
- Don't you just like how the Grammys jumble about 10 different artists together at once, on one stage?
- Y'all still don't sound like Aretha!
- Don't forget the lyrics, Christina!
- The Grammys appears to be a geriatic experience
- Florence and the Machine looks like they could be Ron Howard's daughters
- Who else can sing "Respect" other than slim J-Hud?
- What about that outfit Christina has on?
- Not feeling that short hair Yolanda
- It's FINALLY over! That was a long tribute!
- What's wrong with Aretha anyways?
- Train, smh! That video looks like it was filmed in the NoDa district of Charlotte
- Here's "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga. She's about to hatch out of that giant egg on stage!
- Gaga's hair halfway looks normal
- Lady Gaga is ripped tho! Look at those abs and pecs!
- I'm feeling this song!
- Blake Shelton is country as cornbread
- Miranda Lambert is hot, but I'm muting and changing the channel during this performance
- Lenny Kravitz looks like a bat
- Muse???? They sound like a group that would perform during halftime of the Super Bowl
- They are wild???
- OMG, the special effects looks like Tetris!
- Of course you gotta have Ryan Secreast
- I've been waiting on this performance
- Janelle Monae, I didn't butcher your name this time!
- B.O.B.'s rocking the monocle!
- They've gone back to the 60s now!
- Get it Janelle!
- And now she's crowd surfing
- That's REAL music right there!
- Sorry, don't get too much into country
- Dang Eva, you're leaving TOO much for the imagination
- Justin Bieber didn't look like a woman back in 2007
- I loathe both Usher and Justin Bieber, but I'm watching this performance for Jaden Smith
- That's a lot of ninjas!
- The Grammys are basically one huge concert. We at home don't even see many of the awards being presented.
- Get it Jaden!
- Will and Jada are such proud parents
- Usher's sweating like a whore in church
- Muse! Muse! Muse!!!
- And the winner is MUSE!!!
- Selena Gomez looks grown
- Mumford and Sons, WTH?
- Lady Gaga wins again! Are those butt pads she's wearing?
- Now get off the stage Gaga!
- LOL @ Letterman!
- And Bob Dylan looks drunk!
- Clay Matthews! Packers baby, green and yellow!
- Lady Antebellum are butchering Teddy P's song
- Didn't know The Kings Of Leon were from Tennessee
- Jamie Foxx sounds very hoarse
- Cee-Lo Green, get it!
- Are those Muppets he's performing with?
- NBC called Cee-Lo, they want their peacock back!
- There's the soon-to-be single Katy Perry!
- And what's the deal with artists performing sitting in swings?
- Isn't Katy Perry pregnant?
- John Mayer looks like Johnny Depp
- Why is Seth Rogen talking like a robot?
- Now this is the BIG performance: Rihanna, Dre, and Eminem!!!
- Maaan they bleeped out a whole sentence from Eminem's part
- It's Dr. Dre!!! Those kicks are bright white
- Eminem and em killed it!
- Esperanza Spalding is Best New Artist! Take that, Bieber!
- But dang that dress looks like it was made by a 1st grader
- This old man from the Grammys talking is annoying #thatisall
- How has Mick Jagger went all of these decades without performing on the Grammys?
- Is this "old man night" for real?
- WTH? Barbara Streisand? Where's my trusty, mute button?
- Hope they're cheering that loudly because Barbara's gone
- OK and now for the coon portion of the awards show: Nicki Minaj. And Nicki needs to take that cotton candy off her head
- HELL YEAH!!! Eminem wins Rap Album of The Year!
- Whoa there's Beyonce'!
- So Diddy is Puff Daddy again?
- What's up with all of this fire tonight?
- There's J-Lo looking tasty
- Never heard of Arcadia Fire. They don't sound bad either
- WOW The Grammys ACTUALLY went off on time!

BONS BLOG: 2010 American Music Awards

-Is that a bathrobe that Rihanna is wearing?
- What is that she's sitting on, a tree?
- Rihanna isn't the best singer but she sure is fiiine!
- Man that was a loong performance
- Waddup with Heidi Klum's hair?
- Usher, smh
- OK get off the stage already Usher, you thanked everyone but your maid and driver
- Is Lady Gaga not present tonight?
- Dang Jenny!
- Of course the Black-Eyed Peas (i.e, Fergie, Will, and those "other" two guys) won!
- Will I.A.M., is that hat made of Leggos?
- There's one of the gays from Modern Family
- Lasers are getting sooo played out
- Was that John Mayer in the audience?
- OK Miley Cyrus are you yourself or Hannah Montana?
- Are they trying to summon the ghosts of music past with all of these candles?
- And Miley, Grandma Moses wants her wardrobe back
- OK so now Diddy is called Diddy Dirty Money?
- Who was that gal singing b4 Diddy came on?
- Diddy's son looks just like him
- I'm Coming Home, I'm Coming Home!
- Oh snap, Jessica Alba's gonna be on Little Fockers!
- Taylor Swift wins an AMA. Protect the stage! #Kanyeshrug
- Taylor looks anorexic
- Samuel L. Jackson, you MFers!
- Kid Rock can actually sing! #WOW
- He's not as scruffy anymore either
- Christian Milian, my homie's crush! What a short, sexy skirt!
- Can't wait for that new Black-Eyes Peas album, even with all of the autotune!
- This performance makes me wanna see Tron now
- Why has Katy Perry got a Children's Choir behind her?
- Katy sounds a little off-key right now
- WHOA Katy!! Look at that red catsuit!
- Does Nicki Minaj thinks she's Lady Gaga, Lil Kim or both?
- OK Nicki that was an EXTREMELY inappropriate promo for your new album #epicfail
- Wait, Rihanna doesn't have soul!
- Time to change the channel, it's Justin Bieber, complete with his golden mic
- Mandy Moore, where have you been?
- I thought country singers wore black cowboy hats, not white
- Bon Jovi, still at it!
- Loving those lightning bolts!
- The crowd is REALLY feeling Bon Jovi's performance, especially Jenny McCarthy!
- It's My Life!
- Justin Bieber, award #1
- There's the much slimmer Kelly Osbourne!
- Pink always brings her A game at awards shows
- I'll bet Pink's baby daddy Carey Hart helped design that performance set
- Now we have Ne-Yo trying to bite off of MJ's dance moves
- OK Ne-Yo are you gonna do that gal on stage?
- Taylor Swift's on, time to be bored
- Keri Hilson is sooo beautiful!
- Justin Bieber, ANOTHER award!
- Now I believe I wanna see Burlesque
- Some of this material is NOT even appropriate for adults, let alone children
- Lady Antebellum has broken through!
- Swedish House Mafia? *blank stare and face*
- I haven't heard of any of these alternative groups
- Train is sooo old!
- And Train actually has soul sisters hopping on stage
- And there's Michael Buble', haven't heard of him since the Grammys
- Now the awards show is starting to go in the can. Ke$ha? WTH?
- They're putting a lot of old, classic artists on this year's show. Looks like halftime of a Super Bowl. Mostly coonery and foolery free though
- Santana is a beast on that guitar!
- And NO awards show is complete without Ryan Secreast!
- NOOOOO Bieber!!! This show should be renamed the Justin Bieber awards
- Good gesture Usher!
- Been waiting on this performance. Backstreet Boys are still better!

BONUS BLOG: 2010 VMA Comments

- Bring on Eminem!!!
- That looks like the shelter from 8 Mile, and it's Rabbit!
- Eminem's age is really showing now
- That's a lot of drummers on stage
- WTH Rihanna? She looks like a red-headed She-Ra from the 80s
- Rihanna needs to quit trying to perform live #epicfail
- Is tonight's theme "fire?"
- OK yet another awards show in LA *side eye*
- Why is everyone backstage trying to smack Chelsea on her flat butt?
- Lindsay Lohan? Oooookaaay
- Chelsea really needs to drop Barbie's dreamhouse.
- Hey is that only one dove? And that was a pitiful ONE at that
- Chelsea sounds hoarse but she can't be worse than Russell Brand, can she? Someone please give her a cough drop
- There's Jane Lynch in the audience. She's blowing up lately
- "Turn this mother out" died out 10 years ago
- Everyone will be saying "leotarded" tomorrow
- Where's Beyonce'?
- Did she just call Kanye a "big black elephant?"
- Waddup with the red Power Ranger?
- OK now Chelsea gets a ride off stage by Rick Ross on his, uhh, wheelchair?
- Thus far this awards show favors the Gay Pride parade
- Lady Gaga or Katy Perry has this award in the bag. And it's Lady Gaga! I actually like "Bad Romance"
- OK the first curse-word of the night just got bleeped out
- Katy Perry looks kinda upset
- What is that on Lady Gaga's head? She looks like a peacock
- And now Chelsea is thanking the gays
- That lineup of new artists is disgraceful, except for Jason Derulo. Is this our musical future?
- Justin Bieber looks like Richie Cunningham with that get up. Was the Fonz unavailable?
- There's gonna be a Jackass 3D?
- They just pimp-slapped Bam Margera in that preview
- I'm glad 30 Seconds to Mars won, they're very talented
- Wait a minute that dude looks like Charles Manson
- Dang Kim Kardashian even has booty from the front!
- Justin Bieber, the 1950s want their clothes and car back, please and thank you!
- His voice is hurting my eardrums. I'm muting the TV and checking the score of the Cowboys/Redskins game
- Now I thought this was supposed to be a show from the future. It seems the other way around
- OK I see on stage what appears to be the Apollo kids and the backstage dancers from High School Musical
- This ain't New Year's Day, so why the red streamers?
- Ke$ha and Trey Songz, two of the young icons/heartthrobs
- Ke$ha's dress is made from trashbags #fact #OMGfacts
- And here's Usher. MJ, you ain't, so stop trying!
- This must be the futuristic performance they promised
- Hope no one that's epileptic is watching this performance. There is more flickering during Usher's performance than an 80s video game
- However, Usher always does have the sexiest stage dancers
- This song sounds like a remix of "Kernkraft 400"
- B.O.B. looks like Mick Lowry, I just now noticed this
- Now Chelsea is cracking on Farnsworth Bentley. I need to google this cat and see what happened to him
- Hearing Nicki Minaj's voice is making my IQ drop a few points
- YEAH!!! Eminem won a VMA!
- I believe Disney is gonna sue MTV for the fake Mickey Mouse (i.e., freaky Mickeys)
- Didn't know Jason Derulo was a black guy. And autotune is getting really played out.
- Florence and Machine? She really looks drunk
- These ladies sound too familar, like a 90s Lillith fair group
- Dang Travis McCoy, that cat in the background looks like it's trying to get you
- Is that Danny Devito up on the platform?
- OK now I know I REALLY must watch Glee
- Looks like Lady Gaga's gonna dominate these awards
- I believe Gaga borrowed Ke$ha's trashbag dress and added some extensions
- Lady Gaga is totally biting Chucky V's hairstyle right now
- Was that really Rosario Dawson?
- Taylor Swift appears to have gone back to the 1940s
- This song is dragging out too long
- We all know that's a hairpiece Justin Bieber!
- Can't wait for that FB movie "The Social Network" to come out. But Justin Timberlake? Interesting
- Mary J performing? This should be good
- Did they take those outfits from the cast of "Takers"?
- I like Drake, this song is ok, but I REFUSE to go around saying "You fancy huh?"
- Wait a minute, professional VMAs?
- Does Jason Derulo have a Glo-stick on his hand?
- Did Chelsea just call the cast of Jersey Shore "America's Greasy Sweethearts"?
- Heck yeah it's Sofia Vergara from Modern Family! Can never get enough of Al Bundy's new TV wifey
- Eminem wins again!
- Did Selena Gomez and Ne-Yo intentionally coordinate their wardrobes?
- Gotta love Bruno Mars's hair
- B.O.B. is hollering like Fat Joe or PUN
- OK we now know what happened to Eurthymtics. Remember "Sweet Dreams" from the 80s?
- Victoria Justice is quite the cub #thatisall
- NOOOO!! Bieber won Best New Artist!
- Now's there some good music: Linkin Park!
- But what's the deal with the green fog? Looks like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' lair
- CHER???? Does she always come out half-naked?
- Lady Gaga, just as I predicted earlier, dominated tonight's VMAs, and nabbed Video of the Year
- Lady Gaga's new album is entitled "Born This Way". Really, you were born that odd and weird?
- But she is dang talented
- Here comes Kanye FINALLY!
- Kanye looks like Satan with all of that red on
- So Kanye, according to your song lyrics, you're toasting yourself? Still got quite the ego
- These ballerinas are creeping me out
- Why is Kanye doing autotune now?
- Chelsea was silly and dingy, but still a better host than Russell Brand
- Awards shows, especially musical awards show, are just not the same anymore