Mary Kale: A Celebration Of 80 Years In Life, Love and Christ

My great aunt Mary Elizabeth Kale Dover recently turned 80 years old, a milestone age for her as she is the first sibling out of her family to reach this age.

There are many great things I can say about this woman. She has been such an inspirational and stabilizing force throughout my entire life.

She was born as the third of twelve children, second oldest daughter to Bill and Orie Dover. Like many children during the Depression/WWII era, she had to assist in raising her youngest siblings, especially since both of her parents worked a lot.

She got married in the early 50s to Bill Kale. They had five children: Sandra, Tim, Vicki, and twin daughters Glenda and Belinda. They would eventually have thirteen grandchildren and seventeen great grandchildren, quite a legacy.

Now that Mary was a full time mother and wife, she still played mother figure to many others. Her beloved mother Orie passed away in 1958. Therefore her and her sister Myrtle (my grandmother) were the mothers to many of the younger siblings for life.

One of the most important lessons Mary learned and still practices and teaches to this day is about the Lord. She is one of the most devout Christians I know, and is never ashamed to express her faith. Being of the Pentacostal faith, she is very vocal about the Holy Ghost as well. Hearing her and my grandma pray always gave me cold chills.  She also is a wonderful singer, and her kids and many of her grandkids have inherited this spiritual gift.

Aunt Mary has been a tough woman throughout life's advertisies. She has witnessed both of her parents, her husband and several siblings pass on. She is one of only four remaining. She does not and cannot get around like she once could. You best believe she is still strong in heart and spirit. She is a person I have always enjoyed being around as she reminds me so much of my grandma and she is such a positive, spiritual person. They really don't make them like her anymore.

I firmly believe in giving folks the flowers while they can still smell them. Therefore, these piece is for you, Aunt Mary Kale. Thank you for all of your prayers and all you have did for the entire family. I love you as you have truly been a blessing and I am thankful everyday for people like you in my life.

Grandmas Are Truly Special

This is an emotional week for me. My paternal grandmother, Ella Mae McGill, has been gone for 21 years today. Tomorrow is my brother's birthday and he would be 32 if he were living. Friday, my maternal grandmother, Myrtle Lanier, will be gone 11 years.

Grandmothers are known by many names: grandma, maw maw, mee-maw, mam-maw, nana, and even Big Mama. They are that balancing, equalizing force in our lives. They raised or help raise us in many ways. They have that old school, no nonsense manner regarding life. These special women taught us much during this time, and often let you get away with stuff and spoil you like your parents wouldn't.

I didn't get the opportunity to know my Grandma McGill as well as I would like. I do remember her as being a calm, caring, loving woman. She loved to cook pound cake , and her recipe is still a staple at family dinners. She raised eight children by herself back in the 50s and 60s in the height of racism and when welfare was basically unheard of. Grandma Ellie Mae was long the family matriarch, like Big Mama from Soul Food. She worked hard virtually her whole life, and was last a custodian at Clover Middle School. Nearly everyone says I inherited her smile and kind spirit.

My grandma Myrtle "Maw"Lanier helped raise me as my mom was in the single mother role herself. Maw had spent a lifetime raising and teaching. She not only reared her two children, she helped raised her siblings as she was the oldest of twelve,  and then later on her own grandchildren and great-grands. Maw also was a hard worker, spending years in the textile industry, doing income taxes part-time, and even returning to school for her GED and studying law before she became disabled. She taught us many things: how to cook, clean, about the Lord and church, how to drive, and how to make your voice heard. Maw was a tough, loving woman that didn't back down from anyone. That trait, among many, was passed down to me.

Watching these two great women have helped shape the man I am today. I often light up when someone mentions either one of their names. I am proud to be Myrtle and Ella Mae's grandson or grandbaby. It truly is an honor.

If your grandma is living, I hope you all cherish the relationship you have with them. These memories and times will last long after they depart.

How close are you to your grandmothers? Do you miss your grandma very much? What did she/they mean to you?