1995: A Couple Of Decades of Responsibility

1995 was a life changing year for me in so many ways. It's crazy to look back and believe it's been 20 years.

I was still deep in my teen years then which meant high school, high school football, being a senior, driving more, my high school crushes and my first job of course.

I worked hard and diligently , so much so that I earned a starting position on the football team at left offensive tackle. That was very rewarding and exciting after two years on the bench. My work ethic didn't go unnoticed by my peers as I was voted "Hardest Worker" by my fellow senior classmates.

The summer prior, I landed my first job: cooking chicken and short orders at the local Hardees. I enjoyed making my own money and saving it for stuff I needed and wanted. It gave me even more freedom.

Speaking of freedom, I was so much more excited to be a senior because I knew that come June of the next year, I would be out of Blacksburg High School and free to explore other options and increase my manhood.

Entertainment wise , I enjoyed Boyz II Men immensely. Basically R&B and alternative were my musical loves that year. All-4-One, Hi-Five, Green Day, Live, and Everclear.

One of my favorite all time movies , Friday, also released that year. I still know every line to that comedy classic.

Incidently, 1995 wasn't the best year of my life but it was the year where I grew up more and began asserting more responsibility. I was still sort of in my "nerd" shell and studied a lot and began writing poetry. It was a year of changes forever though.

What did 1995 mean to you? Which year of your life did you begin becoming more responsible?

Preparing For A High School Or A College Reunion

We are still in reunion and Homecoming season for high schools and colleges. You are seeing people that you might not normally see, haven't seen in years, or do not care to see. It's an interesting variety to deal with. Old memories are rekindled. New ones are formed. Nostalgia is in the air.

Here are a few tips that I have found it helpful when preparing for these such occasions.

1. Speak to as many of your classmates as possible weeks and months prior.

Social media makes this easy to do. They can see pictures of you, your family, children, where you live, and what you're up to. This builds the anticipation further.

2. Reminiscence, but try to let bygones be bygones.

If you and someone you regularly speak to have a bad memory or two between y'all, try to let it rest for that time period. Focus on the good times, and moving past that negativity. Enjoy the moment and each other.

3. Don't act bourgie and brand new.

Life may be good at the moment for you. New marriage, successful professional and personal life, and perhaps even a new body as a result of a revamped lifestyle. You have definitely come a long ways since your school days. However be humble and true to who you really are. Don't live your life or act above or below anyone else.

4. Enjoy the company of those who are positive and continue to be this way.

We all remember who has treated us well and has had our backs through thick and then. One should most definitely enjoy hanging around these people. They uplifted you then and now. It's all a unity and loyalty thing and even those that you don't associate with much can be part of this. This is part of what makes Homecomings and reunions special.

5. Avoid confrontations or people that may make you out of character

In short, check the drama at the door. All of that isn't necessary. Many people are different than they were years ago. Evaluate them based on the here and now and if you feel there will be hard feelings, it's best to simply be polite , walk and wave and keep it moving.

6. Stay in touch year round with some of the positive folks.

Many of us already have that circle of friends from social organizations, or from even taking the same classes. However, it never hurts to extend that circles. Make a more concerted effort to get together more often than once/year. Get all of their information and make plans shortly thereafter.

7. Go to as many parties and functions as your energy and wallet allow.

You definitely want to have good clean fun. However don't exert yourself too much physically, emotionally or financially. Many save up for this occasion and take time off from work, which is cool. Just manage it all well and reconnect as much as possible.

Most of all, have fun!

How many class reunions have you attended? Do you regularly attend Homecoming festivities at your school?

High School: Do Some People Ever Really Leave?

I have been out of high school for almost eighteen years now. That's right, if you do the math, I'm almost 36.  And being in my mid 30s,  what I have discovered is that many folks never mentally leave high school, or that stage in their lives.

Their behavior is still very juvenile.  They may have successful careers and families, but they still have cliques,  drama, and thoughts like a high schooler would have. Laughing at inappropriate times and things.  Belittling others and competing to keep up with the Joneses.  These adults seem to take more pleasure out of badmouthing and trashing others than the teenagers do.  It's a 24/7 popularity contest.

High school was also the last time they may have felt significant,  or even attractive.  During those days, they were living the 90210 life: parties,  proms, popularity. They were the stars of their sports teams, head cheerleaders, class beauties, and life seemed like it would never end. Then came graduation day. Now many of the most popular kids in high school live the most boring lives. They are stuck in unfulfilling, dead end jobs, their beauty has faded, they are sky high in debt, and they are unsatisfied in their love lives. They may also feel stuck in their hometowns, and feel bitter towards others.

High school can be a rough time for anyone to grow up in. You have recently hit puberty, you are forced to make choices that could affect you long term in life. You learn to drive,  fall in love for the first time, and see how popular or unpopular you are. Oftentimes being different isn't tolerated in social circles.

It's great to look back every now and then. I'm big on nostalgia.  However,  one needs to grow up and move forward with their lives. Become more cultured and seek life outside of the norm. It's like Pharrell says, experience life in a room without a roof. Be happy where you are and live it up.

I have attended two high school reunions and I have my third coming up in a couple of years. One thing to remember is that everyone isn't stuck in high school.  Many people are into their own lives now and have put old drama behind them. Therefore,  it should not be rekindled. Rather it should be resolved. You shouldn't still be thinking about how you miss that post-prom blowout in 1994.

Therefore, take off the Richie Cunningham letter jacket and stop worrying about not getting invited to the first cookout or soiree' of the year. It's time to live in the present moment and make the most positive memories you can.

Al Bundy Syndrome: Living In Your Glory Days

It's always nostalgic to look back into yesteryear and to simpler times. For me I look to my favorite decade, the 1990s.  During this time, one of my favorite shows, Married With Children, was popular. Al Bundy's character needs little introduction. He had a boring life as a poor shoe salesman in a dead end marriage. It always gave him joy to go back to his time as a star high school football player. 

Many of us, again, do this. However, several others are like Al: living in the past and not in reality. They cannot face the real world as it currently is. Therefore, they do whatever they can to stay young.

The glory days for many, like Al, were high school, or even college. It's prom season nationwide, sparking even more good and bad memories. You have those that want to relive their prom night over and over, and those that want to forget it.

There are also those people that were the kings and queens of their high school. Popular, attractive, no worries. Now they're adults with families and responsibilities. Many have a difficult time accepting the person they now are.

My advice to these folks that constantly turn back the hands of time is simple. Live for today and make it great. Find adult-friendly activities to get involved in. The fun doesn't have to stop because you're over 30 and are simply a common or average Joe. Life is good and a blessing.

Looking in the rearview mirror is fine. Not moving forward and keeping your eyes in front of you is dangerous. You really don't want to be the person that lives by the motto "the older I get, the better I was."

Growing up and putting away childish things is supposed to mature a person, not keep them frozen in time. It's 2013, and it's time to make new and possibly better memories.