STARS: How To Voice Your Concerns if Something is Bothering you

I wish someone could tell me why we have scores of effective means of communication and we still cannot articulate when something is bothering us. If someone or something is hurting your spirit that badly, they need to know. Period.  

I like to give myself and the other person a few days to cool down. I then attempt to ask what's going on with them and their life. Remember it's not always about you. They could be undergoing a major setback and just cannot verbalize that to you. 

I like to meet and talk with folks face to face. That is another one of the many challenges of the pandemic. However there is a neutral place: the grocery store! I like to have a third party with me to mediate in case things go South. If a face to face meeting is possible, determine if you can use FaceTime, Zoom, etc or simply a traditional call.

I then like to take inventory on what I need to do on my end and what I would like for them to do in order for us to be able to coexist.  

I have found great results with these methods. At day's end, everyone has their voice heard and there are no secrets at all.