Words That Have Became Offensive Over The Past Few Years

We are now in an era of greater tolerance, especially in the face of anti-bullying and hypersensitivity. There are more words than ever that can no longer be used in a public context. Obviously such words such as the one beginning with the letter 'n', midgets, and pretty much any slang against the Asian culture is offensive. Here are a list of other words that are even deemed illegal in certain areas and states.

1. Porch Monkeys
2. Retarded
3. Mongoloid
4. Dwarf
5. Half-Breed
6. Mixed (not offended by this one BTW)
7. Fat
8. Dumb
9. Idiot
10. Apes
11. Sambo
12. Spearchucker
13. Handicapped
14. Crippled
15. Waiter/Waitress
16.  Secretary
17. Receptionist
18. Steward/Stewardess
19. Janitor
20. Stripper
21. Spook
22. Tar Baby
23. Towel Head
24. Beaner
25. Peckerwood
26. Cracker
27. Honky
28. American Indian
29. Most Native American Nicknames
30.  Yankee
31. Redneck
32. Hillbilly
33. Trailer Park Trash
34. Good Ol' Boy
35. Guido
36. Uncle Tom
37. Oreo
38. Aunt Jemima
39. Uncle Ben or Remus
40. Nerd.
41. Pygmies
42. Swish
43. Wop

Are there any other offensive words that you may or may not have been aware of?

High School: Do Some People Ever Really Leave?

I have been out of high school for almost eighteen years now. That's right, if you do the math, I'm almost 36.  And being in my mid 30s,  what I have discovered is that many folks never mentally leave high school, or that stage in their lives.

Their behavior is still very juvenile.  They may have successful careers and families, but they still have cliques,  drama, and thoughts like a high schooler would have. Laughing at inappropriate times and things.  Belittling others and competing to keep up with the Joneses.  These adults seem to take more pleasure out of badmouthing and trashing others than the teenagers do.  It's a 24/7 popularity contest.

High school was also the last time they may have felt significant,  or even attractive.  During those days, they were living the 90210 life: parties,  proms, popularity. They were the stars of their sports teams, head cheerleaders, class beauties, and life seemed like it would never end. Then came graduation day. Now many of the most popular kids in high school live the most boring lives. They are stuck in unfulfilling, dead end jobs, their beauty has faded, they are sky high in debt, and they are unsatisfied in their love lives. They may also feel stuck in their hometowns, and feel bitter towards others.

High school can be a rough time for anyone to grow up in. You have recently hit puberty, you are forced to make choices that could affect you long term in life. You learn to drive,  fall in love for the first time, and see how popular or unpopular you are. Oftentimes being different isn't tolerated in social circles.

It's great to look back every now and then. I'm big on nostalgia.  However,  one needs to grow up and move forward with their lives. Become more cultured and seek life outside of the norm. It's like Pharrell says, experience life in a room without a roof. Be happy where you are and live it up.

I have attended two high school reunions and I have my third coming up in a couple of years. One thing to remember is that everyone isn't stuck in high school.  Many people are into their own lives now and have put old drama behind them. Therefore,  it should not be rekindled. Rather it should be resolved. You shouldn't still be thinking about how you miss that post-prom blowout in 1994.

Therefore, take off the Richie Cunningham letter jacket and stop worrying about not getting invited to the first cookout or soiree' of the year. It's time to live in the present moment and make the most positive memories you can.

Locker Room Culture Throughout Sports

There are just a few weeks left in football at all levels. The NFL, and the Miami Dolphins has a locker room hazing and bullying scandal so extreme it would take Olivia Pope to fix.

Many out there are familiar with this Richie Incognito/Jonathan Martin saga that continues to develop and unfold daily.  There are many schools of thought, suggestions, excuses, and remedies.

My question is this: why are we not looking at the locker room of the Miami Dolphins?

Often when something like this happens on a sports team, especially a professional one, there's a lot of dysfunction and a lack of leadership in the locker room.

I have played sports, and I will tell you the locker room encompasses a variety of things.  Confidentiality.  Teamwork. Unity. Fun. Game planning. Harmless playing around and bantering occurs at every level in every team sport. Usually when it gets out of hand, it's up to the team leaders and captains to settle it on site.  The objective is not to let anyone outside of the team find out what is going on: no coaches, no family members, and definitely no media.  The unwritten rule is to go to the coaches only when it is at such a dangerous and harmful magnitude.

It appears the Miami Dolphins failed on all of these counts.

Now the coaches I had were in tune with their locker rooms. That was mostly because of careful observation and good leadership.  The Phins are going to have to develop these traits in order to repair this mess.

I saw a nearby high school team become ruined recently due to extreme hazing in the locker room. It leaked to parents and the outside media and the fallout equaled that of an earthquake. Nearly a dozen guys were thrown off the team, and the jayvee squad was dissolved and promoted to varsity.  A year later, the head coach left. Up until late this football season, this team had a losing streak dating before that debacle. 

Will the Dolphins have something similar happen? Yes many can agree that Martin could and should have handled it better. Incognito should never been allowed on the team again. However, it starts from the bottom up. The proper leadership must be developed to prevent this behavior going forward.  Incognito has had a horrible disciplinary record since his college days. He would not survive in a stable, functional locker room.

Many athletes know how locker rooms can and should be. The consensus is you want peace, comfort and tranquility. This is how you build a winner, and keep the media from reporting on you, night and day.

Let's hope sports teams everywhere learn from the Dolphins, especially in this anti-bullying era.

School Uniforms: The Pros and the Cons

The school year continues to pass as the Fall season is in full swing. Last month, many parents were in a hustle and bustle to buy their children school clothes. While some parents struggled and bought what they could, other parents turned it into a competition: buying the hottest clothes and name brands. The newest Air Jordan sneakers, Polo, Ed Hardy, and other hot and expensive brands. Facebook and Instagram turned into a two week fashion show for the school children.

This can often showcase the haves and have-nots, and also those who spend above their means just so their kids can keep up with the latest styles.

Now what if every school required uniforms? You would definitely cut down on shopping and other factors.

This topic drew lots of discussion and feedback on Facebook. It also prompted me to sharpen my research, as is often the case when I write. 

Here are some pros and cons to uniforms in school based on my findings:

Pros:

1. It will level the playing field for the have-nots, and not make them feel out of place for not wearing the latest brand or style.

2. Promotes unity and teamwork, as indicated through research and studies. Both genders could wear the same generic colors or styles, and learning would be placed back at the forefront. 

3. Bullying would lower in this area. Children have been persecuted for years because they didn't have nice clothes and shoes for school. Also, the ones that do are also targets. Jealous, mean children like to criticize and even try to steal clothing from more affluent children.

4. It is good preparation for the workplace. Many jobs not only enforce a dress code, they require some sort of uniform clothing.  Think about the corporations that only allow blue and black suits and pantsuits. Isn't that similar to uniforms?

Cons:

1. School uniforms can be pricy, often more than regular clothes.  You especially run into this problem with schools that have shirts with their logo and crest embroidered.  Possible isolation could still occur.

2. You could always have students that may not be able to afford a week's worth of uniform clothes, and still get bullied. And even if they could afford them, what if their clothes, or themselves were smelly? Also, even in schools that require simply generic white T-shirts and khakis, there's potential for problems. One kid could feel out of place if their khakis are old, faded, or aren't a top-notch brand.

3. School is an awesome vehicle for students to express themselves via fashion. Although they could still do so on the weekends and after school, they see most of their peers during school hours.

4. Everyone is not going to like the uniforms, parents and children alike. Schools run the risk of losing good, prominent students.

Overall, I believe uniforms could do more good than harm. The numbers are out there. Discipline and learning needs to go up, and bullying needs to decrease. Ensuring your school isn't a fashion show can be a great step forward. It can be as good as you can make it.

Every student should be given the equal opportunity to learn without distraction.  Those that care more about their attire than an education can quickly be identified.

Therefore, think twice and evaluate both sides before you think uniforms are best for your child, student and school. However, it can be worth a test drive or a trial run. Sometimes every experiment doesn't turn out bad, and change can be good and beneficial.

Teenagers, what has happened?

I'm mostly on a rant here because I don't know what is going on with our youth, especially the kids ages 13-19 (teens). It seems the teens of today have little regard for themselves or their future. They're too worried about the next Drake album, Nicki Minaj's next performance, and texting, texting, and more texting. You can't talk to a teen anymore directly, you must text them.

Many also seem to lack respect in many key areas: towards authority, themselves, their own peers. Teens now get strung out on anti depressants and/or commit suicide instead of dealing with life head on.

Years ago, troubled youth was often a nasty by-product of an absent parent, often the father. Now it is a bevy of reasons. Peer pressure is still relevant and much more intense. Also, its lack of attention at home from either parent. The discipline methods have also failed. When will these professionals realize that timeouts and simple stern looks do not solve every problem.  Often a parent or guardian will have to use strict discipline and punishment, preferably corporal punishment.

I also blame the media. Whether it be through these awful reality shows, to celebrity drama in your face 24/7, our youth aren't seeing much positive, enriching material.

Technology is also the blame. Texting, smartphones, tablets, laptops, the web, and of course social networks. Many of these are necessary for our daily lives, but now teens are so drawn into them its hypnotizing.  They are no longer or often incapable of being active outside or holding regular, traditional conversations. They are too busy texting, or on a social network such as Facebook or Twitter.

I do my part, especially with my younger cousins. Many of them have these destructive traits. However, I teach and show them alternatives, to keep them well rounded. Reading, writing, the gym, documentaries, even getting involved in their schools and communities. I feel that those activities can still make them positive, productive adults. Sometimes we need to return to what works the best.

Encourage and nurture these troubled teens, they are our future CEOs, presidents, city council officials, teachers, principals, and caretakers. They must know how to handle the real world and not think life is a game of Angry Birds or Words With Friends.

To my friends/readers with grandkids , you think raising their children is rough? Consider the fact that your golden years are in their hands. They will either be the ones taking care of you, or choosing your nursing home.

Now are we ready to be the village again?

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Bullying: my personal battles

There are many things wrong with this country, this world. We're nearing a depression, no major disease has been cured in nearly 60 years, and it seems our younger generation is not offering much promise. However, there has been one great form of justice that I love seeing and believe its far too late. This is the anti-bullying laws that are on the books and growing. Too bad this wasn't around in the 80s and 90s when I was a child, but this gives our troubled generation something to be fortunate about.

I was bullied and tormented throughout most of my school days. I was beaten up, called names, made fun of, ostracized from most of my peers, and just made to feel an outcast. It's not that I didn't fight back. I can fight, and as a muscular man who grew up in the sticks, I learned how to defend myself early on. In fact, I got into four fights in one school year, all on defending myself. However, I had to start fighting off of school grounds because all of this fighting was not looking good on my school record.

You name it, I got bullied for it. Being one of the smart kids, being poor, not having nice clothes or my own car when I turned 15, not being able to get girls, being overweight, biracial, stuttering.  Needless to say, my mother stayed up at the school for years, talking to teachers and principals to put a stop to this.  It was horrific, and made me realize who my true friends were then.

This sort of bullying, and even in more extreme forms, occurred for years until April 20, 1999, when a couple of teenagers at Columbine High in Colorado had enough.  They confronted and killed their assailants, several other students, then killed themselves. This single incident not only changed public school dynamics forever, it spawned many other school shootings and bomb threats. 

Technology also intensified bullying to a different level. Texting and social networks such as Facebook gave bullies other vehicles to get at folks that were simply "different" Victims then began committing suicide as they could not handle all the bullying coming from every angle.

Finally, a change was necessary. That is when anti-bullying laws finally came into effect in many states. Now I never consider taking my own life because of a bully. I do hate it took extreme fatalities before legislation was passed to control this. Bullying dates back to even biblical times. There has always been a bully for every smart, unique person that just couldn't fit in. Looks like a change is here. Perhaps not the change President Obama campaigned of in 2008, but a positive one nonetheless.

Now I'm not the type to hold a grudge. I'm very forgiving and am cool with many of the folks that bullied me in childhood. Many of them have apologized to myself and my mother for making my childhood hard. There is no weakness in forgiveness.

My faith in God, plus my strong willed nature and family and friend support have helped me to overcome my demons from the past. You have to move on, and not let bad moments turn you into a monster. I feel I became a better man as a result of my experiences.

My advice to current victims is not textbook but effective. Defend yourself. Stand strong and don't back down. Try to refrain from weapons if possible.  Take up boxing or MMA at your local Y, gym, or join a self defense class. If all that fails, find an adult you trust to help. This can be a parent, guardian, teacher, coach, pastor, or even a positive mentor. Let's end bullying once and for all. 

I appreciate everything I have and have accomplished in life because I have earned it.  I could have taken a left turn and ended up in jail, dead, or just an angry hoodlum. But instead I am a positive, educated, productive members of society. Life is full of choices and I was determined at a young age that these mean, misunderstood children were not going to get the best of me. Matter of fact, they motivate me and continue to do so to this day.

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