Tuesday, May 9, 2023

Debbie Lanier's Life and Tales: Part 1: Parenthood

This is a series dedicated to my mom and stories of many of the things she loved and enjoyed.  Part 1 will focus on parenthood as she truly enjoyed being a mom and this is close to Mother's Day. 

My mom had several good times, 24 years worth of them prior to giving birth to me, her eldest child. She would often say she felt like her life began when she had me. She had her own child to love, cherish, and mold.

She was known to watch me and other children all the time, especially while sleeping. Many parents look forward to the day when their children can walk, talk, etc. My mom truly enjoyed our infant days the most as she didn't want us to grow up. Even as I my brother and I grew up to be adult men, she wanted us close by. She cherished every moment we had with her. She was the type of mom that looked forward to summer because of the weather and her kids would be at home. She cried everyday of the first day of school because although she worked, she loved having us home in the home she made for us. 

She loved to cook for anybody and everybody. Cooking was definitely her love language, something she did in small forms until she passed. Rarely a Sunday or holiday passed where she didn't have a big meal.  She loved having her cabinets and fridge full so she could fill the stomachs of others with her world famous biscuits, veggies, the meat of choice and her sweet tea. She was simple but put so much love in her meals that is rarely seen. If myself, my brother or anyone requested her to cook something, she would do it. Mom also baked cakes for others, sent food to those in need and always let anyone know if they need a hot meal or a place to stay for a spell they could call on her. 

My mom was truly the neighborhood mom that fought for, loved and advocated for children.  She didn't miss a school event, ball game nor fundraiser. She was a very active parent, one that did it alone for a number of years and made it look easy. Mom didn't use her boys as an excuse to be late or not to come. We were often early after she gave us the rundown on how to behave and what not to touch. She expected us to conduct ourselves properly. 

I don't like to criticize nor condemn parenting styles. It is hard for me not to look at my mom's style and not consider it a blueprint for parenting. She didn't have as much money nor resources as the modern parent. However, we were always clothed and fed, even after school, had a steady home, healthy home life and lots of love. My mom went all in once I was born and exceeded the expectations. She never used us as a crutch nor said we held her back. We were her life and she loved that. I'm blessed that I had that mother in my life and corner. I'm not a father but I would certainly use much of what she taught with my children. 

Happy Mother's Day to my mom and all of the mothers! You all deserve the praise for the sacrifices you have made.

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