Domestic Violence: Let's All Be Accountable

It has been a strong narrative for a while about battered women, women that don't or can't get out and end up getting killed or seriously harmed.

Given all that I have seen happen over the years, this has been weighing heavily on my mind and heart this week. I have even went back and did more research to ensure I didn't miss any detail or leave any stone unturned.

It comes down to this: at its core, we are ALL responsible as adults.  We have to check on and take care of each other in these situations, men and women. We have to be better partners, lovers, people. If there are emotional and psychological issues, we have to seek help and get it.

Also, we have to screen out people better. People do come with warning labels and often instructions. These come in the forms of abusive and violent pasts, quick tempers, uneasy demeanors, bad energy. so on and so forth. If you wouldn't be around that person as even an associate, why do you have that person as a romantic partner.

Furthermore, there are more resources now than ever regarding shelters, crisis counters and hotlines. You shouldn't have to stay in a bad situation without first trying to get out. There are options and you don't need to be subjected to poor behavior of any kind.

Finally, there are limits to what you can do as a person. Adults will be with who they want. You can offer them help, guidance, resources, etc. But until they want to start helping themselves also and removing themselves from these situations, your efforts are falling on deaf ears.

Let's continue to educate and talk to each other calmly about this issue. It can be controlled if we fight it.

Vacation tips and even quick savings methods

I have been off for quite a while celebrating my birthday. It feels good to be 40 and to still be doing what I love to do. One of those is traveling.

Speaking of traveling, here are some pointers to maximize your travel experience:

1. Whether through spending or planning, start early and often. You cannot do this last minute and have a great experience. Especially if you're traveling out of the country.  You have to have all of your expenses covered, vacation time at work approved (or if you're an entrepreneur, plan around that), get your passport straightened out and have spending money.

2. Save about $10-$20/week to assist towards your expenses. Give up eating out at lunch or even dinner. Coupon more, use travel and dinner deals, and shop at places like Aldis and Old Navy. Once you go on that vacation, you'll be glad you tightened up.

3. Sign up more for overtime at your job, do some legal side hustles, just anything for extra money. This is your play money. I have kept a play money account for years. It's all in how you budget or save.

4. Get a low interest travel credit card. You won't see me pushing a credit card often at all but this type of card can give you bonuses and such on hotel, transportation and often food and beverage on vacations. 

5. Final tip: have your house safe and secure before you leave.  The best method is to get a housesitter and not post anything on social media until you return. Yes you can take all the precautions you want. But if no one but a select few knows that you're gone, it can prevent many accidents from happen.

That say, save your money, take that trip and have fun!

All These Lanes

Yeah it's hot, I'm old and I'm mad.

I've been doing a great job maintaining my irritation.  But someone is always trying my goodnatured demeanor. 

Here are a few points of interest (may need to add them to the instruction manual)

1. If you haven't spoken to me in months, address me properly. Don't embarrass me, berate me, etc

2. If you're talking to me in person, #1 still applies

3. Mind your business. If it doesn't apply to you, step off. Let certain authorities handle it

4. Don't talk down to me, be condescending or catch a tone or attitude with me. It won't end well, trust me.

5. If you're feeling angry, moody or whatever, take a pause, gather your thoughts and return back later so we can have a civil conversation

6. Don't be all in the Kool-aid and not know the flavor.  When you come for and/or at me, know what you're talking about.

7. Sweep around your own front porch before you try to point out my flaws and mistakes. None of us are perfect..

8. Finally, don't insult my intelligence or play a game of wits with me. I can play also and again, it won't end well.

Ok just so we're all clear here. I will go full Drew and have zero tolerance for nonsense. So take that mess somewhere else. You're only making yourself look foolish.

Check In

For my friends and family that have left me suddenly.  Depression and mental illness are real and people need to know they are loved and valued. 

Check In

Hello, just wanted to see what's all good
Hope you didn't do what I thought you would
Remember you did all you can and could
Life is precious but also hectic
People will try and get to you with every tactic
Often saying nothing says it all
They were definitely waiting on your downfall
You're here, I'm here so let's talk
No judgment, let the words flow, no one is at fault
You have to live and be you
No one does that better than you do
Reach out to me as well
Don't feel like I'm too busy or going through Hell
Talking to you can be good for both of us
I couldn't imagine if you didn't take another breath, word or fuss
You're you and I want to know how all is
I like to drink the drink before there is no fizz
Let me or someone know that you're okay
And maybe then, one less life spared, more words to say

Tense

So blessed to be doing open mics again. Thanks to Thomas Dover (no relation) and the great folks at WiseFire Cafe for making this happen. Here is a brand new piece

Tense

It really doesn't make sense
We want peace, we want love, and yet we're still tense
You're mad because you lost
You work for a cruel and horrible boss
It's burning up hot outside
You would rather be near the ocean watching the tide
Very few count their blessings when they should
Or smell the flowers when they could
Life is a battlefield, stay ready
Keep the car running and the pace steady
It's not over yet, life that is
Yours doesn't have to end, much is still amiss
Smell the aroma, look at the sky, be calm
Don't take everything at it's word, even the marks on your palm
The world's changing, be the voice of reason
It's much needed in a place of treason

Cool Summer Getaways

This is beach, lake and waterpark time, there's no doubting that. However, this is also the time to explore cooler options. It's safer and you can go there without freezing.

1. Mountains

My area is near the Western North Carolina and Blue Ridge Mountains.  They're experiencing floods as of press time but this won't last. They have Asheville (a big tourist attraction in it's own right), Harrah's Casino, Tweetsie Railroad, Ghost Town in the Sky, and a few others that way. The Rocky Mountains of Denver, CO and the Grand Canyon are also awesome. Elevation is high so controlled breathing and water intake are key. 

2. Tennessee.

You still have the appeal of the mountains and many great cities.  Among these to visit are Gatlinburg, Nashville and Knoxville. Dollywood is also a hot attraction. Go further east to Memphis and hear some great blues and eat some of the best BBQ ever. 

3. Northern/MidWest cities and attractions

You could set a cross country tour from Chicago all the way to Philly. Hit up Indiana with Long's Donuts, Ohio with the Rock n Roll Hall Of Fame and the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Cap it all off with a trip to NYC and Times Square.  Also if amusement parks is your thing, plenty along that way also.

4. Seattle and the Space Needle and such

Seattle, WA isn't a bad summer getaway. Plenty to see besides the space needle. This is the birthplace of Jimi Hendrix and many major businesses.

5. Niagara Falls/The Great Lakes.

Ok I get it, you want to be around some water. No worries. Going to see all of these lakes and falls gets that fix in for you. It's majestic and just the right temp, just like Fall in the South.

Ok you may have to plan for 2019, unless it's Tenneesee but you can think outside of the box and go places that you won't sweat, are still fun, and memorable for you as an adult and for your young family.

God is STILL in the schools

In the wake of more school shootings and drama, it seems the narrative in areas such as the South always goes back to prayer and God being taken out of public schools.

Wait, wait??? Scratch the record! I didn't know you could take someone omnipresent out of a physical location.

Guess what folks, you can't.

God is everywhere, even when folks try to deny His existence. And yes prayer does make that stronger. But guess what, no one can stop anyone from praying in silence or in private, like the restroom.

So miss me with that talk. If we're talking how far South society and conduct in schools has gotten, you have to start with the parents. The parents have gotten lazier as a whole. Yeah coat of living has risen and many have to work erratic hours to make ends meet.

But you know what, that shouldn't come at the expense of the child and teaching them fundamentals. Parents that work 12 hour shifts on farms and cotton mills still make sure their kids were loved, disciplined properly, and taught respect.

It's lazy parenting. They don't make many parents like those in my mother's generation. These parents want to play superheroes to society while forgetting that they have lives to mold at home. How soon we forget the Mendenez brothers.

So blame Trump, technology, whomever you can with a valid argument.  But best believe, if you're blaming the absence of God, your overall argument is circular at best. Do your research on how the family structure has changed first.

With that, praise God and drop the mic!