Let's Get Ready To Rumble: Mother and Child Edition

Many of us get into it with our mothers from time to time.Even as adults, we may not still curse or talk back to them. But there has seemingly been a collective head bumping since puberty that seems to take decades to taper off.

I can speak from experience here. My mom and I have gotten really heated at times. We have had to fall back from each other for often days at a time. Yes we have an awesome relationship but it's not all peaches and cream.

It seems like girls are more than likely to fight and fuss with their mothers, while guys typically want to be more protective and quiet.  Also with guys, you want to treat your mother well. That's where it starts as a child. You will tend to treat other women well.

Here are four quick tips on facilitating the healing after a blowout with your mom.

1. Distance

Realize what has happened and back away from the situation. Trust me here. Give it a day or two, then talk it out like civilized adults.

2. Admit your shortcomings.

Yes when mama's unhappy, everybody is, even when she's in the wrong. Admit your own faults, and try to find common ground. 

3. Let It Go

Sometimes it's simply not that crucial to be getting all upset about. It could also have long term effects. You may win the battle, but you'll lose the war. Choose your words and battles carefully and know when to leave it alone.

4. End the altercation in peace.

This is the hardest but after common ground, find some peace in the midst of conflict. You may need a buffer to assist,  but you don't wanna leave things too tense for too long. Most of us want peace and not war anyways, especially with the person that brought us into this world.

Remember fights are often inevitable but there's usually nothing beyond repair. Keep it moving and don't stop loving your mother. You only have one after all.

What is the worst fight you and your mother ever had? How did you deal with it?

Where Are The Parents?

This is not an easy topic to write about, but sadly it's a common epidemic in our country. The number of not only absent fathers, but also absent mothers in households, is growing at a rapid-fire pace. More children are being raised by one parent, grandparents, relatives, or even foster care and group homes.

Many call it the destruction of the modern American family as seen in the 1950s-late 1970s era. It seemed when divorce became more common, as did casual sex, so did unplanned and often unwanted pregnancies. We now have the byproduct of these behaviors.

Today's youth has gotten out of control. Improper parenting is definitely a huge reason for this. You have to find the root of the problem, and the parents (or lack thereof) are this root.

I'm not yet a parent, but I was raised by a wonderful single mother. I lost my father when I was only a toddler, so I saw my mother raise myself and my brother the hard way. She had help from my grandmother, but she held her own.

Statistics regarding deadbeat and absent parents are staggering. 70% actually do pay some form of child support. Over 30% grow up without a father. There are over 20 million children worldwide who grow up with only one parent, or no parents at all. Mentors, grandparents and other surrogates are helpful. Sadly, though, it seems many children never receive the proper love and discipline. They then become troubled adults who end up doing their own children the same way. It's a vicious cycle.

The odds and factors were against me growing up. However, I didn't fall victim to the common pitfalls. Many other products of broken homes haven't either. The chains and stereotypes can be broken. I'm living and breathing proof.

I'm also proud to say that of the people I closely associate myself with, not one of them is a deadbeat parent. They are in their child's lives, taking care of them and raising them up properly. Many of my friends have even raised children that weren't even theirs. They definitely see the problem and want to be part of the solution.

Having an absentee parent doesn't doom your chances for success. There are too many examples to back this claim up. However, the hope is to do better once you have your own children, or at least try. It is hard to understand why a parent would willingly give up their seed.

Children are a blessing, and parents do make a difference. More responsible parental figures are needed. Being a parent truly is a privilege, one that I look forward to, and hope and wish that more people would value.