STARS: Improving My Skin Health and Texture

I am a heterosexual man that gets body waxes. Big shout out to my esthetican Carla Hearn for not only opening my eyes to this importance but also to regular skin care. 

Two years ago when I begin seeing Carla she noticed a lot of discomfort, red skin and ingrown hairs. This came from over 20 years of shaving and clipping my body hairs which I didn't know can damage skin look and quality.  I then followed her recommendations and advice. 

I invested in tools to help with exfoliation. I bought and use Dove exfoliating body wash (in the light blue top), exfoliating gloves and sponges. These are all inexpensive and the rewards are endless. I apply body wash to the sponges and gloves and scrub my areas before I shower 3-4 times per week. This removes any excess skin, prevents ingrown hairs from growing and fosters heavy skin and regrowth. 

I've been doing this for nearly a year and now I see how much better looking and feeling my skin is. Additionally my sessions with Carla are much smoother and pain free. Waxing can be a painful process but thanks to the tips Carla offered, it has been very healthy and smooth!

STARS: Building My Credit To A Stellar Level

I used to have horrible credit. I was in my early 20s with credit card debt and a repossessed car. I had to hit the reset button on most everything. 

I knew I had to grind and pound pavement the hard way. 

For 10 years, I saved as much money as I could from my checks, some weeks it was 20%, others up to 50%. 

I paid down and ahead as much debt as I could, including my next car. I paid that off in 5 years on an 8 year plan. 

I got a couple of credit cards to build more credit, a safety net, kept one paid off and never closed any I opened. 

I had other assets such as land and stocks to get me back into position. 

My credit score went from a 500 to a 740 over the course of a decade. I did it the simple way, worked hard, worked overtime, had side income and made it happen.

STARS: How I learned how to drive safely and effectively

I am a safe, brave driver that can navigate any road carefully. I've been at this for over 30 years now. 

I am all over the place.  I started in my main yard and road at a young age. I wanted to be ready for my driver's test. 

I drove on my back road 2-3 times per week and then eventually went to Hickory Grove and Sharon where the traffic was lighter. I practiced 3 point turns and parallel parking in my grandma's yard. I was only unprepared for checking mirrors which was a quick solve. I received my driver's license the second time I drove. 

It's hard to believe I've been a licensed driver for 28 years with minimal tickets, warnings and accidents.  I simply use safe driving methods and practice those every time I'm behind the wheel. 

STARS: How I readjusted my career path and the long term plans I have in place

I reflect from my week off from work and I see how what I've did and accomplished the past two decades in the workplace is astonishing and inspiring.  I still have more goals; however I'm a long way from where I came from. 21 years ago, I was working as a temp associate for Vocational Rehabilitation and was about to be hired by The Robert Allen Group in Gaffney, SC. 

My initial goal was to return to school for my MBA or even my M.Ed and buy myself a car since I was between cars. I also wanted to learn to save and live within my means. I didn't make much money for two years and my mom helped with many gaps. I kept my living expenses low without any frills. I had my bare bone basics and that was it and continue to build brick by brick. 

I always expected my time with The Robert Allen Group to be a segway to another opportunity where I could grow and advance my career. It was a job that allowed me to improve my credit score by 300 points and live a better life financially. However with 2 recessions and me earning my MBA 5 years in, I knew I deserved more. The motivation came further once my hours and pay were cut. Fortunately I was making more than I was when I started in 2003. 

2015 (12 years later), I got my chance as I was hired on by Amazon. I knew advancement and financial satisfaction was more of a reality. 9 years and 4 stations later, I've advanced into lower-middle management with stocks and assets, 3 paid off cars, 2 cars bought brand new, most of my debt paid for, in line for my 4th promotion in 5 years, and living in a manner that was a far cry two decades ago. 

I simply didn't give up, plugged into the proper folks that would help me grow and develop and I continued improving myself professionally, socially, spiritually and physically. The skills, experience and mentorship have been second to none from Robert Allen to Amazon. I feel I haven't been promoted and blessed until I was ready and that's what has manifested for me. 

I'm unsure of where the remainder of my work career will take me but I have developed the tools, maturity and experience to help with challenges and adversity. 

STARS: How I Have Controlled and Channeled My Anger

Some of you wouldn't believe it but I have anger issues. I've had them since childhood. I've been able to challenge them in different ways and few see that side of me. Prior in one year I was in trouble for high school for getting into 4 fights all on defending myself. I've committed violent acts, been temporarily banned from places and reprimanded. 

When I was in school, I had to have a come to Jesus moment with myself and find ways to channel my anger and temper. The Bible, church and the Lord helped out there. I surrounded myself with calm and stoic folks. I knew which spaces I couldn't act out in and had to learn to talk to people like I had sense. Playing football and poetry also were later outlets that helped. 

I went to anger management as a young adult and have been in therapy for over 20 years.  I have also read parts of "The Art of War". Additionally I go to the gym, meditate, and have creative outlets such as writing and painting. I also make sure I eat and sleep regularly and healthy to mitigate any angry feelings. 

In 30 years I haven't been into a physical altercation and in 20 years I haven't physically harmed anyone.  In just the past year I have reduced negative interactions and arguments by 40%. It's all about control and discipline just as most things are. Your mind is a powerful tool and must be used appropriately 

Debbie Lanier's Life and Times: Vol. 34- HASH

Yes my mom liked the smoking hash. She liked the hash you eat equally. 

This week is one week since Mom passed so I decided to resume this series for this week. 

My mom ensured she got hash every 4th of July from CKC Fire Department or from Hickory Grove. My grandpa and uncle both knew how to make it also. 

Ten years ago, I started learning how to make it. Mom assisted also. It took me a year and a half to perfect but once I did Debbie didn't eat anyone else's hash unless it was a charitable cause. I made it 2-3 times/years and even for friends. 

I've made 2 batches since her passing and may make one for Memorial Day. Debbie loved having her pint of hash and eating it on one slice of Sunbeam King Thin folded over. 

I'm getting together on the anniversary date with friends celebrating another friend's birthday eating hash. I know if Mom were here she would want some and would send money. What a way to honor her and the birthday girl!

STARS: How I Have Improved My Concidence and Interaction With Women

I often talk of my earlier struggles socializing with women. Now I look at how many female connections I have: romantic, platonic, etc. 

I had to place myself into the proper place and space. Yes I'm biracial but that didn't matter in Blacksburg in the 80s and 90s. I was black and there was only so much talking I should do to those outside my race. I also became big on who's big on me. The darker females have always given me more attention. Over the years the lighter women showed me more attention as I exuded confidence and self love. 

This confidence came from being at the WU around women from all over the world. I was embraced and loved moreso than my small town. I spoke to and plugged into various folks who hyped me and guided me. 

I went from having barely 3-4 female connections to over 50 connections over the past 30 years: exes, friends, crushes, professional connections, friends that are family. I'm very blessed. 

I still struggle and I don't consider myself a ladies man. I do have adequate confidence and self love..