Being that this is Sunday and the Lord's day in many eyes, hearts, and minds, church is a major part of Sunday. Some folks, regardless of their relationship with the Lord, pack churches mainly out of habit. They've been doing it for years, and they feel weird when they're not there.
I can't chalk it up to getting older, the church and overall way folks have changed in the 21st century or both. But the modern church has changed now and NOT for the better. It is become more of a business, very corporate, flooded with crooked ministers, shady, hypocritical members, and more drama than the WWE, Facebook, and SOAP.net combined. It seems God is no longer on the forefront. And folks wonder why I don't currently attend church. I will come clean in this blog and explain why I PERSONALLY do not choose to attend church.
First, I have to explain how great church was, and still can be. I grew up in the church. My late grandmother was a devout, religious Christian, attending church every time the doors were open. She never made me attend church, but highly encouraged it. And I loved it then. The fellowship, playing with the children before and after services, Sunday School, VBS, church dinners, etc. Church was soo great then and people were loving and God-fearing. Then I grew up.
I remember how one church had wronged my grandmother over and over again, even after she became disabled. The pastor came to my grandmother's house just weeks after she suffered a stroke and talked down to her like she were a child. My grandmother was a Sunday School teacher (a dang good one too) and she basically said some things in her lesson that stepped on some toes. She didn't call anyone out, but sometimes the truth hurts. Anyways, some of the "inner circle" inside of that church complained to the pastor, and the pastor took their side. My grandmother then left that church. However, my mother still went to that church a few years later. She felt more comfortable in that small, country environment, rather than the bigger church my grandmother and I were now attending. She was disrespected and ostracized by the members and the pastor because she couldn't attend all the time, and judged wrongly due to petty issues. My mother no longer felt comfortable there as she felt the wrath of the inner-circle and favortism working against her.
I then experienced problems of my own within the church. You see, I try to avoid drama at all causes, and my focus was (and still is) worshipping the Lord and receiving His message. However, when I can't do either peacefully and openly, there's a problem. The church I was at was (and still is) a good church. I was there for years. However, it was my family church, therefore most of my family attended that church. It seemed like I couldn't raise my hand in worship at a certain time without getting snotty looks, judgments, or a phone call to my mom and grandma. As the young folks say now, #wheredeydothatat? Also, I had been undergoing changes for a while. You see, I grew up Pentacostal, in the Church of God. Yes that's right, the shouting, speaking in tongues, fire-breathing sermons, so on and so forth. However I began to realize that denomination shouldn't be the reason you worship God. It's about his love, his lessons and teachings, and the fact that he sent Jesus to die on the cross for our sins.
Having all of these thoughts in my head, I left my family church and became non-Denominational. I just couldn't belong to a church where 90% of my family belonged, were in my business all the time, plus subscribed to a certain denomination. You see, Christianity has become a big joke now. You have Pentacostals, southern Baptists, independent Baptists, AME Zion, Presbyterians, Methodists, etc. What people fail to realize is WE ALL WORSHIP THE SAME GOD IN CHRISTIANITY!!! When you lose sight of that and your spirituality, you are missing out. Your heart might be the right place, but your mind must wake up.
When my beloved grandmother passed in 2004, I decided to give church another try. I went to a non-Denominational church that was all I was asking for: free and open worship, not subscribing to a religion, getting away from traditional church service but not the traditional message. I even knew the minister and liked him. However, that church lacked structure and organization. It appeared an inner-circle of few tried to take over the church once the Pastor left. They even had it rationalized since one of them was an ordained minister. However, none of the church members voted on it. Heck I was there 7 months and they never even made me a member. That was very sad. I wasn't kept informed on much of anything: church happenings, gatherings, prayer meetings. Basically, if it wasn't in the church program, I didn't know about it. I got tired of that mess and left by the end of the year.
I then tried another church a couple of months later. It appeared to have the elements I mentioned earlier, plus a lot of more organization and order. Too much order, as I would later learn. This church was quite a piece of work as I would also learn later. The pastor and his wife were evangelists so they would, in addition to Sunday morning worship and Wednesday Bible study, often have services out of town 3-4 nights a week. These services would be as far away as Forest City, NC, and they expected their members to attend. Now at the time I was evaluating the church to become a member, I didn't realize the church was like this. It seemed once I became a member, it was completely different. It was difficult for me to make certain services as I lived 30 minutes away from the church. Plus they had funding issues at the building they were at, and would always ask every Sunday for a $20 offering from everyone, in addition to tithes. When that was ineffective, they toyed with the idea of making folks bring in their check stubs and tax statements to ensure that they were tithing properly.
The pastor there was also quite a piece of work. He was a talented, charismatic minister, teacher and musician. However, he had an attitude problem and was very aggressive. He got sooo ridiculous that used to get onto me for using the restroom during altar call (by get onto, I mean publicly call out for the ushers to block the doors so I couldn't get out). That's when I just about had it. I mean, seriously, how and why can you tell an adult NOT to use the bathroom during services? That never did sit right with me. I let that persist for a couple of more weeks, even sought the advice of some Christian warriors in my life. Within a month, I left that church.
Some of you are probably thinking "well Drew you just haven't found the right church, you can't give up on God, etc, etc". I say well back the truck up there! I have NEVER given up on God. Just because you don't attend church doesn't mean you've given up on the Lord! Give me a break! I have just grown tired of being around hypocrites, crooked ministers, unfocused, fake Christians. That's not what God intended for his church to be about. If one reads carefully in Matthew, it says nothing about these things being part of the church, nor does it say you will be condemned for not attending church. Personally I read my Bible daily (especially Proverbs) thanks to my Bible app on my BB, I watch Joel Osteen weekly, I pay my tithes to charitable organizations and other Christian avenues that need them. Lastly, I associate myself not only with Godly folks, relatives, friends, and ministers alike, but REAL, HONEST folks who I know I can trust and aren't hypocrites. I've already did a blog on "Keeping it 100?" so by now you should know that honesty is important all around for me. It is no different in regards to the Lord.
I'm ashamed of how the church is now. Corrupted by inner circles, Aunt Esthers, crooked ministers, the mega-church system, hypocrisy, prejudice, and I could go on (Heck I already have). It is frustrating to me to see how church is now. I do attend a few live services a year, but I feel that my way is good as well. Only God can judge me and my spirituality.
By no means am I trying to get anyone to stop attending church. I just get tired of folks looking down their noses at me and feeling I'm a heathen just because I'm not in church every time the door is open. Well to you I say this in closing. I know who I am, my relationship with the Lord, my Bible, and I do what is required of me, in spirit and my heart. Please sweep besides your own front door first before coming to mine. Thank you and good night!
