STARS: How I Have Controlled and Channeled My Anger

Some of you wouldn't believe it but I have anger issues. I've had them since childhood. I've been able to challenge them in different ways and few see that side of me. Prior in one year I was in trouble for high school for getting into 4 fights all on defending myself. I've committed violent acts, been temporarily banned from places and reprimanded. 

When I was in school, I had to have a come to Jesus moment with myself and find ways to channel my anger and temper. The Bible, church and the Lord helped out there. I surrounded myself with calm and stoic folks. I knew which spaces I couldn't act out in and had to learn to talk to people like I had sense. Playing football and poetry also were later outlets that helped. 

I went to anger management as a young adult and have been in therapy for over 20 years.  I have also read parts of "The Art of War". Additionally I go to the gym, meditate, and have creative outlets such as writing and painting. I also make sure I eat and sleep regularly and healthy to mitigate any angry feelings. 

In 30 years I haven't been into a physical altercation and in 20 years I haven't physically harmed anyone.  In just the past year I have reduced negative interactions and arguments by 40%. It's all about control and discipline just as most things are. Your mind is a powerful tool and must be used appropriately 

Debbie Lanier's Life and Times: Vol. 34- HASH

Yes my mom liked the smoking hash. She liked the hash you eat equally. 

This week is one week since Mom passed so I decided to resume this series for this week. 

My mom ensured she got hash every 4th of July from CKC Fire Department or from Hickory Grove. My grandpa and uncle both knew how to make it also. 

Ten years ago, I started learning how to make it. Mom assisted also. It took me a year and a half to perfect but once I did Debbie didn't eat anyone else's hash unless it was a charitable cause. I made it 2-3 times/years and even for friends. 

I've made 2 batches since her passing and may make one for Memorial Day. Debbie loved having her pint of hash and eating it on one slice of Sunbeam King Thin folded over. 

I'm getting together on the anniversary date with friends celebrating another friend's birthday eating hash. I know if Mom were here she would want some and would send money. What a way to honor her and the birthday girl!

STARS: How I Have Improved My Concidence and Interaction With Women

I often talk of my earlier struggles socializing with women. Now I look at how many female connections I have: romantic, platonic, etc. 

I had to place myself into the proper place and space. Yes I'm biracial but that didn't matter in Blacksburg in the 80s and 90s. I was black and there was only so much talking I should do to those outside my race. I also became big on who's big on me. The darker females have always given me more attention. Over the years the lighter women showed me more attention as I exuded confidence and self love. 

This confidence came from being at the WU around women from all over the world. I was embraced and loved moreso than my small town. I spoke to and plugged into various folks who hyped me and guided me. 

I went from having barely 3-4 female connections to over 50 connections over the past 30 years: exes, friends, crushes, professional connections, friends that are family. I'm very blessed. 

I still struggle and I don't consider myself a ladies man. I do have adequate confidence and self love..

STARS: How I Have Taken Care of my Cars

I've had 6 six cars in my lifetime and 3 of them have lasted 7 years or better. 

I follow simple practices by keeping my cars serviced, filling up at the halfway mark with unleaded plus, changing tires and spark plugs when the mileage indicates I should. I also keep the anti freeze and other fluids topped off. I also do not drive recklessly nor without abandon. You have to treat a car properly. 

I still have life in the 2017 Elantra and my uncle and I are trying to get a decent price for that. I think it's got 2 years left but for me it's time to start anew and get another vehicle to last another 6-8 years.