Josh Hamilton: simply a player you must keep around

I have written before about how baseball can be a slow paced sport for most. However there are many superstars and inspirational stories. Josh Hamilton is both of these. This far this MLB season, he is making his case for the AL MVP.

Josh hit five homers in one game last month, having a Babe Ruth type night. He has been hitting homeruns, RBIS, and has held a stellar batting average and on base percentage. for years now. He is already surrounded by other sluggers on The Texas Rangers such as Ian Kinsler and Nelson Cruz. Basically The Rangers, led by Hamilton and company, can score at least eight runs on a given night.

Josh has been simply a huge model of consistency since I began following him five years ago. One of his few hiccups on the diamond is his injuries, the worst occuring in 2010. He was on my fantasy team then. I was just getting good in fantasy sports then and failed to see the big picture. Consequently, I didn't choose him as a keeper for 2011. I am now kicking myself for that costly mistake, although I have other stars on my squad, and have learned the game well.

I only hope the Rangers don't make the same mistake. They have been to the past two World Series, only to fall short of the pennant. This is one player they need to pay and keep. His ability, persistence and character are almost unmatched. The Rangers already let Mark Texiera and Alex Rodriquez go to the guys in the pinstripes , the New York Yankees. The Rangers have a championship brand, and Hamiliton needs to be one of the centerpieces.

Josh Hamiliton is just a person that you want to be around, in and out of the ballpark. He has strong spiritual and moral values, loves his team and his fans, and has overcome drug addiction. He is a warrior in my eyes. I hope the Rangers see this in 2013.

Josh Hamiliton has definitely proven his worth as a former number one overall pick. He will have down games and maybe years. However, he is a must have in the fantasy realm and on the actual diamond.

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Seven Online Dating Tips To Ease The Tension

Online dating was once considered taboo and only for the lonely and desperate. Many adults of all walks of life, from corporate professionals to schoolteachers and even factory workers now date on cyberspace. They try pay sites such as eHarmony and Match, and even experiment with free sites such as PlentyofFish.

I've participated in online dating myself and have had success, even forming two relationships based on Internet encounters. Here are seven tips for those that are new to the scene, or want to improve their odds.

1. Call and text this person for at least two weeks prior to meeting them.

This is not much different from traditional dating or courting. Only you have yet to meet this person yet. Listen to what they have to say, keep your standards intact, and see if they are the person they portray in their online profile. For example, they may claim to have a Ph.D. Now if they are cursing every breath, can't form a coherent sentence, and use a lot of slang, that may be a red flag. The intent here is honestly to see if you can have a good conversation with them. Dead silence and one-word text messages are neither good nor indicative of chemistry.

2.  Find a degree of separation between the two of you (mutual friend, connection, town, school, etc)

This can facilitate the process and weed out any pretenders. It is especially important if both of you have a common friend or acquaintance. You have a third party involved that can give you honest insight into what this person is really like. This way, if they have a sudden moodswing or even a dark secret, you're not as suprised.

3. Make sure they have a vast and classy collection of photos in their profile.

Now I'm not at all shallow. However, the person must be attractive on the outside to you if you are ever going to consider dating them. More important, one or two pictures rarely tell the story. You will need a variety, preferably at least one recent full body shot. Most anyone looks good with a head and shoulder shot. However, you should not need to be in shock when you meet them and there is a 50 pound weight differential. Finally, look at how that person is dressed. If all they have on is wife beaters, bathroom poses, and pics of them in scandily clad clothing, you may want to think twice about continuing that relationship. It is about what you want, but you want to make sure this person portrays class and isn't just on the web to cheat on their significant other or use you as bait to be their side date.

4. Google them

Google can be your friend when dating a virtual stranger. There are many research and background tools online, and Google is an awesome place to start. You can even find out where this person works, what they tweeted if their Twitter account is public, or other pertinent and useful information. Google isn't just for women anymore; it's a legitimate research source. Also, its free. Use it to your full advantage.

5. Social networking

I just mentioned Twitter. Also, find out if they're on Facebook, LinkedIn, Google +, or Instagram. This comprises numbers three and four. You get to see their photo gallery, extensive profiles, what their thoughts are, how they express themselves, and you may even come across someone you both know. It has happened to me several times. Many people will not date someone, even online, if they are on social media together. However, for this purpose, it may be very effective. This is especially the case with Skype. You can video chat with a person to get a better view of who this person there. Smartphone apps such as Facetime and Tango have similar benefits.

6. Don't date someone more than two hours away

I would almost even say an hour for Internet dating. At worst, don't go outside your state, or more than one state. Long distance relationships are tough enough. You want to have an ample opportunity to know this person. Make an effort to try folks in the next city, or within close driving distance.

7. Meet them in a public place, and have a friend of yours present

The big day has arrived. You two decide to meet after all of the phone calls, texts, pictures and research. I would suggest doing it in public for safety purposes and during the daytime. The mall is a great place for this meeting to occur. Other great places are uptown, a grocery store, a local festival, or even a crowded park. The meeting is when everything comes together. It is much harder to fake a connection or a vibe in person. Not everyone is capable of accomplishing this, which is why they hide behind the Internet. You can finally get a better idea of who they are, and if you want a second date, just the two of you.

Online dating is really not that scary. Just use common sense and proper judgment.  Happy cyberdating!

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Dale Jr: The Little Race Car That Could

Many NASCAR fans are fond of the Earnhardt family, especially the late, great Dale Earnhardt. He won seven championships, numerous races and money, and built an awesome brand for himself. His son, Dale Earnhardt, Jr., has yet to experience the same type of success thus far in his career. He has no championships to his credit in the Sprint Cup series, and hasn't won a race since 2008.

It seems Jr. keeps coming close and contending, but cannot finish. He has several top 10 finishes so far in the early season, and a couple of second place finishes. Nonetheless, Jr. still cannot get over the hump.

This winless streak was never more evident than last year's Coca Cola 600 in Charlotte, NC.  He historically doesn't race well in the city where he has a house and owns a club uptown, Whiskey River. However last year it appeared Jr. was well on his way to snapping the streak. He tragically failed to gas up on his final pit stop with a comfortable lead. He consequently ran out of gas on the final lap and Kevin Harwick passed him to take the checkered flag.

He is constantly reminded of his streak and that infamous race. He and his team has been in Charlotte the past two weeks for the All Star Race on Saturday, May 19th, and then for the Coca Cola 600 on Sunday, May 27th. Winning would certainly remove several monkeys from his back.

He is certainly trying to build his own legacy and branch out as a successful NASCAR driver.  Unfortunately, it is difficult to follow a great driver and legend such as Dale Sr. Currently, the pressure seems to be weighing the younger Dale down.

A win, preferably this weekend or soon thereafter, would at least draw him closer to being a great driver and not just the son of one. He could then start resuming his strategy to win the Sprint Cup.

He certainly deserves to win. Dale Jr. is truly the young engine that could. Now I feel he is at a crossroads. He can either be his own man, and turn this thing around, or he can fade into mediocrity.  The choice is his.

There is one sure thing: this year's Coca Cola 600 will be one of the most interesting in recent NASCAR history. All eyes will be on Jr. Can he get that coveted win this racing season?

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Top 7: My Favorite NBA Championship Teams

It's that time of year again, The NBA playoffs, and soon the NBA Finals. The NBA has seen some awesome championships and dynasties. Legends have been made during this time. This week, I am highlighting my top seven personal favorite championship teams

1.  1973 New York Knicks

Yes I am a Knicks fan, and this was our last championship team. It featured Finals MVP Willis Reed and Earl "The Pearl" Monroe. We had a good run in the 90s and should have gotten two more while Jordan was still retired. This team raised the bar that we are still trying to reach. Slowly we are getting back there.

2.1988 LA Lakers

I hate the Lakers as much or more than I love the Knicks. However, they and Boston dominated the 1980s. Urban audiences paid attention to the Showtime Lakers with Magic, Kareem and Worthy. They just ran you roughshod all over the court and the league was just exciting, albeit a two team race. The 1988 team was my favorite of that dynasty because it was the final with that group. Magic and the gang were still together, Pat Riley was still coaching and they got one more before the decade ended. Not even Kobe's Lakers with five of their own have yet to match these Lakers.

3.1989 Detroit Pistons

It's hard not to like the back to back champion Bad Boys with a young Dennis Rodman, Bill Laimbeer, and even Isaiah Thomas. That team was a special one and a gritty one. They had their own style of play and came to win.

4.1996 Chicago Bulls

They were easily the best team in NBA history to date.  Just like all of the present day Heat, Celtics, and Lakers fans, seemed everyone was a Bulls fan in the 90s. It seemed after Jordan returned from his first retirement with Scottie Pippen, Rodman, Ron Harper, Toni Kukoc and those, there was no stopping them. They dominated the regular season with 72 wins and then only lost three playoff games enroute to the championship. They were destined to win everytime they hit the hardwood and had a swagger unmatched before or after.

5.  2004 Detroit Pistons

It appeared at the time the whole world expected Shaq and Kobe to restart another dynasty as they added veterans and rookies alike to their all star palette. However Larry Brown and his team of underdogs had other ideas. Led by Big Ben Wallace, Finals MVP Chauncey Billups, Rasheed Wallace, and rookie Tayshaun Prince, the 2004 Pistons lacked flash and style. However, like the original Bad Boys they played with grit and heart. They not only beat the Lakers, they did it in five games. Billups elevated himself to a second tier point guard, and the Pistons were again on the map.

6.  2008 Boston Celtics

This franchise went from dominant, to mediocre, to plain awful. They were almost (but not nearly) as bad as last years Cleveland Cavaliers or this year's Charlotte Bobcats. However, they gave their young point guard Rajon Rondo and holdover Paul Pierce some much needed weapons in Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen.  Suddenly a new Big Three was born. This team went from worst to first in one year, one of the quickest turnarounds in NBA history.  Garnett will forever be remembered for saying Anything Is Possible!

7.2011 Dallas Mavericks

This was another team and owner in Mark Cuban that received a long overdue NBA title. Like the 2008 Celtics, the 2011 Heat were supposed to dominate the league and win it all with their Big Three of LeBron James, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh. However, Dallas, led by Dirk Novitizi and Jason Terry, had other plans. They caught fire in their bellies, took advantage of LeBron's historic poor fourth quarter play, and captured the championship. The Mavs were denied in 2006 by the Heat,  but not this time. They shined when no one else expected them to, like other teams on this list.

So who are some of your favorite NBA champions that I omitted?

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Yes We're Talking About Love Again

It seems love and relationships are always a popular topic, especially around young adults. Often I will see a blog or podcast and I can predict the topic and outline before even viewing the byline. Heck I have even gotten with the program myself and have been writing more blogs and articles related to love and romance.

The topic couldn't be hotter than right now. Springtime, women showing more skin, more weddings and breakups, and just a sense of overall renewal. Plus, Steve Harvey and his book-turned movie Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man has many folks talking. People in churches, workplace water coolers, barbershops and beauty salons, social media, and social gatherings are talking up love.

This is not a bad thing either. Most all of us may not desire marriage or a relationship. But many do desire companionship from someone they can be intimate with. Often sex is involved, especially for the men, but nonetheless affection from another person seems to be a cure-all.

Basically everyone between 25-50 can relate. They have been in love, in relationships, are sexually active, have been married, heartbroken, rejected, and simply been active in the game of love. And the game is serious once you're a grown working adult and have more worldly experience and insight. It's a good and easy conversation piece, even moreso than the weather.

Now there are folks, myself included, that prefer to keep portions of their love life private. However, they will still discuss love, sex, dating, attractions, marriage, and divorce at length.

It's honestly an awesome feeling to be in love and in like. I truly believe you must like a person first before you can love them. The feeling is also awesome when they feel the same way and then you begin discussing, well, love and other subjects and explore dating options.

Now when the relationship doesn't last and breakups and heartbreaks come, that's even worse. It was still good to love and be loved. However misery loves company. Also, with a divorce rate of over 50%, rejection and heartbreak are subtopics of love and relationships.

Love has been around since the beginning of time with Adam and Eve, and its not going anywhere. We may not admit it, but we do like companionship, and seeing other folks in happy relationships. 

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Top 7 Male Black Comedians That I Find Funnier Than Kevin Hart

America, specifically Black America, have seemed to lack a dominant, hilarious black comedian since Dave Chapelle decided to step away. Dave was preceded by legends such as Pigment Markum, Richard Pryor, Redd Foxx, Eddie Murphy, and Chris Rock. You could even throw The Kings of Comedy in there.

One of the Kings, Steve Harvey, is big in the limelight at the moment. Family Feud host, radio show personality, and best selling author of Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. This book has spawned a movie, Think Like A Man, which has been one of the most successful and talked about movies this year. The star comedian was Kevin Hart. Now it appears Kevin Hart has taken the role of Chapelle, Rock, Murphy, Redd, etc.

Don't get me wrong, Kevin is funny and talented. However, he is NOT an elite comedian. He is corny, annoying, and unoriginal. He is too derivitative of many of the comedians I have mentioned and many others. However, he seems to be the surrogate or substitute teacher in the eyes of many. Not mine though.

This week, my top seven will consist of seven active black males that are funnier than Kevin Hart, and that more people should pay attention to.

1. Mike Epps

Yes I realized he's a pothead and doesn't have the best reputation. Nonetheless, he is laugh out loud funny, original, and seasoned. Epps can just be talking and make you bust a gut. He's definitely a fave of mine.

2. DeRay Davis

Another extremely funny man that can't seem to get any respect. Katt Williams (who is funny but not on this list because he is not currently active) once called DeRay the funniest comedian out. DeRay's Showtime special last year was a huge success. He and the aforementioned Epps even had a friendly Twitter battle last year.

3. Affion Crockett

His standup humor may not be strong as most on this list, but he is a good, versatile comedian. He could easily be on Saturday Night Live or a variety show. He needs one, since FOX canceled his show"In The Flow With Affion Crockett". He presented humor and skits that were sharp, timely, and not seen much or ever. I hope Affion continues with his career because he is truly a diamond in the rough.

4. Alonzo Bodden

He's a former runner up and winner of Last Comic Standing, and simply a funny, unique comedian. He doesn't discuss relationships, marriages and children much because he has no kids and he's a bachelor. However, he has that character and natural ability to make you laugh just by giving his view on things going on in the world and pop culture.

5. Earthquake

This big, funny man is currently on The Royal Comedy Tour with Sommore, Cedric The Entertainer and others. He is very raw but real. He is also versatile as he has appeared in television and movies and killed the scene. He is just very silly, but not to an annoying point.

6. LaVell Crawford

An even larger funny man, this portly comedian has been on Comic View, runner up on Last Comic Standing, and has a couple of specials out. He pokes fun at his weight, relatives, his diabetes (the sugar) and dealing with call centers. He is always dressed up in a three piece suit ala Steve Harvey, and beyond that, has that style that I love seeing.

7. J. Anthony Brown

This laugh machine is on The Tom Joyner morning show, and despite being older than the previous six, has that natural ability for comedy. He has that folksy, old soul like a John Witherspoon or a Paul Mooney, but much crazier. He also compares to George Wallace. But his overall style is second to none, and he excels at poking fun at various topics and telling gut-busting stories.

So once again, this is not to disrespect Kevin Hart. It is to say he is not the only act in town that black folks can relate to, and certainly not the funniest. YouTube these seven I mentioned, listen to their Pandora stations, and rent their comedy specials. I can almost guarantee their quick wit and original brands of comedy will keep you laughing.

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Don't Sweat It: Just Relax

We all encounter bouts of stress and turmoil. No one is without their battles and struggles. Some folks have it better, and some have it way worse. Nonetheless, they are struggles all the same.

Stress management is crucial not only to your health and happiness, but also your goals and achievements. Working under pressure and being overly stressed are two different things and should not be confused.

I have previously mentioned about treating yourself once a week. That is definitely good. You have to take the load off at times.

Also, find inspiration in others. I find it in my circle of friends and family, ministers such as Joel Osteen, watching movies such as Remember The Titans and Antwone Fisher and most sports movies. They give me that extra drive and motivation that I deem paramount and necessary.

Exercise is a major factor in stress relief. I go to the gym several times a week, partially to blow off steam. It seems I don't think about my problems while I'm working out. I'm in my own zone.

Listening to music is also helpful, as it's the universal language. I have a vast and contradicting playlist, plus my Pandora stations have variety also. When I really need to relax, I listen to oldies from the 50s-70s, Michael Jackson, and even jazz. I feel calmer, cool and collected after hearing these types of songs and ballads.

Finally, I breathe and mediate. That's right. I get my quiet time, my “me” time to simply think, unwind, and unleash the negative tension.

Relieving stress is obviously easier said than done. However, stress management is important and necessary. Don't sweat the small stuff, pick your battles, know what you can control and simply relax! Nothing is permanent. Your test can someday be your testimony. So stick to the fight and don't let life knock you out with one punch. You're stronger than that.

Top 7: Places and Ideas for Spring and Summer dates

The warm weather appears to be here to stay for a few months. Many folks go outside more often and enjoy the beautiful, sunny weather. There are many exciting things to do outside with that significant other. That is my top 7 for this week.

1. Beach

This is always a popular one, especially in my state, home of one of the most famous beaches in the country, Myrtle Beach, SC. You can take a walk alongside the beach as the sun goes down, sit on the sand together, and of course swim together. The list goes on when it comes to the beach. Thus even includes:

2. Picnic

Yes this may seem corny to some. However, simply pack a picnic basket, or have some food available, and just eat outdoors with your better half. Relive your childhood and play on the swings. You can also have picnics at the beach, national parks, even your own backyard if you live in the country like I do.

3. Walk/run together

Getting out and exercising period is simply good for both parties. However, this is a good chance to explore the neighborhood and simply talk. You can even be a little competitive and have a small race with that person. This is all in good fun of course.

4. Festivals

This is another staple in South Carolina, and even parts of North Carolina and Atlanta. It seems there is a festival happening weekly within driving distance. There is typically lots of fun for all ages. One of my best friends actually met his wife at a festival.

5. Going to the river/possibly camping It's hard to go wrong at the river. They are typically free and public. Speaking personally, Broad River in South Carolina has several different areas and parts across the state. It is a relaxing place. You can have a picnic, fish, swim, build a bonfire, go tubing, and just sit back and relax. It's a good load off and very cost effective and practical. You can also camp out at many river spots, making it a mini-getaway. People do not look at the river in this fashion, but there is a lot more than meets the eye. 6. Theme Park (Carowinds , Six Flags, etc)

These can include Carowinds, Six Flags, Kings Dominion, Busch Gardens, or even a standard water park. You get to really see the adventurous side of your mate. Riding the various rides, playing the games, going to shows, etc. It also establishes intimacy as you hold on to that person on the roller coasters and you hold hands as you circle the park.

7. Cookouts

You cannot leave out cookouts when its warm weather. This is something else that usually happens somewhere every weekend. Cookouts are typically one of the most relaxing warm weather gatherings. People playing cards, dancing, playing cornhole, the smell of the delicious food, and just the overall atmosphere. You can even experience this in your own home if you have a grill. Don't wait on a cookout invite to try and show off your grilling skills and invite a few friends over.

The warm weather will last for a few months, but it still flies by.  So get out from under that air conditioner, grab your sunscreen and have some fun outside!

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Guest Post: Yes I Need Liquor To Have A Good Time. Fight Me!

This guest blogger is one of my favorite ones to read, and an awesome person as well. Avella is a modern superwoman: corporate America employee, single mother, graduate school student, and blogger. Plus, she likes to get out and have fun with her girls and her daughter of course. Her blogs are not only intriguing, but raw. She says the stuff many folks are thinking, but wouldn't dare say aloud. Her blog is asrealasig@wordpress.com, and she blogs frequently. I would suggest you follow her for truth about life, relationships (romantic and friendships), ignorant people, pop culture, and other topics. I would like to thank her publicly for allowing me to use her blog post about partying and drinking. I hope you all enjoy her viewpoints and rationale. Love her or hate her, Avella is going to tell you like it is!

I was just talking to my homie about this and thought I would share what I discussed with him.

I've come to the conclusion that it is impossible for me to have a good time at the club if I'm sober. I'm sure this sounds like a poorly veiled cry for help from a closeted alcoholic but let me explain.

I hate a lot of things. You all should know this by now. Despite the fact that I'll usually go to these venues when I'm Bean-free, I've realize that I actually hate the club....when I'm sober. I've thought about every time I wasn't drinking or under estimated my tolerance and wound up sober in a club. I realized those instances were just awful! Like seriously, how are people able to have a good time in a club without alcohol?!

I'm not even talking about a need to be sloppy, embarrassing, black-out drunk. That is even worse than being sober in the club. I'm talking about needing a nice buzz that takes the edge off.I know for fact that if, Heaven forbid, there were some circumstance that prevented me from drinking for an extended period of time, I would just stop going out altogether.

I've decided to compile a list for you all of exactly why going to the club sober is by far, one of the suckiest things you could ever do:

1) People are ugly. When I'm sober in the club, my natural critical nature is heightened to the 12th power. It's almost like I gain X-ray vision and develop this super sensory ability to fully examine a person within 8 seconds and list every single physical flaw on his/her body. Everyone just seems atrocious. Alcohol makes me think that everyone is extremely attractive. It's like I'm in utter awe at how I'm surrounded by beautiful men and women. This of course is a huge problem when I realize that I've given my real number out to dudes I wouldn't ordinarily give the time of day.

2)People are so annoying and extra. To piggy back off my knack for nit-picking, being sober also allows me to notice just how weird/annoying/extra/creepy/gross everyone is who goes to the club. The girls who are being too extra, dying for attention....The dudes who are hollering at everything they assume has a vagina...The awkward dudes/girls who you can tell have no experience in social interaction....The girl who keeps looking at me all night. Yeah, all of them. When I'm drinking, not only do I not notice any of this behavior, but I'm likely to even be courteous to these losers.

3)Hood shit. Though I make it my business to not step foot near any hood venue, sometimes accidents happen. I have been in situations where, due to my companions and poor planning, we ended up in a Category 4 or better Urban spot. (Category 4 or better means hood rats and hood nggs can easily be found at that location and there's a good chance you will smell reefer smoke in the air). I hate hoodrats with a burning passion. I have a love/hate relationship with hood nggs though. They are fun to play with but I come from a good home and I'm a mother. I can't seriously entertain the notion of dating one. Pfffft! Nonetheless, when I'm sober, it seems like their hood antics are on a level 10. I just cannot deal. I get angry, repulsed, and unconsciously start to act out my resume. This means I start sticking my nose in the air and acting like the stereotypical, post-collegiate/grad student/sorority girl/corporate job/ bougie bitch that I'm assumed to be. Alcohol makes me ignore the purple weaves, pierced faces, and Citi-trends attire. I don't even realize Shaquawallema is bussin it open whilst smokin a black and drinkin a Four-loko she snuck in. She's just having a great time and is awesome entertainment.

4)Music. I know I'm getting old because I hate everything I hear on the radio. I don't understand how these music execs can market this shit to the masses! What's more, I don't understand how any adult in their right mind can actually say they like this bullshit! When I'm in the club, if I hear "love on top" I feel like someone is twisting a machete in my ears....I'd actually rather that then have to listen to "love on top" anymore. How the fuck do you play ballads in the night club???! Crappy ballads at that??? No one is falling in love at this mutherfcker! When I'm drinking, every song is my song, however. The DJ is a musical genius with psychic abilities because he knows just want I need to hear. Earlier, whilst sober, the music was awful. As soon as I started drinking, the music magically got incredible. I can go from Waka Flocka to Soulja boy, to nicki minaj, to beyawnce, to sweet home Alabama without missing a beat.

5) I dance like a white girl. So I have the typical bottom heavy/top light southern figure the boys seem to like. Don't let that fool you into thinking that I'm doing some magic tricks on the dance floor though. It's not that I can't dance but because I'm so extremely critical of myself when I'm dancing and sober, I feel like everyone is just looking at me. I spend so much time in my head worried about if my butt cheeks are jiggling with the bass-line and whether I look sexy, that I end up looking really tense and I feel awkward. This is even if someone bamboozles me to dance before I start drinking. I NEVER dance whilst sober for that very reason. I'm awkward even though I don't appear to be on the surface. Once I start drinking though, I am officially the baddest chick in the club. I am the undiscovered King Cover Model and worthy to be on any red carpet with some rap ngga. Also, I move like I'm trying to get pregnant. All that tense, awkwardness flies out the window and my body moves so fluid and seductive your peen would start to engage and want to prepare for battle. In other words, I'm the shit on that drank.

6) Too many people are there. I'm antisocial as fuck. I hate large groups of people. This probably doesn't make sense because I only want to go to venues and events (CIAA) that I know will be packed. I also am fully aware that these places could contain those unsavory characters I don't like. Well, I go only because I know I will be drinking. Everyone is in my way when I'm sober. Everyone is too close and invading my personal space when I'm sober. Oh but lo and behold, when I'm drinking....what crowd? Who cares that this dude is close enough to impregnate me? Who cares that this girl's boobs are resting comfortably on my back? We're having a good time! Fuck it!

7)Lack of crowd. This one is actually common for a lot of people. Nothing is worse than getting all dolled up to attend a party/club that's damn near empty. Being sober while attending this event is downright depressing. What's the solution? You guessed it: alcohol and lots of it. I cannot even count the number of times me and my friends have had to resort to alcohol to compensate for the lack of party-goers. The sparsely covered dance floor just meant that we had more space to showcase our awesome dance moves and completely ignore the fact that other people were there. Every song was awesome and we got extra love from the DJ or club host for trying to liven the joint up. Plus we get cooler faster since the dance floor is damn near empty and cold.

8)Life. My mind is always ticking. If I'm sober in a club, because I'm already not having fun, I'm likely to utilize that time to mull over some life-issue that's aggravating me. I could be stressed, in my feelings about something, in need of some peen, and so on. This self-relection coupled with being surrounded by annoying people is likely to lead to a night filled with Nyquil and evil social network rants. Alcohol makes me forget everything that's bothering me. What stress? What bills? What loser dude? I go home and fall fast asleep into a deep, alcohol-induced coma completely worry-free.

Some people brag about their ability to have a good time in the club sans alcohol like it's worthy of a badge of honor or some shit. Kudos to you! I'm glad that all you Rihannas can find love in a hopeless place. I have not an ounce of shame admitting that I simply cannot be great in a club without liquor. Apparently, club owners know that the club sucks if you're sober too. If it didn't suck so bad then why would they serve liquor in the club in the first place??? Exactly!