Women, don't be bitter, be BETTER!

It seems women have a lot of hard feelings when they choose the wrong mate, or when their "perfect" mate wrongs them. It appears they are acting out a scene from "Waiting To Exhale" , then they often punish the next guy that shows interest.

Women, please listen to me for a few minutes.  Not all men are perfect,  but not all men are bad. Often when things go south,  it's not always the man or men in general.  You have to keep things in perspective and know when and where you have went wrong also. It's not an easy thing,  but after a while, you must look at your own choices. 

The simple definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. " When you date the same quality or pedigree of man, you can only expect equal treatment.  You must look elsewhere.  Try a different type of man: one that is more gentle, from a different background than yourself,  an humble man, or even one of a different race. Either way, spice things up.

Also, keep your heart open and love yourself fully. How can you expect to give your love to someone else if you aren't sure of yourself and at peace?

Next,  please stop trying to make a man into a project. You are not Jesus, so don't try to work miracles. Changing a grown - up man takes too much work, work that is often for naught.   Accept a person as they are and add to their life,  rather than take away or rebuild it.

The bottom line is ladies: be BETTER! You have to be what you want to attract.  You may have a great job, a fine education,  and are extremely attractive.  However,  you must also bring an open, compassionate heart and mind to the table and not baggage from your past.  Let that go.

You can win in the game of love my females. However please stop with all the man bashing.  This isn't a reality show or a Tyler Perry movie. Life is real and we should all be real and true with it, and our hearts.

Who's On First?: Who Should Make The First Move?

It's been the age old debate, should women approach a guy they're interested in, or should they wait on God and the man? Traditionally, guys make the first move, and many women still feel this way. However, there are some brave women that go for it and realize that often closed mouths do not get fed.

There also seems to be several women that complain about the shortage of good men, not being able to find a husband, and being lonely. They then date subpar men and even knuckleheads and deadbeats simply because they approach them and they feel they can change them. Then they end up bitter, heartbroken, financially broke from having a love child, and possibly even going to the clinic for an STD.

Times have changed people! Gas prices have risen to astronomical levels, we have a black president, cell phones have replaced house phones, the Internet and social media are replacing newspapers, and Netflix and Redbox have essentiallly replaced physical movie rental places such as Blockbuster. Bob Dylan once sang "The Times Are Changing". One has to change and adjust to the times as well. This reminds me also of the definition of insanity: "doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result". 

My thing is guys should still approach women and not worry about rejection and bitterness. More women, however, need to get with the program as well.  You say you want to be equals with men in certain areas. Well, this is a good opportunity for the ladies. I'm personally flattered when a woman takes charge and approaches me.  Shows confidence and a sense of forward thinking.

Many relationships are ending right now as they often do when the weather breaks. So how will you approach your next mate? I do believe in letting God assist us in this process. However, often folks confuse things and fail to realize that God wants both parties to feel comfortable in expressing themselves. Love and relationships do not just happen, they are developed and maintained through hard work. One should start changing and developing in yourself and tell that person, man or woman, how you feel. Tradition should be left in the history books so love can happen!

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